A Step from the Altar
Violet gazed into her bedroom mirror, unable to tear her eyes away from her own reflection, shifting slowly left and right as the image smiled back at her. The dressher wedding gownflowed like milk down her figure, the full skirt gently swaying with each delicate turn. Every now and again shed lift a rustling hem, drop it, and imagine herself gliding up the aisle under a high-pitched church ceiling, as if her feet barely touched the flagstones.
Ellie, her elder sister, suddenly filled the doorway, arms crossed with the sort of amused, slightly knowing look that older sisters perfect by thirty.
Youre beautiful, Vi, she finally said, unable to contain a small laugh. But youll want a second dress, no question. Honestly, a whole day and night in that? Picture itbanquet, dancing, guests milling about and you trapped inside some great cloud of taffeta that wont let you move!
Violet froze, eyes narrowed at her own silhouette. Was Ellie right? How had that never even crossed her mind? The dressit was the one for the ceremony and the photos, exactly as shed always dreamt: exquisite, imperious, truly bridal. But for dancing, for giggling the night away among friends and family? Something simpler, surely. Something white and light, perhaps with a swishy knee-length skirt you could whirl in without tripping.
You reckon? Violet asked, lifting the skirt to scrutinise its volume, uncertainty creeping across her brow. Alright. Help me find one, will you?
Of course I will, Ellie beamed, her tone so chasingly confident. You, on your own? Youd spend all day dithering in some shop, get overwhelmed, and end up with nothing. Im honestly surprised you managed to buy this one!
Violet shrugged, shy all of a sudden. I had it made. Sent the sketch and a seamstress did the rest. If Id set foot in one of those wedding boutiques, Id probably never have left. Theres too much to choose! My eyes wouldve spun out of my head.
She stepped away from the mirror and perched on the bed, looking up at her sister with hope in her eyes.
Are you free tomorrow? Come shopping with me? Without you Ill make a mess of it.
Ellie closed in, smoothing imaginary pleats from the pristine fabric, a glow in her smile. Everything else can wait for you. My darling little sister doesnt get married every day. Well hunt for that perfect dance dress!
********************
Violet sat at the kitchen table, encircled by little snowdrifts of wedding invitations. Outside, the evening pressed in, heavy with indigo, while the table lamp cast its steady pool of light over endless envelopes and cardstock. She bent over each invitation, signing every single guests name in careful, looping letteringno generic printing for Violet. Her day had to be handmade, in every possible sense.
Her mother and sister had tried to share the load, but Violet had insisted, Its my weddingIve got to do something myself!
Nearly there, nearly there, she muttered, turning another card over, fingers cramped from hours of script. How can my hand ache this much? I barely write at all, these days
Ellie lingered in the doorway, then wandered in and flopped into the chair opposite, legs crossed, a gentle smile flickering in the lamps golden glow as she watched her little sisterthe little sister soon to wear white.
Are you quite sure you dont want a hand? Ellie offered, leaning forward, eyes flicking over the growing stack. Theres tons left! Why isnt Harry helping, anyway? Half the guests are his mob.
Violet dropped her pen in relief and flexed her stiffening fingers, grateful for the pause. Hes snowed under at work, she breathed, patting the invitations. He wants to clear his desk before our honeymoon. You know what its likeif you dont tie up loose ends, you cant relax. Hes doing his best.
She smiled, faraway. Were slipping off as soon as the weddings done. Somewhere warm and quiet. I want us to begin life together fresh and light, well away from all the rush.
Still, he could spare a moment to scrawl his name on a few envelopes, Ellie said, unable to keep her tone even.
Ellies unease about the upcoming marriage had always been close to the surface. From the very start, Harry struck her as somehow insincere? But Violet glimmered in his presence, seeing only the best, only the promise.
Perhaps it was me, Ellie thought, fussing out of habit. Maybe Harry was just private. Not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve as I do. Maybe he was simply contained by nature.
Yet the misgivings festered. She saw it whenever she glanced at Harrythe sense that he wasnt truly registering the magnitude of what approached, or perhaps he simply didnt want to. Sometimes in the middle of conversation about their future, hed… drift, gaze gone vague, as if he were only just tolerating the tide sweeping him along.
The irony was that Harry had been the first to speak of marriage, even though theyd been together less than three monthsa fleeting span for such a pivotal decision. Yet he pitched into planning with eager hands.
I want it to be a day youll remember forever, he told Violet, laying out pictures of floral arrangements, soft pastels and armfuls of real blooms. His voice and smile, at first glance, brimming with warmth. Look at this styleso peaceful, so romantic This will be unforgettable.
Hed chosen the venue, argued for a big guest list, insisting family from across the country mustnt feel slighted.
My lot are set to travel from one end of England to the other to see history made, hed say, scrolling through his guest spreadsheet. We cant have a pared-down celebration, not a wedding!
Violet listened, enraptured, envisioning their day in gleaming detail. She missed the odd dissolving smile, the glimmer of nonchalance that sometimes overtook him as forever came up.
