I woke this morning to the faint, pained moans of my mum. For a moment, I lay still, uncertain if Id dreamt it. Then I hurried to her room and edged towards her bedside.
Mum, are you alright? Are you hurting?
Ellis, love, could you fetch me some water?
Of course, I said, dashing off to the kitchen.
I filled her favourite mug and brought it straight back.
Here, Mum, have a drink.
As she sipped, there was a sharp knock at the front door.
Ellis, could you answer that? Thats probably Granny Jean.
Sure enough, it was Mrs. Jennings from next door, holding a gigantic mug with both hands.
How are you, Martha? Mrs. Jennings checked my mums forehead gently. Oh dear, youre burning up! Ive brought some warm milk with a bit of buttermy mums old remedy.
Ive had my medicine, thank you.
You need hospital care, love, decent treatment and proper meals. You cant live off an empty fridge.
Oh, Mrs. Jennings, I spent every penny on tablets, Mum whispered, her tears brimming. Nothing seems to work
You must go to hospital.
But wholl look after Ellis if Im gone?
And what if you die, love? Youre not even thirty. No husband, no money She stroked Mums hair. There now, dont cry.
What do I do, Mrs. Jennings?
Thats it, Im ringing the GP, she said, pulling out her phone.
She was on the phone for several minutes. When she hung up, she explained, Theyll send someone today. If Im not in when they arrive, send Ellis for me.
As she bustled to the hall, I followed.
Granny Jean, I asked her quietly, Mum wont die, will she?
She hesitated. I dont know, sweetheart. It would help if you pray for her, but your mum never was a believer.
Will Granddad God really help? A hopeful spark appeared in my voice.
Well, youd best go to church, light a candle and praythat often helps. She squeezed my shoulder. Ive got to go now, love.
***
When I walked back to Mum, my stomach grumbled, but my thoughts were elsewhere.
Ellis, you must be starving. But theres nothing in the cupboards. Bring two glasses, will you?
I fetched them and she poured out the last of the milk.
Theredrink up!
I drank, but it made me hungrier. She saw right through me. With effort, she stood, grabbed her purse from the table, and pressed a five-pound note into my palm.
Pop to the corner shop, buy yourself two pastries. Have one on the way back. Ill see if I can cook something meanwhile. Go on.
She saw me out. Then, bracing herself against the wall, she shuffled to the kitchen. The fridge only had a tin of cheap sardines and a scraping of margarine; on the sill, two potatoes and an onion.
I suppose Ill have to make a stew
Her head swam with weakness. She sank onto the stool.
Whats happening to me? I have no strength left. Half my holidays gone and my wallet is empty. If I cant get back to work soon, how will I get Ellis ready for school? He starts Year 1 in a month. No family leftno one to lean on. And this illness I shouldve seen the doctor sooner. How will Ellis manage if they admit me to hospital now?
Slowly, she started peeling potatoes.
***
I was meant to be thinking about sausage rolls, but my mind kept circling.
Mum barely got up yesterday. What if she does die? Mrs. Jennings said I should ask Granddad God for help, I thought, pausing by the high street. I turnedmy feet carrying me to St Marys church.
***
Six months had passed since I returned from overseas. It was a miracle I survived the army at all. At least I can walk again, stick in hand. The scars dont bother me anymore, not really. Though as for my facewell, I doubt Ill ever marry now.
So many years since I enlisted. Now Im just another civilian, but I cant help feeling utterly unnecessary. The disability pension is generous, and the army saved a good bit for me. Yet, what are savings worth alone?
A line of beggars huddled by the church. I handed out a few crisp fivers and quietly asked, Spare a prayer for my mates, Thomas and Stephen, that didnt make it back.
Inside, I purchased candles. Remember them, Lord I muttered, crossing myself as the vicar had shown me.
For a long moment, I stood lost in the flickering light, my mind drifting back to all those hard years.
A small, skinny boy shuffled up beside me, clutching a tea light, clearly uncertain what to do.
An elderly lady moved to help. Here, love, let me show you.
She lit his candle and showed him how to cross himself.
And now tell the Lord why youve come, she smiled warmly.
Ellis stared at the stained glass above the altar.
Please help, Granddad God. My mums very poorly and Ive got nobody else. Make her better, please, he whispered. Mums run out of money for medicine. I start school soon, but I havent even got a rucksack
I found myself transfixed. My own problems faded to nothing.
Wasnt there someone who could have helped buy this boys mum some medicine or at least a school bag for him?
He waited, eyes bright with hope. Impulsively, I stepped forward.
Hey, lad, want to come with me?
He jumped, uncertain, eyeing my cane and scarred jaw.
Where?
Lets find out what medicine your mum needs, then pick it up from the chemist.
Are you serious?
Cross my heart. Granddad God said youd asked for help.
His eyes shone.
Lets go. Whats your name?
Ellis.
Im Nicholasbut you can call me Uncle Nick.
***
Back at the flat, I could hear Mum and Mrs. Jennings through the thin door.
The doctors prescribed all these, but I cant afford them. Ive only five pounds left
I pushed the door open, Mrs. Jennings peered into the corridor, startled to see me with a stranger.
Mum, which medicine do you need? Uncle Nick and I will go get it.
And you are? Mum asked, wide-eyed.
Everythings going to be alright, Nicholas beamed. Give us the scripts, please.
But Ive only five pounds, she faltered.
Well find the rest, Nicholas insisted, patting my shoulder.
