Sophie was in her final year at university when she found herself with a bun in the oven. She didnt immediately break the news to her boyfriend, and he only caught wind of the whole affair when she was already five months along.
Why didnt you say anything? You know Im old-fashionedI always said we shouldnt start a family until after graduation, once weve got our lives together, complained Tom.
Its alright, Sophie replied breezily. Ive always said that academic life isnt really for me. Id much rather have a big family.
Tom was so furious he lobbed the paperback he was reading straight at her. Well manage somehow. We can move into your grans flat, send your gran off to keep herself busy, and start our own little tribe, Sophie continued, her optimism unfazed. Then another one! But first, a weddingwith all the trimmingsas soon as possible.
Can you hear yourself?! All this time youve been pretending to be all sweetness and light, Tom muttered, storming to pack his duffel bag. Why are you leaving me? You have to marry me! If you walk out now, Ill tell everyone at the uni how youve stitched me up!
No way am I living here with you. Try being on your own for a monthdo what you like after that! Tom snapped back. When the babys born, well sort out a paternity test, and Ill pay child maintenance!
Fast-forward a decade: Tom was stuck at a desk in a dreary office. The departmental head had somehow learned he had a son.
Tom, do you ever see your lad? the boss enquired over his glasses.
Not really. I dont actually know him, Tom replied, a little sheepishly.
Later on, Tom thought it would make a good cautionary tale for his new crop of interns. So you left her alone with the baby? they gasped.
I didnt leave her up a creek! Tom protested. I sent money!
She said you only ever gave her a single quid, one intern interjected.
Fine! And the boy got a clip round the ear too, the boss added dryly.
Tom still fumedhed warned Sophie, after all. This time, he did things by the book, only doling out child support based on his official salarymuch less than what hed forked out before.
Sophie was now happily married for a year (though, according to Tom, her kid had turned out to be a right little mischief-makerjust like his mum).
