A few months back, I started making content for social media. Not because I wanted to be famous. Not because I was on the hunt for attention. Honestly, its just fun. I like filming recipes, showing off little snippets of daily life with my daughter, and capturing cosy moments at home. Nothing scripted, nothing professional. Just simple videosusually from my kitchen or the sofa while I go about my everyday bits and bobs.
Right from the beginning, my husband started looking a bit queasy about the whole thing. At first, it was just the occasional sarcastic comment. Why bother? Who on earth would want to watch me? Why the need to upload videos at all? I told him, sincerely, that it was all just a nice distraction, something for myself. He didnt exactly buy it.
One day, he decided to say it straight out: Youre only doing this to get attention from other blokes. The implication was, apparently, so theyd fancy me. Watch me. I was honestly baffledwhere on earth was that coming from? My videos are me making shepherds pie, prepping my daughter’s lunchbox, or showing off a Victoria sponge that actually turned out for once. Im not prancing around in a bikini, Im not dancing, Im certainly not showing off my wobbly bits.
And heres the truly ridiculous partI have 99 followers. Ninety-nine. And half of those are my relatives: cousins, a few aunties, old mates from school. I told him so. I even showed him my page. Scrolled through the comments. Even then, he insisted it wasnt about the numbers, but about my so-called intentions. According to him, I was clearly after something.
Cue the bickering. Every time I picked up my phone to film, Id catch him giving me the side-eye. If I posted a video, the interrogation would begin: Whos seen it? If someone dropped a smiley face emoji, hed read it as some kind of flirty invitation. Once, he even asked me to show him my private messages (which, for the record, are a barren wasteland). He said I was disrespecting him as my husband.
It got to the point where I stopped filming freely. I started overthinking every single post. I felt watched all the time. What started out as a harmless hobby had turned into a regular source of tension. He kept saying I was changing, that I wanted to show off. All I felt was that, no matter what, I couldnt wineverything I did got twisted into the worst possible light.
So now, I hardly post at all. Not because I dont want to, but because every new upload feels like lighting a fuse on the next round of nagging.
Whats a girl supposed to do?
