Accommodating Grannies Eleanor Smith woke up to laughter. Not a quiet giggle or a polite chuckle, but a booming, irreverent guffaw, the kind that seemed wildly out of place in a hospital ward— the kind she’d never tolerated her whole life. The culprit was her bedmate, clutching a phone to her ear, gesticulating as if the person on the other end could actually see her. “Len, you’re unbelievable! Seriously? He said that in front of everyone?” Eleanor glanced at the clock: quarter to seven. Fifteen minutes until the official wake-up call— precious minutes that could have been spent in silence, composing herself before surgery. The night before, when Eleanor was wheeled into the ward, her roommate was already tapping away briskly on her phone. A brief exchange of “Good evening” and “Hello,” and then each woman retreated into her own thoughts. Eleanor had appreciated the silence. Now— this was a circus. “Excuse me,” she said, quietly but distinctly. “Could you keep it down?” The other woman turned. A round face, short-cropped greying hair, not even an attempt at dye, and a bold red polka-dot pyjama— in hospital, no less! “Oh, sorry, Len— I’ll call you back, someone’s giving me a telling-off,” she said into the phone. Turning to Eleanor with a smile, she added, “Sorry! I’m Cathy Johnson. Did you sleep all right? I never sleep before surgeries, so I’ll just ring everyone I know.” “Eleanor Smith. Just because you’re awake doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t need some rest.” “But you’re up now!” Cathy winked. “Promise, I’ll whisper. Cross my heart.” She did not whisper. By breakfast, she’d already managed two more calls— somehow even louder than before. Eleanor ostentatiously turned toward the wall and pulled the duvet over her head, but it was useless. “My daughter rang,” Cathy explained over the breakfast they both ignored—surgery day. “She’s worried, poor thing. I do my best to reassure her.” Eleanor said nothing. Her own son hadn’t called— though she couldn’t expect it, he’d warned her about a crucial morning meeting. That’s how she’d raised him: work comes first, it’s a responsibility. They took Cathy off to surgery first. She sashayed down the corridor, waving and shouting something to a laughing nurse. Eleanor found herself hoping they’d relocate her to another room after her own operation. An hour later, it was her own turn. She’d always struggled with anaesthesia, and woke up groggy, sick and sore. The nurse told her everything had gone well, she’d just have to be patient. She was patient— always had been. By evening, they brought her back. Cathy was already in her bed— ash-grey, eyes closed, drip in hand. Silent for the first time. “How are you?” Eleanor ventured, surprising herself. Cathy’s eyes flickered open. She smiled faintly. “Still here. You?” “Me too.” They sat in silence as dusk fell. Drips tinkled gently into silence. “Sorry about this morning,” Cathy said suddenly. “When I’m nervous, I just can’t stop talking. I know it’s irritating, but I can’t help it.” Eleanor meant to say something cutting, but found herself too tired. “It’s fine.” Neither woman slept that night. Both ached. Cathy didn’t call anyone, simply lay quietly, but Eleanor heard her shifting, sighing—maybe even crying, softly into her pillow. Next morning, the doctor did her rounds: checked stitches, took their temperatures, and congratulated both—“Well done, you’re recovering nicely.” Cathy immediately grabbed for her phone. “Len! Hi! I’m alive, don’t worry. How’s everyone? What, really, Kir’s got a temperature? Are you… what? Sorted now? See, I told you it wasn’t serious!” Eleanor couldn’t help listening. “Everyone” meant grandchildren, she realised. The daughter was reporting in. Her own mobile was silent. Just two texts from her son: “Mum, how’s it going?” and “Text when you’re able.” Both sent the previous evening, while she was out cold. She replied: “All fine.” Added a smiley. He liked smileys, said otherwise her messages sounded curt. Three hours later, his reply: “Great! Love you.” “Do yours visit?” Cathy asked that afternoon. “My son works. He lives far. There’s no need— I’m not a child.” “Right,” Cathy agreed. “My daughter always says the same— Mum, you’ll cope. No point visiting if you’re all right, right?” There was something in her voice that made Eleanor look more closely. Cathy was smiling, but her eyes weren’t cheerful. “How many grandchildren do you have?” “Three. Kieran’s the eldest, he’s eight. Then Maya and Leo, three and four— just a year apart.” Cathy pulled her phone from the drawer. “Wanna see photos?” They spent twenty minutes poring over photos— kids at the seaside, at the allotment, with birthday cakes. Cathy was in every snap, pulling faces, hugging, kissing. The daughter behind the camera—never in the shots. “My daughter doesn’t like being photographed.” “And are the grandkids with you a lot?” “I live with them, practically. My daughter works, her husband too— so I help. School run, check homework, cook tea.” Eleanor nodded. Much the same. She’d done it every day for the first years after her grandson was born. Then less often, as he grew. Now about once a month—if the diary aligned. “What about you?” “One grandson. Nine. Good at school, plays sports.” “Do you see him much?” “Sundays sometimes. They’re busy. I get it.” “Yeah,” Cathy turned to the window. “Busy.” Silence fell. Rain sprayed the glass. That evening Cathy said, “I don’t want to go home.” Eleanor looked up. Cathy was sitting with her knees to her chest, staring at the floor. “I really don’t. Been thinking about it all day, and I just don’t.” “Why?” “What for? I’ll go home, and Kieran’ll be behind on homework, Maya’ll have a cold, Leo will have ripped his jeans again. My daughter will work late, her husband’s always away. I’ll be washing, cooking, tidying, helping—and they won’t even…” she trailed off. “They don’t even say thank you. Because I’m just Gran— it’s what I’m meant to do.” Eleanor was silent. There was a lump rising in her throat. “Sorry,” Cathy wiped her eyes. “I’m falling apart.” “Don’t be sorry,” Eleanor said quietly. “I… I retired five years ago. Thought I’d finally do something for myself—go to the theatre, exhibitions. I even signed up for French classes. Lasted two weeks.” “What happened?” “My