The rot in a man unfurls the moment a woman starts to lean on him. When his role as the “only chance” becomes obvious, he no longer feels the need to pretend; he knows she will not wander away. Why be caring if she will stay anyway? Why show respect if she is already trapped? Then his true mask slips on: silence, coldness, belittlement – “you’re just seeing things”. Power over a dependent woman corrupts even the sweetest lads.
That is why you must always keep your own purse, your own “where to go” and your own “how to live”. Your support should be yourself, not him. You may love, you may build a partnership, you may stand beside him, but only if you can survive without him. Otherwise it isn’t love – it’s fear, and fear never makes a solid foundation.
A genuine union can exist only between two self‑sufficient, whole people. Not between a man and a woman who has no corner of her own, no map, no money. When you have no exit, you do not choose – you merely survive. And a woman who survives beside a man is no longer about love; it is about need.
Bonus
My neighbour, Mrs. Margaret, spent her whole life “behind her husband”. She was pretty, kind, modest – she quit her job when the children arrived because “he said that was right”. All the finances lay in his hands. She lived as if in plenty: a tidy flat, a holiday once a year, yet she begged for a new dress the way a schoolgirl begs for an ice‑cream.
When the children grew up and left the nest, the husband began to change: a frosty stare, constant muttering, a growing distance. Then one day he packed his bag and walked off with a younger woman. Margaret was left alone – no job, no savings, no confidence.
The first months were the most terrifying: how to pay the council tax, what to eat, what to do next? It was then she seized the reins of her own life for the first time. She found work – first in a corner shop, then in an accounts office. She relearned the basics, counted pennies at night, and tried not to let her children see how hard it was.
Years slipped by. Today Mrs. Margaret runs a small business – she bakes cakes to order. And what does she say? “If he hadn’t left, I would never have discovered how strong I am.”
That story taught me a single lesson: dependence always turns into a snare. Freedom – even when it is earned through hardship – always turns into strength. Only when a woman can stand on her own two feet can she choose love, not mere survival.
