At 54, I went on three dateswith women aged 37, 45, and 58. Heres what I learned
My old friend Michael is 54, twice divorced, and his children are all grown up. Since his last marriage ended, hes been living in London, working, keeping fit, and not at all afraid to try his hand at new relationships. Not long ago, he told me about three recent dates that really opened his eyes.
The first date45 years old: So, wheres your car?
She was well turned out, confident, and easy to talk to. But as soon as it came up that Michael didnt own a car, her attitude changed noticeably.
How do you get around without a car?
What do you do if its pouring with rain?
How do you go shopping if you want to buy bulk?
The questions kept coming, and before long it was clear: what interested her was status, not the person. Michael just smiled to himself.
If the cars more important than the man, then thats not right for me.
The lesson: Outward confidence doesnt always mean real maturity.
The second date37 years old: I like older men
She was young, full of life, with two children and a mortgage on a flat. She said, quite openly, that she was looking for a steady man. Michael soon realised she was more interested in security than in feelings. Still, the conversation was warm and light-hearted.
She was fun to be with, but I wasnt kidding myself. Sometimes, its just nice to feel wanted, with no strings attached.
The lesson: Youth brings energy, but not always depth.
The third date58 years old: Now you owe me
The date started off brilliantly: lively, well-kept, clever conversation, shared humour, and mutual respect. But the very next dayshe rang:
Lets head to my cottage in Kentneed to clear the garden! Ive packed the car.
Michael was caught off guard.
Helping out is fine. But when someone gives you orders, all the attraction disappears.
The lesson: Independence is admirable, but a commanding tone ruins even a decent connection.
What Michael realised
All three women were interesting in their own ways, each with her own story. But Michael drew one main conclusion:
Im done looking for drama. I want someone kind and open, who is simply there beside meno pressure, no games.
Romance doesnt fade after fiftyit just grows up. And maybe, when all the illusions fall away, you finally find the kind of love thats based on honesty and warmth.