daughter-in-law went on maternity leave. Asked if I’d help. I mean, I’m Gran, not working any more—why not? I couldn’t say no.” “And?” “Three years, every day. Then nursery, so every other day. Now, with school, just once a week. Now… now they don’t really need me. They have a nanny. I just sit at home, waiting. If they remember.” Cathy nodded. “My daughter was meant to visit in November. To me—my house. I cleaned everywhere, baked pies. Then she rang—‘Mum, sorry, Kieran’s got football, can’t make it.’” “She didn’t come?” “No. I took the pies to my neighbour.” They sat quietly. Rain pattered the glass. “You know what’s the worst?” Cathy spoke after a long pause. “Not that they don’t visit. That I still wait. I clutch my phone, thinking maybe they’ll call, say they miss me. Just for me, not because they need something.” Eleanor’s nose prickled. “I wait, too. Every time the phone rings, I think my son just wants to chat. But he always wants something.” “But we always help,” Cathy smiled sadly. “Because we’re mums.” “Yeah.” The next day came dressings—painful for both. Afterwards, they lay silently, until Cathy said, “I always believed my family was happy. My daughter’s lovely, her husband nice, grandkids adored. That I was needed. That they couldn’t cope without me.” “And?” “And it’s only here I realised—they actually manage fine. My daughter hasn’t once mentioned struggling these four days. If anything, she sounds more energetic. She can manage. It’s just convenient—having Gran the free nanny.” Eleanor propped herself on her elbow. “I realised I’m to blame. I taught my son Mum will always help, always drop everything, will always wait. My plans weren’t important. His plans mattered most.” “I was the same. Drop everything, rush when my daughter calls.” “We taught them we don’t count,” Eleanor said slowly. “That we have no life of our own.” Cathy nodded, thoughtful. “So now what?” “I don’t know.” By day five, Eleanor got out of bed without help. By day six, she walked the ward’s length and back. Cathy trailed a day behind, but was determined. They walked together, leaning on the wall for support. “After my husband died, I was lost,” Cathy confided. “I thought life was over. My daughter said, ‘Mum, your new purpose is the grandkids. Live for them.’ So I did. But this purpose… it’s a one-way thing. I give, they take. They only notice if I’m useful.” Eleanor spoke about her divorce thirty years before. How she’d raised her son alone, went to night school, worked two jobs. “I thought if I was the perfect mother, he’d be the perfect son. That if I gave everything, he’d be grateful.” “But he grew up, lives his own life,” Cathy finished gently. “Yes. And maybe that’s normal. I just didn’t expect to feel so alone.” “I didn’t, either.” On day seven, Eleanor’s son showed up—unannounced. She was reading when he walked in, tall, in a posh coat, fruit in a carrier bag. “Mum! How are you? On the mend?” “Getting there.” “Great! Doctor says you’ll be discharged in three days. I thought—you could come to ours? Olesya says the guest room’s free.” “Thanks, but I’ll be better at home.” “If you’re sure. But call—if you need anything. We’ll be there.” He stayed twenty minutes. Talked about work, the grandson, his new car. Asked if she needed money. Promised to visit next week. Left quickly, with a sense of relief. Cathy lay pretending to sleep. Once the door shut, she opened her eyes. “That was your son?” “Yes.” “He’s handsome.” “Yes.” “And cold as ice.” Eleanor didn’t reply. Her throat tightened so much she could hardly breathe. “You know,” Cathy said softly, “I’ve been thinking… Maybe we just need to stop expecting their love. Just… let go. They’ve grown up, they have their own lives. We need to find ours.” “Easier said than done.” “Harder to do. But what other choice do we have? Or we’ll sit here forever, waiting for them to remember us.” “What did you say to them?” Eleanor asked suddenly, shocking herself by using “you” instead of “Mrs.” “To my daughter? Said after discharge, I need a couple of weeks to rest. Doctor’s orders. Can’t help with the grandkids.” “And she?” “At first, she was furious. I just said, ‘Len, you’re a grown-up—sort it yourself. I can’t for now.’” “She’s annoyed?” “And how!” Cathy grinned. “But you know, it’s a relief. Like I shrugged off something heavy.” Eleanor closed her eyes. “I’m scared. If I say no, if I refuse, they’ll be hurt. They might stop calling altogether.” “Do they call much now?” Silence. “Well, then. Can it get any worse? Maybe it’ll get better.” Day eight—discharged together. They packed in silence, as if parting forever. “Let’s swap numbers,” Cathy suggested. Eleanor nodded. They entered numbers into their mobiles. Stood facing each other. “Thank you,” Eleanor said. “For being here.” “No, thank you. I haven’t had a conversation like this in thirty years.” “Me neither.” They hugged, careful of their stitches. The nurse brought the discharge forms, called the taxis. Eleanor left first. Home was quiet. She unpacked, showered, lay down on the sofa. Three texts from her son: “Mum, are you out?” “Call when you’re home,” “Don’t forget your pills.” She replied, “Home. All good.” Put the phone down. She got up, found a folder she hadn’t opened in five years. Inside: a French class brochure, and a printout of theatre showtimes. She stared at them. The phone rang—Cathy. “Hi. Sorry it’s so soon. I just… wanted to call.” “I’m glad. Truly glad.” “How about we meet up, once we’re both stronger? A little café, or a walk. If you’d like, of course.” Eleanor looked at the brochure, then at her phone. Then back to the brochure. “I’d like that. In fact, let’s not wait two weeks. Saturday, maybe? I’m tired of lying around.” “Saturday? Really? The doctors said—” “They did. But I’ve been putting everyone first for thirty years. Time to put myself first.” “Deal. Saturday.” They said goodbye. Eleanor picked up the brochure. French classes started in a month—registration still open. She opened her laptop, began filling in the form. Her hands trembled, but she completed it. All the way to the end. Rain fell outside, but through the clouds, the sun shone—pale and autumnal, but sun nonetheless. And for the first time, Eleanor thought life might just be beginning again. She sent the application.

