An Unexpected Reply
Emily never stood Henry. Not for a single one of the seven years shed been married to his best mate, James.
It grated on her nerves, that brash guffaw of Henrys, his hideous battered leather jacket, and that infuriating habit he had of whacking James on the back and roaring, Alright, old chap, let me guess, the wifes gone spare again! That, in particular, made Emilys blood boil.
James would only shrug it off: Hes a character, but his hearts in the right place. Which irritated Emily all the more: a golden heart was hardly a good excuse for spoiling her evening.
When James died slipped and fell, so suddenly Henry, in that daft leather coat, stood off to the side at the funeral, awkward and silent. He stared somewhere above everyones heads, like he could see something invisible to the rest. Emily caught herself thinking, Well, thats that. Now hell leave me be, thank heavens.
But he didnt. He appeared a week later, rapping softly at the door of her forlorn, empty flat.
Em, he mumbled, I could peel some potatoes or you know, lend a hand?
No need, she replied through the just-grazed-opened door, her voice even and hollow.
There is, he insisted stubbornly, slipping into the hallway like a chill draft.
And so it began.
Henry fixed everything that went wrong. Sometimes Emily had the uneasy sense that things broke on purpose, just so hed have an excuse to return.
He hauled massive bags of shopping in, as if he were stocking up for a long, hard winter.
He took her boy, Thomas, off to the parkand Thomas would come home flushed and chatty, when with James, he had always been quiet and pensive.
Her heartache settled in as a constant guest. Piercing, when she found Jamess old sock. Dull and heavy, when she brewed tea for two in the evening. Sharp and peculiar, when she watched Henrydisgusting Henrylaying plates in all the wrong places on the dinner table.
He became a living echo of James, a warped reflection. Emily suffered his company, until she realised one day she dreaded the thought of his absence. For what would be left then, except emptiness?
Her friends murmured, Em, hes been smitten with you for years! Seize the moment! Her mum said, Hes a decent bloke, dont let him slip away. But Emily only grew angrier. She felt as if Henry was stealing her grief, smothering it with his relentless care.
One day, when he arrived with yet another sack of potatoes (Tesco had a special!), she snapped.
Henry, enough! Were managing. I get ityoure looking after me and Thomas
But Im not ready. And I never will be. Youre Jamess friend. Just be that. Please.
She braced herself for offence, for the usual raft of excuses. But Henry only blushed, like a scolded schoolboy, eyes downcast.
Right. Sorry, he muttered.
And left. His absence was louder than any presence hed ever managed.
Thomas asked, Wheres Uncle Henry? Why doesnt he come round? And wrapping her arms around her son, Emily thought, Because Ive got no sense. Ive driven away the only man who came not to take, but to give.
Henry reappeared two weeks later, late one rainy evening. He smelled of wet leaves and whisky, his gaze clouded but stubborn.
May I? he asked. I need just a minute. Then Ill go.
She let him in.
Henry perched on a kitchen stool, dripping jacket still clinging.
I shouldnt, his voice rough with nerves, but I cant keep holding this in. You were right. Ive made a complete fool of myself. But, well I made a promise to him.
Emily froze, pressed to the wall.
What promise? she breathed.
Henry looked up, eyes wrought with agony.
He knew, Em. Not for certain, but he suspected. There was something in his brain, a ticking time bomban aneurysm. The doctors told him it might go at any moment. Gave him a year, maybe two. He never told you, didnt want to frighten you. But me he did. A month before he fell.
Emilys world, already cracked and tilting, crumbled to dust. She slid, boneless, to the floor in the hallway, heart hammering in her throat.
What did he say? she whispered.
He said: Henry, youre the only bloke I trust, no question. If anything happens look after my family. Thomas is still young, and Emily, welloutwardly shes tough, but she could break inside. Dont let her break, Henry! And I said, Rubbish, James, youll live forever! But he just gave me this soft look and said, Try to make Emily fall for you. She shouldnt be on her own. Youve always been good to her. It would be right
Henrys words trailed away.
That all? Emilys voice barely moved the air.
He also said, Henry mumbled, wiping something from his cheek, that at first youd hate me. Id remind you of him. Stick with it, give her time Shell get used to it. After thatlet fate decide.
He struggled to his feet.
I did my best In my own clumsy way. I hoped, somehow But the look you gave meI get it now. Itll never happen. Ill always be just Henry, Jamess friend. So I failed him. Broke my promise. Sorry.
He reached for the door handle.
Right then, Emily accepted a monstrous, unspeakable truth. She accepted the terrible love of James, whod thought of them at the edge of death. She saw the hopeless, clumsy devotion Henry had hauled around for two years, never asking for gratitude.
Henry, she called softly.
He turned, no hope left in his eyes, only the old, deep exhaustion.
You fixed the tap that James said for years hed get around to.
I did.
You took Thomas out by the river when I was sobbing in the bath, completely shattered.
Yeah
You remembered my mums birthday when even I forgot it.
He nodded, silent.
And all that only because he asked you to?
Henry sighed.
Started out that way. But afterwards it just had to be done. Because I couldnt help myself.
Emily rose unsteadily and walked to him. She looked at the battered old jacket, the worn, tired face. And for the first time in two years, she saw someone other than Jamess ghost. She saw Henrya man who had once been her husbands mate, and now had quietly assumed the burden of loving his family.
Stay, she said simply, her voice firm and clear. Have some tea. Youve caught a chill
He stared, unbelieving.
As a friend, Emily added. For the first time, there wasnt a trace of frost in her words, just something warmer. As Jamess best mate. At least until until youve had enough.
Henry grinned, the old, crooked grin that used to set her teeth on edge.
Tea? Are you sure you havent any ale knocking about?
Emily laughedfor the first time in an age. Suddenly she knewno, she feltshed no longer swat away the hand, trembling with weariness, that reached to help her. Even if it wore that ridiculous old leather glove.
