– What sort of wife are you to me? Did I take you to the registry office? Did we stamp passports? Did I put a ring on your finger?
Sophia hesitated. She longed for all those things, but somehow, they lived without them.
– No! No! And no! – shouted Miles. – You mean nothing to me! So, on what grounds do you call yourself my wife?
– Miles, please don’t punish me with silence! – Sophia pleaded tearfully. – Let’s talk about this!
– Do you have something to say? – Miles was indignant. – You’ve already said more than enough!
– But I haven’t said anything bad, – Sophia insisted.
– Remember this: silence is golden! Especially in your case! – He turned away.
– Darling, enough with the sulking! – She scooted closer.
– It would have been better if you’d said nothing at all! – He threw his hands up. – How do you women manage to ruin everything with just one sentence?
Do they teach you this in school or at some secret courses on how to drive men mad?
Sophia interpreted Miles’ silence as being upset over her having yelled at him that morning. And to be fair, he’d broken both his and her mug.
– How did you manage that? – She was frustrated. – Everyone else seems to handle things normally, but you, it’s like you’re all thumbs!
Fine, you broke your mug, but why mess with mine? Were you hoping we’d both run out of our favorite mugs at once?
It was the most usual domestic squabble, nothing to hold a grudge over.
But Miles had left for work in a huff and when he came back, didn’t say a word to Sophia.
He was just angry, sulking and resentful. He ignored everything she did and even ignored her calls for dinner.
But they needed to make peace!
– Miles, forget about the mugs. Let’s go to the department store on Saturday and buy new ones! And trust me, your hands are just fine!
– Which mugs are you talking about? – Miles glared at Sophia with a wild look. – Don’t you realize what you’ve done with your words?
– I can apologize, – Sophia said, at a loss. – Please don’t be mad!
– Apologize? – He laughed hysterically. – If an apology could fix what you’ve done with your words, I’d be the happiest man on earth!
Instead, you’ve just crushed me! Destroyed me! Ruined me!
– What on earth did I say? – Sophia realized it wasn’t about the mugs. She couldn’t even imagine what it was about.
– Who told my boss today that she was talking to Miles’s wife? – Miles shouted, spitting the words at Sophia.
– You were showering, and the phone was ringing off the hook, – Sophia said, bewildered, – so I answered and asked her to hold until I handed you the phone.
She asked who I was, so I said your wife. But by the time I gave you the phone, she’d already hung up. What’s wrong with that?
– What’s wrong with that, you ask? – Miles’s face was red and a vein throbbed on his temple. – What do you mean, what’s wrong? What sort of wife are you to me?
Did I take you to the registry office? Did we stamp passports? Did I put a ring on your finger?
Sophia hesitated. She longed for all those things, but somehow, they lived without them.
– No! No! And no! – shouted Miles. – You mean nothing to me! So, on what grounds do you call yourself my wife?
***
– How long is this going to go on? – asked June with a smile.
– Mum, – Sophia looked at her reproachfully, – it’s not the old times. Besides, puritan speeches don’t suit you. After Dad died, you were with a few people yourself!
– Don’t talk nonsense! I know what’s best for me! – June kept smiling. – I’m past the age for gossip! But you’re young, you’ve got your whole life ahead!
– Mum, fifty-four is nowhere near old! You could still get married again, perhaps more than once, judging by current trends!
– If I found the right man, I might, – she adjusted her hair, – but till then, I make do with substitutes!
– And you lecture me! – Sophia laughed.
June suddenly stopped smiling:
– Sophia, I understand that many people now live together without a formal marriage, have children, and call it a normal family.
But legally, it’s still cohabitation. And that, in turn, offers no guarantees!
– Mum, when there’s love, it’s better than guarantees, – Sophia replied.
– Love today, gone tomorrow. But a husband, if official, offers some security. For a child, it means child support.
And if property like a home, car, or other assets are involved, you might not get a thing if he stands his ground!
– Mum, Miles and I have a great relationship! And we’ve been living together for six years. Why do we need labels? Besides, we make similar money.
– Not convincing! Not specific! – June wagged her finger. – Sophia, at least ease him into the idea!
Use ‘husband’ jokingly, ask him to hug his ‘loving wife.’ Let him get accustomed to the words, let the terms roll around his mind. Then, you can seal the deal!