Convenient Grannies

Margaret Collins woke up to laughter. Not a quiet laugh, nor a muffled giggle, but a booming, rather unseemly cackle for a hospital wardexactly the sort of sound that had made her bristle all her life. The laughter belonged to her bed neighbour, who was clutching her mobile to her ear, waving her free arm around as if her caller could see every gesture.

Lynn, youre a riot! No, honestly, he actually said that? Out loud? In front of everyone?

Margaret glanced at her watch. Quarter to seven in the morning. Still fifteen minutes till they were supposed to get upfifteen minutes that could have been spent in peace, collecting her thoughts before her surgery.

The night before, when she was first wheeled into the ward, her neighbour was already in bed, tapping rapidly at her phone. Theyd barely exchanged greetingsGood evening, Hellothen retreated into their own thoughts. Margaret had been grateful for the silence. And nowthis circus.

Excuse me, she said quietly but firmly. Would you mind keeping it down?

The woman turned. Her face was round, hair cropped tight and left defiantly grey, bright pyjamas dotted with big red spotseven in a hospital!

Oh, Lynn, Ill call you back. Im getting told off, she said into the phone, then turned to Margaret with a grin, Sorry! Im Patricia Green. Did you sleep all right? I never manage a wink before an operation, so I end up ringing everyone under the sun.

Margaret Collins. And just because youre up doesnt mean everyone else wants to be.

But youre up now, Patricia winked. Ill whisper. Promise.

