Aunt on a Visit, Wife in Tears
Robert was woken abruptly by the doorbell. On the other side of the bed, his wife was just stirring awake. He gently placed a hand on her shoulder.
Love, stay in bed, Ill get the door. He shuffled down the hallway, grumbling quietly. Who on earth knocks at this hour?
Opening the door, he found his Aunt Margaret standing in the doorway, clutching a large suitcase. Behind her, Uncle Bernard shifted uneasily from foot to foot.
My dear nephew! Aunt Margaret declared brightly. Arent you delighted to see me? Come now, give your auntie a hug. She dragged him into a bone-crushing embrace before bustling in, sweeping past him with all the enthusiasm of a marching brass band.
So much for a quiet evening, Robert muttered to himself, lugging Margarets bags down the hall.
The rest of the night was simply chaos. Aunt Margaret flatly refused to sleep on the sofa, declaring it to be as hard as an ironing board. She then suggested perhaps Robert should tuck her in properly. Roberts wife, Emily, was gobsmacked by the whole ordeal; it had been less than an hour since Margarets arrival, and already the entire flat had been turned upside down.
Eventually, everyone bedded down for the night. Aunt Margaret and Uncle Bernard commandeered the main bed, while Robert and Emily resigned themselves to the lumpy sofa.
How long do you reckon theyll be staying? Emily asked under her breath as she set his breakfast in front of him the next morning.
No idea, love. Ill ask when I get back from work, he replied, already sensing the tension in the air.
Emily listened anxiously to the snoring drifting from the bedroom. Robert, Im nervous with them here. Cant you come home early today? she whispered.
Ill do my best, he promised, then slipped out the door.
When Robert returned from work, he was greeted by a table lavishly laid out for dinner.
Come along in, nephew, time for a family celebration! Aunt Margaret called cheerfully from the kitchen.
Emily pressed his hand and murmured, Im so glad youre back…
They sat down together, and Robert tried his best to play host. Aunt Margaret, have you been here long today? he ventured gently.
Oh! Trying to get rid of us, are you? Margaret huffed. Hear that, Bernard? Clearly were not wanted. She muttered darkly to her husband.
Aunt Margaret, dont be silly, of course youre welcome as long as you like! Robert tried to reassure her.
No, no. Well be staying with you now, Robert. Weve sold up our flat. Youre the only family weve got left. Surely you wouldnt throw your aunt out on the street? You can cope with us for however long weve got left, cant you? Margaret dabbed dramatically at her eyes with a tissue.
Roberts jaw dropped in shock, while poor Emily burst into tears and hurried from the room. An uncomfortable silence filled the space, broken only by Uncle Bernards quiet munching.
And youhavent you anything to say for yourself? Margaret snapped at her husband. All you ever do is eat! she scolded. Its always me who makes the decisions in this family, and he just goes along with it. What sort of man is that? She turned to Robert. Are you happy with me as a houseguest, nephew?
Stay as long as you wish! Robert managed to saythough he could still hear his wifes muffled sobs from the hallway.
He picked at his food without enthusiasm, while his aunt and uncle attacked their dinner with such gusto that he imagined the plates might fly off the table.
Later, as Aunt Margaret pushed back her chair, she said, Im stuffed. Oh, Robert, I was only pulling your leg. Were just here for a check-up at the hospital: should be no more than three days. And you did terribly well, nephew. You looked absolutely petrified, but you didnt let on. Family matters, you know. And once Im gone, the flat will be yourssince weve no children of our own. Youre my only heir.
Robert had never felt so relieved in his entire life. May you live to be a hundred, Aunt Margaret, he replied brightly.
Those few days with the relatives transformed Emily into a nervous wreck, weeping over every dish that didnt suit Aunt Margarets tastesthe soup was bland, the chops too tough, she hadnt done the washing up properly, and even the floors werent scrubbed right.
As they left, Aunt Margaret leaned in close and whispered to Robert, How did you end up marrying such a crier? Is she expecting a baby or something? All she does is weep!
The moment the door clicked shut behind them, Emily began to twirl around the room in delight. Maybe theyll never return! she cried, hope alight in her voice.
I cant say anything for sure, Robert chuckled. I think Aunt Margaret rather liked her stay!
I honestly cant take it anymore! Emily moaned.
Suddenly, the bell started to ring againringing and ringing.
What, again? Robert leapt up, only to grin as he realised, Oh, its just the alarm clock!
He smiled, knowing a much better day awaited him.
