Where are you off to now? I asked, looking up from my phone. Daniel was zipping up his coat at the door, ready to head out again. He didnt even glance at me.
To Lauras. She needs a hand with something. He shrugged.
I rolled my eyes, set my phone on the table. Youre not going there a lot, are you? How many times this week already?
He made a face and waved me off. Emma, come on. Her washing machines gone rogue, she cant sort it out herself.
I felt a hot knot flare up from my gut and spread through me. Let her call a professional, I said, standing up. There are tradespeople for that.
Thatll cost a fortune, Daniel muttered, pulling his zip up. Ill do it for free. Whats the problem?
Dan, youre there every day, I stepped closer. Every single day! One thing, then another. When does it stop?
He was already at the door. Emma, Lauras alone with the kids now. I cant just abandon her, you know?
I snapped, And you can just abandon me? Youre never home!
Dont exaggerate, he said. Well talk when I get back. The door shut, leaving me alone in the quiet flat. The silence pressed on my ears, filling the room. I trudged into the kitchen where a mountain of dirty dishes loomed in the sink. I turned the tap, squeezed dish soap onto a sponge, and started scrubbing. The plate clanged against the basin with a harsh chime.
A whole year had slipped by since Victorias husband died in that sudden, absurd accident. Id felt sorry for Laura then two little ones, no support. Daniel and Victoria had been school friends, almost brothers. Of course he felt obliged to help. I understood that, at least in the first few weeks.
But the help didnt stop. Daniel seemed to have moved into Lauras flat fixing taps, changing bulbs, ferrying the kids to the health centre. He brought groceries, bought clothes for the children, paid for their afterschool clubs. All of it came out of the joint savings Emma and I had.
They had no kids of their own. They lived in my cramped onebedroom flat tiny, but ours. Wed once dreamed of moving to a bigger place, saving for a house, even thought about having a child. By the end of that year, every penny wed set aside had vanished on Victorias family, on her kids, on endless demands from a family that wasnt ours.
I flung the sponge into the sink. Foam splashed everywhere, coating the walls. It infuriated me, drove me to the brink of a whitehot fury. Evenings were lonely; I was home alone while Daniel was there, with Laura, helping, supporting, spending time with her children. Hed almost forgotten his own wife.
I tried to talk to him. Many times. But Daniel brushed me off, called my concerns an overreaction, said I was being jealous for no reason, that he was just helping a friends widow.
The friend had been gone a year now. It was time for Victoria to learn to live on her own.
One night Daniel came back around nine. I was at my laptop, finishing a report. He wandered into the kitchen, kettle whistling.
Emma, I fixed it! he shouted from the hallway. Can you believe it? Just a crimped hose. I straightened it and everything works. The kids were thrilled! Tom and Lily are such a pair. We played football in the yard. Then Laura fed us pancakes with condensed milk”
I barely heard him. His words turned into background noise. He appeared in the doorway with a mug of tea.
Emma, are you listening?
Yeah, I muttered.
Youre not listening at all! he huffed. Im telling you something and you
Dan, Im working, I snapped, grinding my teeth. I need to finish this report.
Always busy, he muttered, and left.
Hearing Victorias name, her childrens laughter, the pancakes, the cosy home she seemed to have it gnawed at me. It felt like Laura had a real family, while our flat was just a place to crash.
The weeks dragged on. Daniel still vanished to Victorias flat, sometimes staying until night. Hed come back exhausted but smiling, bragging about how the kids cheered, how Laura thanked him. I stayed silent. I didnt want to argue anymore.
Then he started comparing, as if it were casual conversation. We were having dinner Id reheated some supermarket meatballs with buckwheat. He poked at his plate.
Laura had a proper borscht today, he said thoughtfully. Real homecooked, with meat and sour cream.
I looked up, a knot tightening in my chest.
Dan, Ive been at work all day, I said evenly. I dont have time to make soups.
So Laura finds the time, he continued. And her flat is always spotless, even with kids running around. Shes brilliant, honestly.
My appetite vanished.
And shes raising the kids alone, he added, nodding approvingly. She manages. Thats real grit.
I got up, carried my plate to the sink, feeling a surge of irritation.
From that night on the arguments got more frequent. Daniel kept praising Laura her cooking, her cleaning, her parenting. Id lose it, shout that I was tired of hearing it. Hed take offense, walk out, then come back and the cycle repeated.
I started staying late at work on purpose, just to avoid coming home to a flat where my husband was either absent or only talking about Victoria. Id linger at my desk until evening, sip coffee alone, chat with colleagues about anything but my own life.
Id get home around midnight. Daniel would be asleep, or pretended to be. That night I slipped in at ten, fatigue weighing me down like lead. I threw off my shoes and headed to the kitchen. Daniel was at the table, munching on dumplings.
Theres nothing to eat at home, he said.
What? I asked softly.
Im saying you never cook anything, he gestured at his plate. I had to boil dumplings. Laura always has homecooked food in the fridge. Its always there cutlets, salads, soups. What do we have? Nothing.
Something snapped inside me, a string stretched too far. I stepped forward.
Then go to her! I shouted. If its so great there, go live with her and leave me alone!
Daniel froze, a dumpling falling back onto his plate.
Emma, what are you
Im fed up! I was almost gasping. Im sick of hearing about her borscht, her kids, how wonderful she is! If youre going to act like her husband, then take that role! It feels like you spend more time there than with me! Do you like Laura more? Go live with her!
Daniel stood up, his face pale.
Emma, calm down. Im just helping her. Mikhail was my friend. I feel I owe him”
My owe is to me! I cut in. Your wife, not her! I feel sorry for Laura, truly, but I cant keep hearing her name every day. I cant live with a ghost in our flat while youre there in body but elsewhere in spirit!
Its not like that, he tried to approach.
I stepped back.
Then quit! Right now. Say you wont go back. Say well rebuild our family. Say it.
He fell silent. I saw the confusion on his face, read the answer in his eyes. He would never say no to Laura.
Fine, I turned and headed for the hall, grabbed my coat.
Emma, where are you going? Daniel lunged after me.
Im staying over at my mums, I said, opening the door. By morning you shouldnt be here. Pack your stuff and leave. I hope Laura has room for you.
Emma, wait! Dont go! he pleaded, but I was already out, the door slamming shut enough to rattle the whole building.
I filed for divorce soon after. There was nothing to split the flat was mine, Daniel hardly had any belongings. He collected what he could that night and left the keys on the hallway table.
In the quiet courtroom, I sat on a wooden bench waiting my turn. Across from me sat Daniel, but not alone Victoria with her two kids sat beside him, the boy and girl silent, hugging their mother. Laura held Daniels hand, their fingers intertwined.
I watched their clasped hands, Daniels cheeks flushing when he noticed my gaze, but he didnt let go.
Soon it was our turn. Stamps in passports, signatures on papers. It was over. No more husband, no more wife.
Walking out of the courthouse, I turned back. Daniel, Victoria and the children were already walking to the car. He held the little girls hand, Laura cradled the boy. They looked like a proper family.
I walked the other way. Inside there was no pain, no anger just relief. I was glad Id left while I could, glad I didnt let things crumble completely.
Im free now. And that was the best decision I ever made. What comes next? Whatever comes, Ill take it as it lands