She didnt, of course. By breakfast, shed called two more people, and if anything, her voice got even louder. Margaret ostentatiously rolled away towards the wall, pulling her blanket up over her head. Didnt help.

My daughter called, Patricia explained over the untouched breakfast, Worried sick about the op. Bless her. I keep trying to reassure her, you know?

Margaret kept quiet. Her own son hadnt called. Hed warned her ahead of time: important meeting first thing. Shed raised him herself: work is important, work always comes first.

Patricia was taken for surgery first. She waved down the hallway in goodbye, shouting something to the nurse, who only laughed. Margaret thought how nice it would be if they moved Patricia to a different ward after they were both done.

She herself was taken an hour later. The anaesthetic never agreed with her. She came round feeling nauseous and sore down her right side. The nurse told her it had all gone well, just to hang in there. Margaret could hang in. Shed spent her whole life hanging in.

That evening, once she was wheeled back in, Patricia was already in her bed, face ashen, eyes shut, a drip attached to her arm. Silent. For the first time, really silent.

How are you? Margaret found herself asking, though shed meant not to start a conversation.

Patricia opened her eyes and managed a weak smile.
Still breathing. You?

The same.

They fell silent together. Dusk was creeping in at the window, IVs ticking away.

Sorry about this morning, Patricia said softly. Whenever Im anxious, I just cant stop nattering. I know its annoying, but I cant help myself.

Margaret wanted to say something biting but was too drained. Instead, she managed, Its all right.

That night, neither slept. Both were in pain. Patricia didnt make a single call, lying quiet, but Margaret could hear her rustling and sighing. Once, it seemed, she was cryingvery quietly, into her pillow.

In the morning the doctor arrived, checked dressings, took temperatures, pronounced both of them doing brilliantly. Patricia instantly reached for her phone.

Lynn! Im alive, honestly, nothing to worry about. How are the kids? What? Kieran had a bit of a temp? But hes better now? Didnt I tell you, nothing to panic about.

Margaret couldnt help but listen. The kidsmust mean grandchildren. Daughter reporting in.

Her own mobile was silent. She checked ittwo texts from her son, yesterday evening while she was still groggy: Mum, hows it gone? and Text when youre able. She typed back, All fine. Added a smiley face. Her son always insisted on emojissaid otherwise, everything looked cold.

Three hours later came his reply: Fantastic! Love you.

Dont your lot come to visit? Patricia asked that afternoon.

My sons busy. Lives quite far. Anyway, theres no needIm not a child.

Youre right, Patricia agreed. Same heremy daughter goes, Mum, you can manage, youre grown-up. Why come if nothings wrong, really?

Something in Patricias voice made Margaret look at her. Patricia smiled but her eyes didnt join in.

How many grandkids have you got?

Three. Kierans eldest, eight. Then Molly and Leothree and four. Want to see photos? Patricia rummaged for her phone.

She showed off pictures for nearly twenty minutes. Kids at the coast, kids in the garden, kids blowing the candles out. In every single photo, Patricia was right therehugging, kissing, pulling funny faces. Her daughter wasnt in a single one.

Shes always behind the camera, Patricia explained. Hates being photographed.

Do they come round much?

I practically live with them. Daughters at work, son-in-laws flat-out, so I… help out. School runs, homework, tea, you know?

Margaret nodded. It sounded achingly familiar. For the first few years after her grandson was born, she helped daily too. Then her grandson grew; she visited less often. Now, maybe once a month, on Sundays, if plans lined up.

And you?

One grandson. Nine. Does well at school, plays football.

See him often?

Sometimes on Sundays. Theyre busy. I get it.

Yeah, Patricia turned to the window. Busy.

They sat in silence, listening to the soft drizzle outside.

That evening Patricia said, I dont want to go home.

Margaret looked up. Patricia sat on her bed, arms wrapped round her knees, staring at the floor.

I really dont. The more I think about it, the less I want to.

Why?

What for? Ill turn up, and Kieran will be behind on his homework; Molly has a cold, Leos ripped his trousers again. My daughters working late, son-in-laws away half the time. Ill be washing, cooking, minding the grandkids. And they dont evennot even a thank you. Because its just what a grans meant to do.

Margaret said nothing. There was a lump in her throat.

Sorry, Patricia wiped her eyes. Bit pathetic, really.

Dont apologise, Margaret replied quietly. I retired five years ago. Thought Id finally do something for myself. Go to the theatre, see some exhibitions. Even signed up for a French course. Lasted two weeks.

And?

My daughter-in-law went on maternity leave. Asked for help. Youre a gran, youre not working, its not hard for you. I couldnt say no.

