During our wedding, my husband grabbed a massive slice of cake, smeared it across my face, and roared with laughterso I decided to pay him back.
Wed been inseparable since childhood. School sweethearts, shared friends, first lovethe stuff of films. By twenty-five, it felt right to start a family. The wedding seemed the natural next step.
Id planned meticulously: the perfect dress, a professional makeup artist, expensive treatmentsall to look flawless. With friends and family gathered, it was everything Id dreamed of.
Until we reached the wedding cake.
Theres a tradition here: the bride and groom cut the cake and feed each other a slice. I took the knife, he steadied my handthen he leaned in and whispered:
*”What if I just shove your face into the cake? Wouldnt that be a laugh?”*
*”Dont you dare. Youll ruin everything.”*
*”Alright,”* he smirked, and I thought that was the end of it.
But a minute later, he seized a huge chunk of cake and smeared it across my face. Then he howled with laughter. The guests joined inclapping, filming, cheering.
*”Come on, thats brilliant! Told you itd be funny!”* he crowed to his mates.
Funny for everyone but me. There I stoodruined makeup, ruined hair, ruined dresscrying. Everything Id poured my heart into, destroyed in seconds.
He kept laughinguntil I did something he never saw coming.
I grabbed an even bigger slice and crushed it into his bespoke suitworth nearly three thousand quid. His laughter died instantly. His friends, though? They lost it.
*”Do you have any idea what this cost?! This suits worth more than you!”* he screamed.
*”I know,”* I said coolly. *”Not so funny now, is it? Just a joke, love. Doesnt feel great, does it?”*
I slipped off my ring, pressed it into his palm, and walked out with my head high. Right then, I decided: no marriage of mine starts with a “joke” like that. Were done. Over.
