Yes, take him away forever! Whats the point of these formalities? Emily snapped, her voice sharp.
Didnt you ask me what Im supposed to do? James retorted in the same irritated tone.
You could have asked once in your life and maybe I wouldnt have snapped! Emily shot back.
If Id had a reason to ask, I would have! Its not up to you! James huffed. Nothing depends on you, so stop telling me how to act!
Your conscience is nowhere to be found, Emily said hurtfully. Fine, think about the boy for once!
And I do think about him, James roared. In fact, I think about him more than you do!
Not only thinkI pay his bills and raise him! he added, the anger in his voice turning to a sneer. You can keep threatening me that youll go to work!
Ill go, as soon as I find something! Emily declared.
First find something, then open your mouth! James replied, his tone unchanged. He listened to Emilys pained sigh for a few seconds, then turned back to packing.
Understand, it hurts Kostick that youre always with Tom, Emily said, trying to stay calm. When youre with them, Ive even noticed you give Tom more attention!
Hes older! Theres plenty to talk about, and the boys already starting to think for himself, James answered. We have to wonder what hell become.
Does your own son matter to you any longer? Emily asked.
Hes still a child. By law he needs his mothers care more than his fathers, James replied. So look after Kostick until he grows up. As for me
Ill spend time with the nephew, Emily finished, echoing her husbands words. Did you hear that? The nephew! And still turn a blind eye to your own son!
No ones spitting on anyone! James grimaced. I give everyone my time! But our Kostick has a father whos always there, while my sister raises her son with my mother, not with a man! Two women arent what a twelveyearold needs.
Should I now stay cold, watching two women break my nephews mind? Emily asked. Will he ever grow into a real man?
James, shall I invite my mother over so you finally take an interest in Kostick? Emily snapped.
Both of you can leave! James growled. All Im missing is your mother!
What about Kostick? Emily pressed, her tone dripping sarcasm.
Obviously hell stay with me. You have nothing to give him! James smirked. Did you think Id line you up with a fairytale life funded by alimony? Youll be the one paying me! At least get a job so you dont have to sit around doing nothing!
Emily swallowed the rebuke; James was right. She had nothing left. Her ambitions had evaporated during the marriage, and she never finished her degree. After a maternity leave she never returned to university.
James kept packing in perfect silence.
Did you buy all those toys for Tom? Emily asked, breaking the quiet. I thought Kostick would get something too
He already has enough, James shrugged. Tom has no one else to rely on but his uncle.
Both my mother and his are useless. Poor the nephewhell disappear with them! James muttered.
Emily couldnt think of a retort, so she stepped forward to help her husband. A card fell out from the drawer, fluttered to the floor. She picked it up automatically, unfolded it, and read the words.
Her eyes widened. The card slid onto the floor again.
James, what does my beloved son mean? she asked.
Who asked you to stick your nose where it doesnt belong? James snapped, pushing her away. Stop meddling!
Ill stop, but what does it mean? Emily whispered.
Good heavens, can you be any more thickskinned? James shouted. A sensible woman would have guessed by now!
Emily had every chance to become Jamess second wife, but fate had reserved her as his first. The woman destined to be his first wife never wanted the title. She lived with James in a rented flat for about a year, then vanished without a trace. Her parents swore theyd never seen her again, and no friends could guess where shed gone.
James mourned brieflywell, not really. As the old saying goes, A penny saved is a penny earned. He kept living his life, taking pleasure in his business.
A year later, Claire turned up, not alone but cradling a baby. Rumour spread that shed given birth to Jamess child. The gossip spun wildly: some said shed blackmail James, demanding alimony, even marriage. That never happened.
Claire came to hand over the child to its father, then disappear again. She could have slipped a bundle into Jamess hands and walked away, leaving him to claim the baby was a stray hed found. That would have sealed the childs fate in a childrens home.
Instead, Claire placed a wicker basket with the infant on the doorstep of the flat where Jamess mother and sister lived, along with a tearstained letter. She wrote that she loved the child but had no money, no strength, no chance to raise it. She confessed to postnatal depression and a serious diagnosis that would require lifelong treatment. She begged not to leave the child, her nephew and grandson.
James was summoned for clarification.