How did it go?

Three yearsevery day. Then nurseryso every other day. Then schoolonce a week. Now… now they barely need me. Got a nanny. I just sit at home, waiting for them to callif they dont forget.

Patricia nodded.

My daughter was meant to visit last November. I cleaned the house from top to bottom, baked pies. She called: Mum, sorry, Kierans got football, cant make it.

Didnt come?

Didnt come. Gave the pies to the neighbours.

They sat quietly again, the rain pattering on the glass.

You know what stings? Patricia finally said. Its not that they dont come. Its that I still wait. I sit with the phone, thinkingmaybe this time theyll ring just to say they miss me. For no reason at all.

Margaret felt her nose prickle.

I do the same. Every time the phone rings, I hope my sons just calling for a chat. But no. Its always for something practical.

And we always step in, Patricia gave a wry smile. Because thats what mums do.

The next day was for dressing changes. Both felt sore. Lying quietly, Patricia spoke up:

I always believed I had a happy family. Daughter I adored, kind son-in-law, grandkids the joy of my life. That I was needed. That they couldnt manage without me.

And now?

And now, lying here, Ive realised they manage perfectly well. In four days, never once has my daughter moaned about it being hard. She sounds chirpy, in fact. Means they can cope. Having a granbuilt-in, free childminderjust makes things easier.

Margaret sat up a little.

I think Ive done this to myself. Ive taught my son that Ill always help, always drop everything, always be there on call. That my plans dont matter, his do.

I did exactly the same, Patricia agreed. Daughter calls, I drop everything and race over.

We taught them were not our own people, Margaret said slowly. That we have no life of our own.

Patricia nodded, silent for a moment. So, now what?

I havent a clue.

By the fifth day, Margaret could stand up unassisted. By the sixth, she managed the length of the corridor and back. Patricia trailed by a day, but kept pace doggedly. They shuffled along the corridor together.

After my husband died, I felt so lost, Patricia confided. Thought life was over, but my daughter said, Mum, now you have a new purposethe grandchildren! So I lived for them. Only, its all one-wayyou give, they take. For them, Im there when its convenient.

Margaret told her about her divorce. Thirty years earlier, when her son was five. How she raised him alone, studied at night, worked two jobs.

I thought if I could be a perfect mum, hed be a perfect son. That if I gave everything, hed be thankful.

And he grew up, got on with his life, Patricia finished.

Yes. And thats normal, probably. I just didnt expect to feel so lonely.

Nor did I.

On the seventh day, her son came to visit, unannounced. Margaret was sitting reading when he appeared in the doorwaytall, in an expensive overcoat, holding a bag of fruit.

Hi Mum! he said with a grin, kissing her forehead. How are you feeling? Better?

Much better.

Great! The doctor said youll be home in three days. Thought maybe youd come stay with us? Lisa said the guest rooms empty.

Thank you, but Id rather be at home.

Sure, up to you. But call if you need a lift.

He stayed twenty minutes, talked about work, her grandson, and his new car, asked if she needed any money, promised hed pop by in a weekand left as quickly as hed come, relief written all over his face.

Patricia lay on her bed pretending to sleep. Once the door clicked shut, she finally opened her eyes.

Yours?

Mine.

Handsome chap.

Yes.

Cold as ice, though.

Margaret didnt answer. Her throat felt tight.

You know, Patricia murmured, maybe its time we stopped waiting for them to give us love. Just… let go. Understand theyve got their lives, and we need to find ours.

Easier said than done.

Hard to do, but what else is there? Or else well just sit here waiting for them to remember us.

What did you say to them? Margaret asked suddenly, using you informally for the first time.

To my daughter? Told her the doctor said I need two weeks rest when Im out. No lifting, no helping with the kids.

And she?

First, she kicked up a fuss. I said, Lynn, youre an adult, youll manage. I just cant right now.

Did she get upset?

Oh, furious, Patricia chuckled. But you know what? I felt lighterlike someone took a huge weight off my chest.

Margaret shut her eyes.

Im scared. If I say no, if I refuse, theyll be offended. Might stop calling altogether.

Do they call often now?

Silence.

There you go. Cant get much worse. Might as well try getting better.

On the eighth day, they were both discharged, at the same time. They packed silently, as though saying goodbye forever.

Lets swap numbers, Patricia suggested.

Margaret nodded. They entered each others numbers. Stood, hesitating.

Thanks, Margaret said. For being here.