Ellie watched all this, torn between relief that Harry was taking charge and the prickly sense that he was performing, playing the part of perfect fiancé, without having deciphered quite why.
Or maybe its just pre-wedding nerves? she struggled to reassure herself. Weddings are daunting after all. But the feeling wouldnt die. Why cant I shake the conviction that somethings amiss?
She looked at Violet, enthralled by swathes of silk and ribbon, and sighed. For now, her sister deserved happinessand perhaps, in good time, the truth would show itself.
***********************
Violet took comfort in how well things were proceeding. Harry had taken charge of the major spending, booking an elegant hotel, retaining a photographer, arranging their getaway. Vis only duties: her own dress, finding a stylist, and a smattering of to-dos. She was quietly grateful for Harrys practical generosityit made her breath easier.
Once, over tea in the kitchens warm hush, Ellie dared to broach what shed been bottling up.
Are you certain youre not rushing into this? She swirled her teaspoon, eyes resting on Violet. You may hardly know him… Whos to say how youll get on, day in, day out? Maybe you should live together first, see how things fall out. Wedding after six months, say?
Violet smiled, unwounded, her eyes dancing with firelight. She knew Ellie spoke from care.
Dont worry, Ellieitll be wonderful, she insisted, looking off at something glowing on the horizon. I love cooking; I know a dozen lasagne recipes. I like cleaningit calms me. Harry wont help around the house, but Ive got this. At the very least, Ill hire someone.
She sipped her tea and added, voice trembling with hope, I love him. Ive never felt like this before It feels as if Ive finally found the one thing Ive been searching for. I wont let my chance slip by.
Ellie nodded, listening closely. She saw the way Violets cheeks coloured, the sparkle Harrys name provoked. This, perhaps, was true love: when every worry fades and the future shines, dazzling and cloudless.
You really trust him? Ellie ventured, quietly fishing for any hint of doubt.
I do. We havent known each other long, but I just know hes the one for me. We fit, we want the same thingswe want a proper family together.
Ellie sighed and squeezed her hand. Doubts or not, she could only support Violet now.
If youre sure, then Im happy for you, she said, tucking Violets hand in hers. I only want you to be happy.
Violet squeezed tight. Thank you, Ellie. I know you worry. But believe me, this is just the start of something beautiful.
Harry had certainly wooed her in style; there was no denying that. Every date played like a vignette from a romantic filmfresh roses for no reason, sweet notes posted through the letterbox, a surprise copy of a favourite childhood book. He even sent a coffeeViolets signature flat white with almond syrup and extra creamstraight to her desk every weekday at nine oclock sharp, with To the most beautiful penned upon the lid in silver. She blushed every time.
And each morning, Harry insisted upon driving her to work and collecting her afterwards, always waiting outside the office, opening her door, offering her his arm. The girls in accounting would watch from the window and shake their heads in envy.
Some prince charming, Vi! they teased. Where did you dig him up?
Violet could only laugh, unsure herself if it was real.
Ellie, watching all this, would sometimes wonder if her fears were misplaced. Harry did try so hard, she had to acknowledge, lavishing Violet with gestures and attention. But a gnawing premonition never quite fadeda sense that something vital lurked unsaid, hidden behind all the pretty pageantry.
One night, after cocoa and honeyed silence, Ellie finally spilled her worry.
You know, everything he does is so perfect. But it unsettles me, for reasons I cant quite explain. Just a feeling.
Violet stared, puzzled. Ellie, what are you talking about? Harry is wonderfulso attentive, so kind. He just wants me to be happy.
Ellie trailed off, not wishing to wound, yet felt she must.
Im not saying hes bad. Its just its awfully polished. Flowers, presents, your name on a latteamazing! But be sure youre looking beneath the surface too. How does he act when things go wrong? When plans unravel?
Violet considered, her smile gentle but unwavering. Youve always been the worrier in the family. Dont look for trouble where none lies. Im happyreally happy. Thats enough for me.
Ellie nodded. Alright, well see how things go, she conceded, though her instincts rattled like crows in a hedgerow. And as it turned out, her unease was well-founded. The biggest storm was still to comeone stranger than any she could have dreamt.
***********************
Violet arrived at Harrys flat bursting with excitement, clutching a sheaf of papersseating charts, moodboards, playliststhe evening laid out in lines and swirls, waiting to be polished together. She imagined the two of them plotting every little detail, trading winks, ordering a pizza and spending the night tangled in laughter and silly stories.
But crossing the threshold, she felt a frigid change in the air. Harry stood at the foot of the stairs, hands buried in pockets, his expression set hard and cold, gaze fixed somewhere far outside the window.
What do you mean, the weddings off? Violets voice was a whisper, as if the world was collapsing underneath her. Her lips tingled, foreign in her mouth. Whats happened? Youre so distant. Did I do something wrong? Harry, talk to meplease?
