An entire year spent handing money to my children just to cover their loan! Not a penny more from me!
My wife and I have only one child, a grown son. Hes started his own family, making us grandparents at last.
I grew up during the post-war years in England, got married at thirty. In those days, people looked at me as though Id left it far too latepractically thought of as a confirmed bachelor. There was a lot of pressure to settle down and raise a family back then. Not having children was almost as scandalous as having some dreadful illness.
Well, my wife and I had our son, and we decided that one child was quite enough. Being educated, we knew just how expensive bringing up children can be. The more children you have, the more youve got to fork out, obviously.
It wasnt for nothing we chose to stop at one. Because of that, we were able to give our son a good upbringing and education, and sort ourselves out too.
Turns out, my son has very different ideas. Not long after he married Emily, she became pregnant, and soon we had our first grandson. The young couple didnt have a place of their own, so they took out a mortgage. Somehow, they managed the payments each month. Then, I found out Emily was expecting again. Naturally, I asked how they planned to provide for two children while still paying off the loan on their flat. They got upset and insisted theyd manage, so I told them fair enough, lets see how you get on then.
For a while, they coped. But then, Emily had to stop working, and my son got made redundant. What could they do? They asked if they could move into our flat, which wed been renting out. My wife said we ought to help them pay their mortgage, so for a whole year, we covered their payments. I truly believed we were doing the right thing helping them out. I had no idea what was really going on.
Just recently, I found out the mortgage is still in arrearssix months behind. Where on earth did the money go? My wife is furious; she says she hasnt the strength for this anymore. For my part, Im stunned. I barely know what to say or do. I tried to support the children, but it appears theyve just rested on their laurels and done nothing to help themselves. So, what now?
Looking back, Ive learned that offering help is one thing, but blind generosity can end up backfiring. Sometimes, too much support only makes things worse for everyone involved.