– But if I scare him with that talk, I’ll have a row, then grudges, then I’ll be alone! – Sophia shook her head. – You know, Mum, happiness is fragile. It needs care, not testing!
– It’s your life, – June shrugged, – I’ll support you, whether you’re on your own or with a grandchild, if the Lord wills.
Just consider that while fun is okay, adulthood requires responsibility.
In your current situation, neither of you owes the other anything. It’s fair in theory, but impractical!
***
Sophia appreciated her mum’s kindness and support, though the advice made her think.
Marriage, after all, is a form of protection. It benefits women more than men.
Her friend Ann also advised her to make it official with Miles, but for different reasons:
– Suppose you buy a house, car, or some home appliances on credit. Naturally, you put it under the head of your surrogate family.
– Ann, – Sophia chastised, – no need for sarcasm!
– Alright, fine, – Ann conceded. – On Miles. And then what if you decide to part ways?
– No need for pessimism!
– Okay, – Ann waved her hand. – Say something unusual happens and you split, – her expressive look made Ann shift tactics. – Then Miles might gift it all to a favorite nephew, his mom, Uncle John, or Aunt Mary. And he will, and you won’t be able to say a word!
– I can say something, – Sophia assured.
– Sure, you’ll say it! – Ann smiled knowingly. – But proving it’s joint property paid from the same pot? That’s another matter! This way, you miss out on shared assets!
– What about courts, witnesses?
– Courts might help, but it could be tough proving who you are and your rights. Plus, whoever gets the assets could gather a crowd insisting you didn’t contribute a penny!
– You’re describing the worst-case scenario! – Sophia said.
– I’m describing a typical case when people live like you and Miles.
– So, I should tally receipts, keep a ledger, and record all talks with Miles when it’s about money and purchases? – Sophia asked.
– Or, just take him to the registry office, – Ann’s smile was warm, signaling the best solution.
– Mum tells me to drag him there if needed, but first, ease him into it by using terms like ‘husband’ and ‘wife.’
– Then get to it!
***
Sophia added the terms “hubby” and “wifey” to her playful vocabulary without issue. They fit naturally, rolling off her tongue with ease.
Initially, Sophia feared that Miles would revolt, but he merely chuckled, never repeating the precious phrases himself.
Sophia, though, upped the ante, calling him husband and herself wife at every chance.
This became so ingrained that she absent-mindedly told his boss, when asked, that she was indeed his wife.
***
– Miles, we’ve been living together for years, – Sophia explained, – I thought we were a family. Alright, no official stamp, but that’s common nowadays. We have a future of kids and a happy life ahead!
– Well, you should’ve kept thinking that. Why bring “wife” into it with my boss? You didn’t have to pick up. Just hand over the phone and leave it be!
– Darling, I always call you my husband, what’s the difference?
– The difference is now, because of you, I’m being sacked! You didn’t just ruin my mood! You ruined my life! My career that’s been taking off!
Now, it’s not the registry office I won’t visit with you! I won’t even live with you! I’m packing my bags now!
– Miles, aren’t you overreacting? – asked a stunned Sophia. – So, I told your boss I’m your wife. What’s changed?
– Well, now that my boss, Rachel knows I’m ‘married’, her dream is dashed! She was keeping me on because she fancied me as her free-range bachelor!
And now that you’ve claimed to be my wife, she’s signed my termination order!
***
A week after Miles left, Sophia received a visit from Rachel:
– Sophia, I wanted to apologize, – Rachel began, – but not for firing Miles, rather for not telling you we’d been deceived by him from the start, – she paused.
– I see, – Sophia waved off.
– I had plans for him. We met informally… and yes, others at the office were, um, entertained by him too…
Sophia swallowed hard.
– We thought he was single… vying to be closest. We wouldn’t have had we known… had he been a ‘husband’…
– We weren’t officially married…
– A partner then…
– No longer, – Sophia lowered her gaze.
– You know, – Rachel said with authority, – it’s probably better this way. Because he was never a true partner, but just a… bit of a rat! In a way, it’s good he set you free!
Sophia found little to disagree with.
Not a husband, not a partner, just a… bit of a rat.
