Recently, a neighbor turned to me for help, she is already 90 years old. And only in these years she realized that all her life she had been wrong to her daughter.
Once this woman gave birth to a daughter from her beloved man and began to hate her from the first days of her life. Her husband left her with the child, and she blamed her daughter for the fact that she was left alone. She hated her daughter so much that she deprived her of the right to inheritance before her death, making a will in favor of her son.
She deprived her of parental rights, taking her granddaughter for herself, justifying it by her daughter’s alcoholism. And now she wants to fix everything she has done over the years, but her daughter does not want it. I offered her different options for reconciliation.
First: you can agree with the son to share the apartment with his sister, because he loves his mother and sees that reconciliation with his daughter is really important for her.
The second option is to find out where her daughter is, so she will not be able to avoid the dialogue, she will talk to her face to face. Making the granddaughter an intermediary between mother and grandmother, she will organize a meeting.
The third option is help; perhaps she dreamed of maternal support that she never received during all the years of her life.
There are a lot of options, the main thing is to remove pride and make the first step towards reconciliation. It is good when you realize your mistakes, your wrongness and even if it is late, but better than never. Let the past remain in the past.
During my short life I realized that hatred is much more dangerous for a person, it binds stronger, but love does not. After all, it is much easier to let go of the beloved, but with the hated one it is more difficult. This person will always be with you, you will always think about them, scroll through dialogues with them in your head, options for revenge, and then options for reconciliation, and so on in a circle, everything will be cyclical for many years.
By asking for forgiveness, you will find peace and freedom from hatred, but whether the person forgives you or not is not important; you have done everything in your power, you have overcome your pride.