And thank you. You know, I havent had a real heart-to-heart in thirty years. Not like this.

Me neither.

They hugged, awkwardly, careful of stitches. The nurse brought discharge papers, called a taxi. Margaret left first.

Her house was still and empty. She unpacked, took a shower, lay down on the sofa. Checked her phone. Three messages from her son. Mum, you home yet? Ring when youre back, Dont forget your tablets.

She wrote back, Home now. All good. Put the phone down.

She got up, opened the cupboard, pulled out a folder untouched for five years. Brochure for French courses, printed list of concert dates at the Town Hall. She stared at the brochure, thinking.

Her phone rang. Patricia.

Hi! Sorry to call so soon. Just… felt like it.

Im glad. Really glad.

How about we meet up? When were stronger. In a week or so. Café, or just walk somewhere. If youre up for it?

Margaret looked at the brochure in her hands, back at the phone, back again.

Id love that. To be honest, how about Saturday? Im already tired of sitting at home.

Saturday? Really? The doctor said

I know what they said. But Ive spent thirty years looking after everyone else. Its time to think about myself now.

Deal. Saturday it is.

They said goodbye. Margaret set her phone down, picked up the brochure again. French classes started in a month. Enrolment was still open.

She grabbed her laptop, hands shaking a little, and began filling in the application form. She did it, right to the end.

Outside it was raining, but through the clouds, the sun was peeking throughweak, autumn sun, but sun all the same.

And thats when I realisedmaybe my life is only just beginning. I sent off my enrolment, and promised myself: from now on, I come first, too.

