**A Late Farewell: A Goodbye on the Way Home**
After bidding his lover goodbye with a tender kiss, Philip Carson climbed into his car and drove home. He paused for a moment outside the building, taking a deep breath, rehearsing in his mind what hed say to his wife. Up the stairs he went, unlocking the door.
“Hello,” said Philip. “Eleanor, are you home?”
“I am,” replied his wife, flatly. “Hello. Shall I fry the chops, then?”
Philip had promised himself hed be direct, firm, no beating about the busha man of action! It was time to end this double life while he still felt the warmth of his lovers lips, before the daily grind swallowed him whole again.
“Eleanor,” Philip coughed, adjusting his tone. “Ive come to tell you we need to separate.”
The news was met with unsettling calm. Eleanor wasnt one for hysterics. Once, hed even called her “Eleanor the Ice Queen.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, still in the kitchen doorway. “No chops, then?”
“Thats up to you,” said Philip. “Fry them if you like, dont if you dont. Im leaving. For another woman.”
Most wives mightve reacted with a burst of furyperhaps a frying pan hurled at his head. But Eleanor wasnt most wives.
“Oh, what a tragedy,” she murmured. “Did you fetch my boots from the cobblers?”
“No,” Philip admitted, thrown. “If its that important, Ill go get them now!”
“Look at you” Eleanor sighed. “Same old Philip. Send a fool on an errand, and hell bring back rubbish.”
Philip was offended. His grand dramatic exit was crumbling. Where were the tears, the shouting, the righteous rage? But what else could he expect from a woman as cold as Eleanor the Ice Queen?
“I dont think youre listening, Eleanor!” he said, raising his voice. “Im telling you Im leaving you for another woman, and youre talking about boots!”
“Precisely,” Eleanor replied. “Unlike me, you can go wherever you like. Your boots arent at the cobblers. Whats stopping you?”
Theyd lived together for years, but Philip still couldnt tell when Eleanor was serious or just winding him up. Early on, it was her quiet calm, her poise, that had drawn him innot to mention her sharp beauty and no-nonsense manner. Eleanor was solid, loyal, and unshakable as a brick wall. But now Philip loved another. He loved with passion, guilt, and sweetness! It was time to cut ties and start fresh.
“So, Eleanor,” Philip declared, solemn but with a touch of sadness. “Im grateful for everything, but Im leaving because I love someone else. I dont love you anymore.”
“Fascinating,” Eleanor said, without raising her voice. “Doesnt love me, poor lamb. My mother fancied the neighbour, my father loved dominoes and whisky. And look what a marvel I turned out to be.”
Arguing with Eleanor was useless. Every word of hers landed like a brick. His fiery resolve was fading, and he no longer fancied a row.
“Eleanor, you really are something,” Philip said bitterly. “But I love someone else. Passionately, sinfully, sweetly. Im leavingunderstand?”
“Who is it, then?” asked his wife. “Not Tanya Miller, surely?”
Philip flinched. A year back, hed had a fling with Tanya, but he never dreamed Eleanor knew her!
“How dyou know about her?” he began, then stopped himself. “Never mind. No, Eleanor, its not Miller.”
Eleanor yawned.
“Sandra Wilcox, then? You went back to her?”
A shiver ran down Philips spine. Sandra had been another fling, but that was ancient history. If Eleanor knew, why had she never said a word? But then, she was a fortressnever giving anything away.
“Wrong again,” Philip insisted. “Not Wilcox, not Miller. Someone else, someone wonderfulthe love of my life. I cant live without her, and Im going. Dont try to stop me!”
“So it must be Mabel,” Eleanor concluded. “Oh, Philip, Philip you really are daft. Your big secret. The love of your lifeMabel Venton, thirty-five, one child, two miscarriages Am I right?”
Philip clutched his head. Shed nailed it! His affair was indeed with Mabel.
“But how?” he stammered. “Who told you? Have you been spying?”
“Elementary, Philip,” Eleanor replied. “You know Ive been a gynaecologist for years. Ive examined half the women in this town, while youve only sampled a fraction. One glance, and I know where youve been, you silly sod!”
Philip took a deep breath, trying to salvage his dignity.
“Suppose youre right!” he declared, chin up. “Even if it is Mabel, nothing changes. Im going.”
“You really are thick, Philip,” Eleanor sighed. “You couldve just asked. Honestly, theres nothing special about hershes just like the rest. And I say that as a doctor. Have you even seen your sweethearts medical history?”
“N-no,” he admitted.
“Right. First, go shower. Second, Ill ring Dr. Harris tomorrow to squeeze you in. Then well talk. Honestlya gynaecologists husband chasing after an unwell woman!”
“What should I do?” Philip whimpered.
“Ill fry the chops,” said Eleanor, turning away. “Youwash up and do what you like. If you want a healthy woman, just sayIll recommend someone”
