After twenty years of married life with my husband, I realized that I didn’t want to live like that anymore. I decided to get a divorce, although it was not an easy decision. We got married young: I was eighteen at the time, and my husband was nineteen. It was my first love. During our life together, we had two children. When they were small, we were united by our concern for them. We took them on vacations, took them to cafes, and tried to give them everything they needed. When my son and daughter grew up, I realized that my husband and I had nothing else in common. At first, I was afraid to admit it to myself.
Our relationship had simply exhausted itself. There were only misunderstandings and emptiness. We had no common topics to talk about. After work, we each went about our own business. We slept in separate beds. I caught myself thinking that this marriage was my mistake. Robert was not right for me, we were too different. I was annoyed by his every move. His every action or word caused me a wave of indignation. We fought out of nothing.
When my patience came to an end, I decided to break up. But something was holding me back: I didn’t understand whether it was a habit or a drop of feelings for Robert. My neighbor was going to work in Germany and invited me to come with her. I accepted her offer. I hoped that I would be able to think things over from a distance and earn some money at the same time. And upon my return, I would put an end to our relationship. Robert didn’t know about my plans, I planned to tell him everything upon my arrival.
I was working abroad for about six months. There I met people, studied the customs and mentality of another country. Everything was unusual for me. I gained a new experience. We could call my husband from time to time. Our conversations were limited to general topics.
I liked living there. But it was there that I encountered loneliness for the first time. I was left alone with my fears, anxieties, and hopes. It was unusual for me to be alone. I used to have friends, parents, then my husband and children by my side. All my life, someone was there for me and lent a shoulder. I didn’t have the time and opportunity to be alone with my thoughts. And it was this loneliness that gave me the opportunity to understand a lot.
After working the day, I would return home. Here I thought a lot about my life. Honestly, I was very uncomfortable living with such feelings. But I couldn’t help it. Then I decided to let a new man into my life. I was planning to get a divorce anyway, so why not?
That’s how Frank came into my life. He also came to work and lived here for the last six years. He was a handsome, charismatic man. He could make witty jokes, and we always had common topics of conversation. From the moment we met, he aroused feelings in me, but not for long.
Over time, everything that annoyed me about Frank was the same as my husband. The same misunderstandings and quarrels began to recur with him. So my feelings for him faded away without even developing into something more. I didn’t want to return anything or find out. I will say more – I changed my mind about divorce. During the time away from my husband, I realized a lot, cooled down, and managed to miss my husband.
If the same misunderstandings arise when communicating with different people, then perhaps the problem is not with them, but with me. I looked at my husband from a different perspective. He began to seem good, friendly, and good-natured to me.
I didn’t want to believe that six months ago I thought he was boring and stupid. That’s how the trip abroad did me good. Now I don’t project my problems and expectations onto people.
My husband has become the best man in the world for me. Even though the realization of this came to me so hard, I have no regrets. It’s never too late to change.