Mum, please, the scripts!
Something about this man made her feel she could trust him, despite his battered appearance.
What are you doing, Martha? Mrs. Jennings hissed as we left. You dont know this man from Adam.
Hes a good manI can feel it.
If youre sure Ill be off then.
***
Mum waited anxiously until I returned, bursting through the door. My face lit up with excitement.
Mum! We got your medicine, and Uncle Nick bought us some treats for tea too.
Nicholas stood in the doorway, a warm grin spreading across his face. Suddenly, his sharp features seemed kind.
Thank you! Mum said, her relief obvious. Please, come in.
Nicholas struggled out of his shoes, obviously nervous, then limped awkwardly into the kitchen.
Sit down, Mum said, fussing as she took his stick and placed it within arms reach. Sorry I dont have more to offer.
Mum, we bought loadslook! I started unpacking the carrier bags onto the table, most filled with sweets and biscuits.
Oh goodness, you shouldnt have! Mum gasped, though I saw her eyes catch on the fancy tea. Let me put the kettle on.
She made tea, and for a moment, looked almost healthy again, though Nicholas eyed her anxiously.
Martha, you really ought not to rush aboutyoure so pale.
Ill be alright, once I take these tablets. Thank you so much for everything.
We drank rich, perfumed tea and nibbled biscuits together. Warmth seemed to fill our small kitchen, and even the old clock ticked more cheerfully. It was a lovely moment, but all such moments fade.
Thank youtruly, Nicholas said, standing with his stick. Ill leave you to rest. You need to get better.
Youre too kind, Mum answered, standing too. She didnt know how to thank him properly.
He made his way to the hall, and we followed.
Uncle Nick, will you come back? I asked, unable to hide my hope.
Of course! When your mums better, well buy you a school bag together.
***
Mum tidied and washed up. You watch the telly, Ellis. I just need to lie down for a bit.
She fell asleep quickly, exhausted but peaceful.
***
Fortnight passed. Mum bounced backthe expensive meds did the trick. Whod have thought missing work for illness would actually be a blessing? End of August already, pay day approaching, and we needed new school bits.
Saturday morning came. We breakfasted as usual.
Ellis, get ready! Lets see what youll need for school.
Has work paid you yet?
Not yet, but next Saturday, Ill get my wages. Ive borrowed a tenner, so well pick up a few things as we head home.
We were about to leave when the buzzer sounded.
Whos that? Mum asked into the intercom.
Its Nicholas
She pressed the button straight away, trying not to sound too excited.
Mum, whos there? I called from the next room.
Uncle Nick! She didnt even try to hide her joy.
Brill! I grinned.
In strode Nicholas, still using his cane, but something was different. His smart shirt and neat haircut made him look years younger.
Uncle Nick, I was waiting for you! I ran and threw my arms around him.
I promised, didnt I? He smiled. Hello, Martha.
Hello, Nicholas. The easy way she said his name pleased us both.
So, are you two heading out? he asked.
Yes Mum hesitated.
Time to get your school things, Ellis.
Nicholasbut Im not
I promised Ellisand I always keep my promises.
***
Mum always scoured the stores for the cheapest shoes and shirts, stretching each penny she had. No relatives, no husbandjust her and me. The only man from her past had vanished years ago.
But today, for oncefor oncea good man stood beside her, delightedly fussing over my choices. He bought everything Id need without glancing at price tags, simply asking what Mum thought of each item.
We came home in a taxi, arms full of bags.
Mum hurried towards the kitchen, but Nicholas gently stopped her.
Come on, lets all head out and have a bite somewhere. The three of us.
Mum, yes, please! I cheered.
***
That night, Mum lay awake, replaying the whole day in her mind. The way Nicholas looked at her, his gentle eyes. Her heart and head argued in quiet voices.
Hes not handsome, and he limps, reasoned her mind.
Who cares? Hes decent. Theres warmth in the way he looks at me, answered her heart.
Hes a good fifteen years older.
So what? Hes more of a father to Ellis than anyone ever was.
Therell be someone younger, more handsome.
I had someone handsome. I want honest and kind.
Youre changing your mind quickly.
No, Ive found what I want. I love him.
***
Our wedding took place in that same church, where Ellis and Nicholas met only three months before.
Standing together nowNicholas no longer needing a stickmy new family faced the altar. Ellis gazed up at the stained glass, just like before, and whispered:
Thank you, Granddad God!The sun streamed through the stained glass, scattering rainbow shards across our joined hands. As the choir sang and the soft voices of neighbours and friends filled the church, Nicholas squeezed Mums fingers with quiet strength. I stood between them, clutching my brand new rucksack, feet tapping in shiny shoes.
After, outside in the breeze and blossom, Mrs. Jennings dabbed her eyes and pressed a crumpled tissue into Mums palm. I always said you deserved a miracle, Martha, she sniffed. And lookhere you are, all three of you.
We laughed, and Nicholas swung me up for a second, his cane forgotten and his face alight.
That evening, as we sat around our little tablethe same kitchen once chilled by worry now glowing with the golden light of homeMum leaned her head against Nicholass shoulder, and I felt their happiness settle, warm and certain, into the rhythm of our lives. There was stew in the pot, laughter in the air, andperhaps for the first timewe had everything we needed.
And if ever things grew dark again, I knew exactly where to go: to St Marys, where candles flicker, and prayerswhispered or unspokenflutter upward, always answered, one way or another.