I have no idea, he shrugged. Maybe someone found the baby and gave it to you. Well run a test first.
The test showed the baby was Jamess son. A heated discussion erupted.
Where do I put this child? What am I supposed to do, when Ive just started my business? James complained. I have contracts, negotiations, deals! Im already stretched thin; I cant even pay my staff fully!
What do you propose? Put our own child in a home? Margaret, Jamess aunt, demanded.
Were the only ones who know hes our son, plus Claire. And Claire, as far as I can tell, wont be back in town, James sighed.
James, we know! Margaret insisted. How will we live if our child ends up in a childrens home?
Id survive, James muttered. And so would you!
Your conscience is gone, James, sending a child to a home! Helen, his sister, shouted. Who asked you to meddle?
Dont you have any say? James snapped. Dont stitch a horses tail and then ask for mercy!
Id never give my child away! Helen replied fiercely. She was twenty, had started a relationship, fell pregnant, then suffered a miscarriage and was diagnosed with a condition that meant she could never have children again. It was a wound that never healed.
Dont even think about it! Margaret warned. If you put the baby in a home, retribution will find you. Youll lose everythingyour business, your happiness, even your life.
James slammed his fist on the table. If you all think youre so righteous and charitable, then heres the plan: Helen registers the child as hers, Ill find the money, well sort it all out. Well raise him together, and Ill act as a good uncle, helping with his upbringing.
What do you mean help? Helen asked, confused.
Support! James shouted. Is that clear?
What if you get married? Margaret pressed.
What changes? Ill keep helping my sister with the nephew. Everything stays the same! James shrugged.
James had always paid his share honestly, but hed been absent for three years. When his mother or sister asked where he was, he claimed he was busy with both business and personal life.
Everyone met at a wedding, and James fed them whatever answers satisfied the curious. His mother and sister were occupied with the nephew, while Emily was pregnant and studying.
When their son, Kostick, was born, James began to change. He watched his bloodred child grow, but the shouting terrified him, and he thought of Tom again.
That kids already making a fuss! James muttered, and started visiting his sister and mother to bond with the nephew.
Fatherly feelings, sparked by Kosticks birth, poured more into Tom because Tom responded. Kostick, however, was often left on the side.
For eight years the pattern held. Kostick wasnt completely ignoredhe got his share of attention, but James admitted it was enough. He leaned more toward Tom. Four years is a long stretch for a child; a twelveyearolds needs differ from an eightyearolds. By the time Tom was a teenager, James had already outgrown the chores needed for Kostick. He no longer found Kostick interesting.
Emily watched as their son was pushed to the background in favour of the nephew. Resentment, jealousy, irritation, and outrage swirled inside her, but she could do nothing.
She was financially dependent on James. When she tried to look for work, the only offers were lowpaid, unskilled jobs. I cant be a cleaner or a dishwasher! she thought. All she could muster were bitter barbs, hoping James would remember their son, or at least give him the same attention as the nephew.
—
Wait, is this your son? Emily asked, stunned. Your own blood? Why is your sister raising him?
Yes, Emily, Tom is my son. Helen isnt his mother, but she raises him like her own. Tom already knew he wasnt her child, James snarled. What more do you want from me?
Do you think life is easy for me? Its a constant backandforth! James shouted.
Emily pressed her forehead, then covered her mouth with a hand, inhaled deeply, her gestures betraying confusion and the weight of what shed just heard.
James, why dont we take him in? she suggested calmly. Let the brothers live together. Ill try to be a mother to Tom. If he doesnt accept me, at least the father will always be near, and you wont have to split your time between sons.
Ready to accept my child? James asked skeptically.
Why not? Emily shrugged. Im even ready to adopt him.
Emily wasnt sure she could truly take in another child, but she thought that if both of Jamess boys lived under one roof, he would have to share his time. She would fight to give them equal love and attention.
James thought it over for a week, then decided. He officially recognized Tom as his son and handed him to Emily, who adopted him as promised.
Look after him, Margaret urged James. Shes a good woman. Another would have sent you to the devil. She understood, forgave, and accepted.
When James saw his wifes eyes, gratitude and love flickered there for the first time. Emily accepted Tom, though it took a year before she called her motherinlaw. In the end, they became an ordinary, happy family.
