Grandson Not Required
Mum reckons that Emilys the fragile one, my husband finally blurted out. Thinks she needs more help, what with no husband and all that. And apparently, were well, stable.
Stable? Vera spun round, a disbelieving eyebrow raised. Simon, Ive put on fifteen kilos since having Charlie. My back feels permanently twisted, my knees sound like a broken piano. The doctor says Ive got to sort my health out, or next year I wont even be able to pick Charlie up. I need the gymtwice a week, for a couple of hours. Youre always at work, work schedule changes every day. Whom I supposed to ask to mind Charlie? Your mum? She doesnt want a grandsonshes already got a granddaughter!
Simon said nothing. Staring at the fading tail lights of his mums old Ford Fiesta as she chugged out of the drive, Vera pressed her forehead against the cool window.
It was bang on seven oclock, according to the kitchen clock.
Pamela Wilkinson had stayed exactly forty-five minutes.
In the lounge, Simon was on the floor with their year-old son. Little Charlie twiddled the wheel on his plastic dumper truck, occasionally glancing at the door his nan had just slipped out of.
She gone? Simon peeked into the kitchen, rubbing his stiff neck.
Shes flown, Vera responded, eyes still on the glass. Apparently Charlie was showing overtired behaviour, and she didnt want to interfere with his routine.
Well, to be fair, he did squawk when she picked him up. Twice. Simon tried a wobbly smile.
He squealed because he doesnt even recognise her. Weve not seen her in three weeks! Three!
Vera spun on her heel and started stacking grubby mugs in the sink.
Oh, dont sulk, Vera Simon stepped forward, arms stretching for a hug, but she dodged and reached for a scouring pad instead. Mums just well, shes comfortable with Lily.
Shes not comfortable, Simon. Shes interested. Vera spoke, scrubbing with a fervour thatd frighten most stains. Lilys Emilys girl. Beloved daughter, beloved granddaughter. And we well, we could disappear and shed hardly notice.
Last Friday had been a microwave-repeat.
Pamela dashed in for a tick, handed Charlie a cheap plastic rattle, and peered longingly back at the hallway.
Simon had barely started saying how hed be on site Saturday, and wouldnt it be handy if Mum could mind Charlie for an hour or two so Vera could grab prescriptions and groceries, when
Oh Simon, I simply cant! Pamela fluttered. Were off to the puppet theatre with Lily, then Emily asked if she could have her all weekend. Poor Emilywork is so draining, and she still needs a social life, bless her!
Simon’s sister Emily technically raised Lily on her ownbut that on her own was a technicality at best. While Emily found herself (and a variety of boyfriends), Lily spent weeks at Nans place. Nan fetched her from nursery, carted her off to ballet, bought designer coats, and knew the name of every single doll in the toy box.
Seen her status? Vera gave a dry nod towards the smartphone on the table. Take a look at your mums latest, go on.
Simon reluctantly obliged. Videos flicked by: Lily ice-cream in hand, Lily on the swings with grandma, Lily and grandma sculpting soggy blobs out of Play-Doh. Caption: My dearest treasure, my greatest joy.
She spent the entire weekend with them, Vera bit her lip to keep from crying. Ten minutes here, never-ending bliss there. Simon, Charlie is only a year old. Hes your son. Shes his grandmother. How can she just not care?
Simons silence was answer enough.
He recalled, all at once, how Pamela had phoned him at midnight last month because her tap had exploded and she was being absolutely flooded, so hed dashed across half the city to fix things. He remembered paying off her payday loan when she bought Emily a fancy new phone for her birthday. And every spring weekend spent digging at the allotment, while poor Emily lounged with Lily in the sun.
Lets ask again, Simon said, not sounding much like he believed it himself. Maybe this time shell help. Its your health, Vera, not a whim.
Vera didnt bother answering. She knew exactly how itd go.
***
The chat happened Tuesday evening.
Simon put Pamela on speaker.
Hi Mum. Listen, its about Veradoctor says she needs proper gym time because her backs in bits. Could you watch Charlie, say, Tuesdays and Thursdays, six till eight? Ill swing by, pick you up and drop you off.
A pause. In the background, Lilys giggly shriek bounced through.
Oh Simon, what do you want all this gym palaver for? Tell Vera to do star jumps at home. Or stop with the apple turnovers! No one ever got a bad back from walking to the shops.
Mum, thats not up for debate. The doctor has her on an exercise course and massage. Its medical.
