The wedding was set for the following week when she told me she didnt want to marry after all. Everything was already paid forthe venue, the paperwork, the rings, even part of the family celebration. For months Id been arranging every detail.
Throughout our relationship I truly believed I was doing the right thing. I held down a full-time job, and each month I put aside about 20% of my wage for herfor the hairdresser, a manicure, or whatever she fancied. Not because she didnt workshe had her own income, which she used as she liked. But I covered the expenses because I felt, as her partner, as a man, it was my responsibility. I never once asked her to pay her share of the bills. I always picked up the tab when we went outto restaurants, the cinema, weekend tripseverything.
A year before the wedding, I did something bigI suggested we take her whole family to the seaside. Not only her parents and brothers, but her nieces and nephews too, even a couple of cousins. There were so many of us. To afford it, I took on extra shifts, stopped buying things for myself, saved every penny for months. When the time came, I paid for everything: accommodation, travel, mealsthe lot. She seemed happy, and her family were grateful. No one imagined that to her, it meant nothing.
When she told me she wanted to break up, she explained I had been too much. That I wanted too much affection, too much attention, too much closeness. That I wanted to hold her, to text her, to know how she was. That she wasnt like that, that shed always been more distant, and that Id stifled her. That I expected things she couldnt give.
She told me something shed never once mentioned beforeshe truly never wanted to marry. Shed accepted my proposal because I had pressed her too much. By involving her parents, Id put her in a difficult position. I had proposed in a restaurant, in front of her family. To me, that was a beautiful gesture; to her, a trap. She said she couldnt refuse me in front of everyone.
Five days before the registry office ceremony, with everything arranged, she chose to be honest. She explained shed felt as if I was imposing a life on her that she hadnt chosen. That Id done too much for her, which made her feel uncomfortable, obliged, tied down. She would rather leave than go through with something that wasnt truly hers.
After that conversation, she left. There were no raised voices, no apologies, no attempt to patch things up. Only paperwork left behind, bills already paid, plans madeand a wedding cancelled. She stood firm in her decision. And thats where it all ended.
It was that week I came to realise that being the man who pays for everything, who sorts everything out, who is always thereit doesnt mean someone will want to stay.