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Accommodating Grannies Eleanor Smith woke up to laughter. Not a quiet giggle or a polite chuckle, but a booming, irreverent guffaw, the kind that seemed wildly out of place in a hospital ward— the kind she’d never tolerated her whole life. The culprit was her bedmate, clutching a phone to her ear, gesticulating as if the person on the other end could actually see her. “Len, you’re unbelievable! Seriously? He said that in front of everyone?” Eleanor glanced at the clock: quarter to seven. Fifteen minutes until the official wake-up call— precious minutes that could have been spent in silence, composing herself before surgery. The night before, when Eleanor was wheeled into the ward, her roommate was already tapping away briskly on her phone. A brief exchange of “Good evening” and “Hello,” and then each woman retreated into her own thoughts. Eleanor had appreciated the silence. Now— this was a circus. “Excuse me,” she said, quietly but distinctly. “Could you keep it down?” The other woman turned. A round face, short-cropped greying hair, not even an attempt at dye, and a bold red polka-dot pyjama— in hospital, no less! “Oh, sorry, Len— I’ll call you back, someone’s giving me a telling-off,” she said into the phone. Turning to Eleanor with a smile, she added, “Sorry! I’m Cathy Johnson. Did you sleep all right? I never sleep before surgeries, so I’ll just ring everyone I know.” “Eleanor Smith. Just because you’re awake doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t need some rest.” “But you’re up now!” Cathy winked. “Promise, I’ll whisper. Cross my heart.” She did not whisper. By breakfast, she’d already managed two more calls— somehow even louder than before. Eleanor ostentatiously turned toward the wall and pulled the duvet over her head, but it was useless. “My daughter rang,” Cathy explained over the breakfast they both ignored—surgery day. “She’s worried, poor thing. I do my best to reassure her.” Eleanor said nothing. Her own son hadn’t called— though she couldn’t expect it, he’d warned her about a crucial morning meeting. That’s how she’d raised him: work comes first, it’s a responsibility. They took Cathy off to surgery first. She sashayed down the corridor, waving and shouting something to a laughing nurse. Eleanor found herself hoping they’d relocate her to another room after her own operation. An hour later, it was her own turn. She’d always struggled with anaesthesia, and woke up groggy, sick and sore. The nurse told her everything had gone well, she’d just have to be patient. She was patient— always had been. By evening, they brought her back. Cathy was already in her bed— ash-grey, eyes closed, drip in hand. Silent for the first time. “How are you?” Eleanor ventured, surprising herself. Cathy’s eyes flickered open. She smiled faintly. “Still here. You?” “Me too.” They sat in silence as dusk fell. Drips tinkled gently into silence. “Sorry about this morning,” Cathy said suddenly. “When I’m nervous, I just can’t stop talking. I know it’s irritating, but I can’t help it.” Eleanor meant to say something cutting, but found herself too tired. “It’s fine.” Neither woman slept that night. Both ached. Cathy didn’t call anyone, simply lay quietly, but Eleanor heard her shifting, sighing—maybe even crying, softly into her pillow. Next morning, the doctor did her rounds: checked stitches, took their temperatures, and congratulated both—“Well done, you’re recovering nicely.” Cathy immediately grabbed for her phone. “Len! Hi! I’m alive, don’t worry. How’s everyone? What, really, Kir’s got a temperature? Are you… what? Sorted now? See, I told you it wasn’t serious!” Eleanor couldn’t help listening. “Everyone” meant grandchildren, she realised. The daughter was reporting in. Her own mobile was silent. Just two texts from her son: “Mum, how’s it going?” and “Text when you’re able.” Both sent the previous evening, while she was out cold. She replied: “All fine.” Added a smiley. He liked smileys, said otherwise her messages sounded curt. Three hours later, his reply: “Great! Love you.” “Do yours visit?” Cathy asked that afternoon. “My son works. He lives far. There’s no need— I’m not a child.” “Right,” Cathy agreed. “My daughter always says the same— Mum, you’ll cope. No point visiting if you’re all right, right?” There was something in her voice that made Eleanor look more closely. Cathy was smiling, but her eyes weren’t cheerful. “How many grandchildren do you have?” “Three. Kieran’s the eldest, he’s eight. Then Maya and Leo, three and four— just a year apart.” Cathy pulled her phone from the drawer. “Wanna see photos?” They spent twenty minutes poring over photos— kids at the seaside, at the allotment, with birthday cakes. Cathy was in every snap, pulling faces, hugging, kissing. The daughter behind the camera—never in the shots. “My daughter doesn’t like being photographed.” “And are the grandkids with you a lot?” “I live with them, practically. My daughter works, her husband too— so I help. School run, check homework, cook tea.” Eleanor nodded. Much the same. She’d done it every day for the first years after her grandson was born. Then less often, as he grew. Now about once a month—if the diary aligned. “What about you?” “One grandson. Nine. Good at school, plays sports.” “Do you see him much?” “Sundays sometimes. They’re busy. I get it.” “Yeah,” Cathy turned to the window. “Busy.” Silence fell. Rain sprayed the glass. That evening Cathy said, “I don’t want to go home.” Eleanor looked up. Cathy was sitting with her knees to her chest, staring at the floor. “I really don’t. Been thinking about it all day, and I just don’t.” “Why?” “What for? I’ll go home, and Kieran’ll be behind on homework, Maya’ll have a cold, Leo will have ripped his jeans again. My daughter will work late, her husband’s always away. I’ll be washing, cooking, tidying, helping—and they won’t even…” she trailed off. “They don’t even say thank you. Because I’m just Gran— it’s what I’m meant to do.” Eleanor was silent. There was a lump rising in her throat. “Sorry,” Cathy wiped her eyes. “I’m falling apart.” “Don’t be sorry,” Eleanor said quietly. “I… I retired five years ago. Thought I’d finally do something for myself—go to the theatre, exhibitions. I even signed up for French classes. Lasted