He turned, eyes empty, tone sharp and cruel. Did you do something? Not reallyonly that you were born a woman. And youre all the same, arent you? All you ever want is more money. As soon as some richer bloke appears, its goodbye from you! I cant stand your lot
Violet froze, dizzy with disbelief. She fumbled for sense in his sneer. Had she everevergiven him any cause for suspicion? These last three months, her whole universe had revolved around him; shed ditched evenings with friends, shifted her work holiday, shaped her days for their plans.
I I dont understand she started, white-knuckling her folder, knuckles blanching. Theres nobody else. You know I care, you must do
He rolled his eyes, turning to the glass, voice brittle. Oh, you care? Thats what you all say. But I see the way you look at other menhow you smile at them!
A lump rose in her throat. She wanted to protest, but the room crawled with silence. The man before her now was unrecognisable, a stranger clothed in the memory of someone shed loved; the warmth was scoured away, replaced by something ugly and hard.
But I never she started, before trailing off, lost.
Oh, please, spare me the excuses, Harry cut in, gesturing dismissively. Its all obvious. I thought you were different. I was wrong.
Violet could think of a hundred questions, and no answers. How could it all have crumbled so fast? The Harry whod brought her roses, whispered promises, and beamed each morninghed vanished into this coldness as if shed conjured his old self out of dreams.
I love you, I dont want anyone but you, she pleaded, fists trembling. Please, believe me.
Harry jerked his head up, pain etched deep. He heard only echoes of old wounds.
I trusted someone once and see what happened, he gritted out, knuckles whitening. Spent fortunes, yearsset up a whole wedding, picked out a ring, imagined our future. And then, on the day, she came to me, smiled, and said, Sorry, Ive changed my mind. Just like that.
Hed been young, brimming with hope, utterly sure hed found his match. Hed planned every last touch, only to see it all collapse with a single word. Now, bitterness frothed beneath the surface.
It hurts, doesnt it? Getting dumped on the doorstep of the altar? At least Im sparing you an audience. Go. Im done with you.
The words stung like icy rain. Violet wavered, then straightened. She wanted to explain, to unravel the snarl between them, but the words snagged and broke. Silently, she turned and slipped out.
The door clicked behind her, leaving Harry alone in the hushed gloom. He sank onto the sofa, covering his face as if to block out light, his mind turning over and over with questions he feared to voice.
Perhaps I ought to see a proper shrink, he muttered, bitter and alone.
He did care for Violet, truly. She was kind, sharp, funny in her odd way, always so attentive. But as things grew more serious, shadows from his past crept inhe saw the face of Nicola, the woman who had left him humiliated, twisting everything inside him. Every time Violet spoke of futures and families, panic flared.
He picturedvivid as a filmViolet smiling just like Nicola, saying, Sorry, but I met someone else. He just proposed. I cant say no. Securitys everything, after allyou could never give me that.
He squeezed his eyes shut against the image, but it burned too brightly, too real.
With a strangled sigh, Harry picked up his phone, blinking at the lit screen. Thumb hovering, he finally jabbed the needed contact.
Hello, its me, he said, voice unsteady. I need help. Im afraid afraid history will repeat itself. That Ill be alone, again. I need to break this cycle.
A warm, steady voice answered. You did right to ring. Lets see what we can do. When can you come?
Harry glanced through the window at the dying blue light, his reply barely a whisper: Tomorrow, if youve got time
**********************
A year later, Violet stood in a sunlit hall, her friends and family swirling around in a pastel-bright dream. She wore the same wedding dress, graceful as cloud, the lace sleeves brushing her arms.
Music beganlilting, soft, but oddly impossible. Violet took Harry’s hand and stepped to the centre. He smiledtentative, gentlepulling her close as if he couldnt quite believe she was real.
So, husband, she murmured, gazing deep into his strange eyes, how does it feel?
Weird, Harry confessed, eyes creased in bewilderment. Somehow it all tastes different.
Thats because it is different, she whispered. This time, theres no more what if.
Her mind drifted to that evening a year ago, stumbling home, shattered by Harrys words, believing everything was dashed. And yet, it was that heartbreak that had pushed her forward.
The next day, shed gone to his doornot to beg, not to berate, but with resolve ringing in her bones. Shed said, I wont leave till we sort this out. I can see youre frightened, afraid things will rupture like before. But we cant protect the future by destroying it before it comes. Lets try, together.
Shed waited as Harry hesitated, at last admitting, You dont understand I dont want that kind of pain again.
And I cant let you live with that fear, she replied. But we can face it side by side.
Their journey to a therapist had followed, Harold learning to tell his story, Violet learning to listen without flinchingeach step nurturing trust where only anxiety had grown.
And now here they werehusband and wife, spinning under fairy lights, friends applaudingHarrys gaze free of that haunted frost, alive with warmth and gratitude.
You know he said softly, clinging to her with both hands, Im glad you didnt walk away.
So am I, Violet murmured, nestled tighter. Now Im sure of itour love is bigger than any fear.
The music faded into the fluttering afternoon; still, they swayed, slow and gentle, alive in that quiet joy that only comes to those who, together, have walked through a storm and found their tomorrow was waiting all along.