But you know my schedule, love. Lilys out of nursery at five, then weve got piano, then we have to swing by the park. Emilys at work all hours, she relies on me.
I cant leave Lily to fend for herself just because Vera wants to jump about on expensive mats!
Mum, Charlie is also your grandchild. You barely see him once a month!
Oh dont go overboard. Lilys a girlshes drawn to me, she adores me! Charlies just a baby; he doesnt know me from Father Christmas. When hes older, well chat. Right now, Ive got pictures to paint. Bye!
Simon set the phone down, slowly.
You heard all that? My sons got to earn his own grandma? Reach some magical age before shell even remember he exists?
I knew shed say that, Vera finally exploded. I knew from the day we left hospital and she turned up two hours lateall because Lily needed new tights. Its not even that she calls me lazy or overweightits for Charlie. One day, hell ask why his gran is all about Lily and never him. What do I say? Favourite-daughter syndrome, your dads only good for odd jobs and being a mobile cash point?
Simon began pacing the kitchen, wearing a rut in the lino. After a while, he halted, resolute.
Right! Remember we talked about that new kitchen for her birthday?
Vera nodded. Theyd been saving for six monthsto surprise Pamela with a renovation. Simon had found the units, lined up a team, wrangled a discount. It wouldve covered a cracking annual membership at the best gym in town with a personal trainer for Vera.
Therell be no kitchen now, he said, firm. Ill ring the fitters and cancel. If shes got time and energy for one granddaughter, shell have to sort her own kitchen disasters. Emily can mend her leaky taps. Or fork up for her own groceries. Well get you a nanny when you need the gym.
***
Next morning, Pamela rang, all honey-voiced.
Simon love, just checking Werent you popping round to look at the extractor fan? The flat stinks of smoke, and Lilys forever asking, Wheres Uncle Simon?
Simon, in his bland office, briefly closed his eyes. In his pre-enlightenment past, hed already be shelving his lunch to swing by B&Q.
Not today.
Im not coming, Mum.
What do you mean not coming? She sounded genuinely affronted. But the extractor! Ill inhale all the fumes!
Ask Emilys new man. Or Emily herself. Im fully booked, MumVeras health comes first. Ill be minding Charlie whenever shes at the gym.
So youre dropping everything over this nonsense? her voice grew cold. Casting aside your poor mother for your wifes fancies?
Im not casting anyone aside. Im just reshuffling priorities. Yours are Emily and Lily. Mine are Vera and Charlie. Seems only fair.
Youre talking back to me now? After all Ive done? Raised you single-handed! Made a man of you! And nowwhat? Because of that wife of yours, you treat your own mother like this?
What all did you do, Mum? Simons voice remained calm. Paying for Emily with my money? Giving her days off while I dug your allotment? Oh, and the kitchen, by the waythe big surprise. Were spending those savings on a nanny, since Charlies clearly off your radar.
The phone nearly exploded as Pamela shrieked, How dare you! I gave up everything for you! Youre just like your fatherungrateful! Lilys got nobody but me, she needs affection! Your Charlies spoilt rottenwhy should I have to love him? My heart belongs to Lilyshes my one and only!
She paused, breathless. Dont you dare ring me again! Dont darken my door!
Simon pressed end without a word.
He was slightly trembling, but, weirdly, he felt lighter. He knew this was just the opening act: now Mum would ring Emily, Emily would barrage him with angry WhatsApps, accuse them both of being cold-hearted money-grabbers. Thered be tears, threats, all the typical guilt-trip drama.
Predictably, it all happened. That evening, when he got home, Vera already looked palePamela had sent her a five-minute voice note, in which nasty little viper was the kindest phrase used.
Are we doing the right thing? Vera asked quietly, once Charlie was down and they sat to eat. Shes still your mum
Mums supposed to love all her kids and grandkids, Vera. Not play favourites and treat the others like handymen or piggy banks. I let it go for yearsfigured it was her way. But when she said she didnt care about your health or Charlie because shes got Lilys schedule? Thats enough.
**
And so, the drama dragged on.
Both Pamela and Emily, deprived of Simons support, bombarded calls and textsfirst cajoling, then berating, then wailing about ingratitude.
Simon and Vera held firm; voicemails went ignored.
Two weeks after the original fall-out, Emily turned up in person. Stormed straight in, called her brother a pathetic yes-man, and demanded he pay Mums bills, give money, buy groceries and medication immediately.
Simon simply shut the door in her face.
Hed finally had enough of being the dutiful son. And it felt oddly good.