two weeks.” “What happened?” “My daughter-in-law went on maternity leave. Asked if I’d help. I mean, I’m Gran, not working any more—why not? I couldn’t say no.” “And?” “Three years, every day. Then nursery, so every other day. Now, with school, just once a week. Now… now they don’t really need me. They have a nanny. I just sit at home, waiting. If they remember.” Cathy nodded. “My daughter was meant to visit in November. To me—my house. I cleaned everywhere, baked pies. Then she rang—‘Mum, sorry, Kieran’s got football, can’t make it.’” “She didn’t come?” “No. I took the pies to my neighbour.” They sat quietly. Rain pattered the glass. “You know what’s the worst?” Cathy spoke after a long pause. “Not that they don’t visit. That I still wait. I clutch my phone, thinking maybe they’ll call, say they miss me. Just for me, not because they need something.” Eleanor’s nose prickled. “I wait, too. Every time the phone rings, I think my son just wants to chat. But he always wants something.” “But we always help,” Cathy smiled sadly. “Because we’re mums.” “Yeah.” The next day came dressings—painful for both. Afterwards, they lay silently, until Cathy said, “I always believed my family was happy. My daughter’s lovely, her husband nice, grandkids adored. That I was needed. That they couldn’t cope without me.” “And?” “And it’s only here I realised—they actually manage fine. My daughter hasn’t once mentioned struggling these four days. If anything, she sounds more energetic. She can manage. It’s just convenient—having Gran the free nanny.” Eleanor propped herself on her elbow. “I realised I’m to blame. I taught my son Mum will always help, always drop everything, will always wait. My plans weren’t important. His plans mattered most.” “I was the same. Drop everything, rush when my daughter calls.” “We taught them we don’t count,” Eleanor said slowly. “That we have no life of our own.” Cathy nodded, thoughtful. “So now what?” “I don’t know.” By day five, Eleanor got out of bed without help. By day six, she walked the ward’s length and back. Cathy trailed a day behind, but was determined. They walked together, leaning on the wall for support. “After my husband died, I was lost,” Cathy confided. “I thought life was over. My daughter said, ‘Mum, your new purpose is the grandkids. Live for them.’ So I did. But this purpose… it’s a one-way thing. I give, they take. They only notice if I’m useful.” Eleanor spoke about her divorce thirty years before. How she’d raised her son alone, went to night school, worked two jobs. “I thought if I was the perfect mother, he’d be the perfect son. That if I gave everything, he’d be grateful.” “But he grew up, lives his own life,” Cathy finished gently. “Yes. And maybe that’s normal. I just didn’t expect to feel so alone.” “I didn’t, either.” On day seven, Eleanor’s son showed up—unannounced. She was reading when he walked in, tall, in a posh coat, fruit in a carrier bag. “Mum! How are you? On the mend?” “Getting there.” “Great! Doctor says you’ll be discharged in three days. I thought—you could come to ours? Olesya says the guest room’s free.” “Thanks, but I’ll be better at home.” “If you’re sure. But call—if you need anything. We’ll be there.” He stayed twenty minutes. Talked about work, the grandson, his new car. Asked if she needed money. Promised to visit next week. Left quickly, with a sense of relief. Cathy lay pretending to sleep. Once the door shut, she opened her eyes. “That was your son?” “Yes.” “He’s handsome.” “Yes.” “And cold as ice.” Eleanor didn’t reply. Her throat tightened so much she could hardly breathe. “You know,” Cathy said softly, “I’ve been thinking… Maybe we just need to stop expecting their love. Just… let go. They’ve grown up, they have their own lives. We need to find ours.” “Easier said than done.” “Harder to do. But what other choice do we have? Or we’ll sit here forever, waiting for them to remember us.” “What did you say to them?” Eleanor asked suddenly, shocking herself by using “you” instead of “Mrs.” “To my daughter? Said after discharge, I need a couple of weeks to rest. Doctor’s orders. Can’t help with the grandkids.” “And she?” “At first, she was furious. I just said, ‘Len, you’re a grown-up—sort it yourself. I can’t for now.’” “She’s annoyed?” “And how!” Cathy grinned. “But you know, it’s a relief. Like I shrugged off something heavy.” Eleanor closed her eyes. “I’m scared. If I say no, if I refuse, they’ll be hurt. They might stop calling altogether.” “Do they call much now?” Silence. “Well, then. Can it get any worse? Maybe it’ll get better.” Day eight—discharged together. They packed in silence, as if parting forever. “Let’s swap numbers,” Cathy suggested. Eleanor nodded. They entered numbers into their mobiles. Stood facing each other. “Thank you,” Eleanor said. “For being here.” “No, thank you. I haven’t had a conversation like this in thirty years.” “Me neither.” They hugged, careful of their stitches. The nurse brought the discharge forms, called the taxis. Eleanor left first. Home was quiet. She unpacked, showered, lay down on the sofa. Three texts from her son: “Mum, are you out?” “Call when you’re home,” “Don’t forget your pills.” She replied, “Home. All good.” Put the phone down. She got up, found a folder she hadn’t opened in five years. Inside: a French class brochure, and a printout of theatre showtimes. She stared at them. The phone rang—Cathy. “Hi. Sorry it’s so soon. I just… wanted to call.” “I’m glad. Truly glad.” “How about we meet up, once we’re both stronger? A little café, or a walk. If you’d like, of course.” Eleanor looked at the brochure, then at her phone. Then back to the brochure. “I’d like that. In fact, let’s not wait two weeks. Saturday, maybe? I’m tired of lying around.” “Saturday? Really? The doctors said—” “They did. But I’ve been putting everyone first for thirty years. Time to put myself first.” “Deal. Saturday.” They said goodbye. Eleanor picked up the brochure. French classes started in a month—registration still open. She opened her laptop, began filling in the form. Her hands trembled, but she completed it. All the way to the end. Rain fell outside, but through the clouds, the sun shone—pale and autumnal, but sun nonetheless. And for the first time, Eleanor thought life might just be beginning again. She sent the application.