After I told my wife that her daughter wasnt my responsibility, the truth about our family came out
Id been a bachelor for ages, embarrassingly so. Even my younger brother had settled down with a wife and little ones. Id never been fortunate enough to meet the right womannone quite fit the bill for a future spouse. My relatives couldnt help themselves, always teasing me about when theyd finally get an excuse to celebrate at my wedding. Personally, Id been ready for marriage for a while. Turning 34 was a wake-up call; I decided Id had enough of the single life.
One evening at a pub in Manchester, I spotted a colleagueTomchatting and laughing with a woman I hadnt seen before. The conversation drifted naturally.
Nice to see you, mate. Whats the celebration? I asked.
Good evening, Simon. My friends visiting. We thought wed have a night out.
Introduce us, wont you?
Of course, this is Sophie.
Welcome to Manchester, Sophie. Im Simon.
Im glad I get to meet new people. Lets be friends, shall we?
Would you count me among your friends?
Id like that.
Sophie was charming but modest, though clearly well-spoken and at ease. The longer we talked, the more I felt she was the one. It turned out Sophie had a daughter, Olivia, who was off at school. That unsettled me at first, I wont lie. Eventually, though, I reckoned there was nothing wrong with it.
We moved in together, and things were smooth enough. Olivia was often busyat school, piano lessons, art club. During the holidays, shed go stay with her grandmother in Kent.
Sophie had the view that work wasnt essential since I was earning a good wage and could provide for the household. Eventually, though, I began noticing Sophies expectations were becoming a bit much. It wasnt the weekly shop or the odd new household thingshe wanted to enroll Olivia in expensive tutoring, private activities, all sorts.
Simon, I need extra money for Olivias lessons, she said one evening. Can you give a bit more this time?
Alright, I do want her to keep learning, I replied.
But every week it was something new and the costs kept going up. My patience was bound to run out and finally, it didI decided to share how I felt.
Simon, she said, Olivias teacher called. Theres a field trip coming up.
And? I asked.
I want Olivia to go, but it costs quite a bit. It wouldnt be right for her to miss out when everyone else is goingtheyre waiting for our response.
Sophie, Im getting tired of these constant expenses for activities. Why isnt her dad helping out?
You knew I had a daughter when you moved in. If you were going to be selfish, youd never have married me. Im shocked!
With that, she broke down in tears and shut herself away in the bedroom. I felt bad and apologised, giving her the money she needed, but it left a sour taste. I couldnt understand why Olivias father contributed nothing. The question nagged at me, so I approached it again.
Sophie, dont be cross, I said gently. Im not trying to argue, but why doesnt your ex pay anything for Olivia?
Ive never taken a penny from him. I wont.
Well, it seems wrong. So Im expected to foot the bill for someone elses daughter, while her own father doesnt do a thing. Doesnt that bother you?
How can you call her someone elses? I thought Olivia was family to you. I thought you were better than that.
Theres no need for accusations. I could say plenty myself.
Its your choice. I wont go to my ex for help. If you wont give me money, Ill earn it myself. I wont lower myself. If youre done with responsibility, then I suppose we should just part ways.
Why such anger? Cant we talk it through?
No decision needs making. Im off to bed. Sleep wherever you like. Im not in the mood for any more.
That night I slept on the sofa, tossing and turning over our argument. I realised Id clashed with Sophies pride, and Olivia was suddenly at the heart of everything. As the girl grows older, so will the challengesand the bills. Her own dad is off living his life and doesnt care a jot. One afternoon, while tidying up, I found an old photo on Sophies laptop; her ex in a flashy car, dressed to the nines. Clearly, money wasnt the issue. He could easily support Olivia if Sophie allowed it, but her stubbornness stood in the way. I decided Id speak to him directly.
The lesson Ive taken from all this is simple: family isnt only about love, but also honesty and shared responsibility. Pride can make things harder than they need to befor everyone.
