Son, I dont want you and your wife to split up because of me! Take me to a care home, please!
Six months ago, I brought my mum to live with me. Shes already 83, quite elderly now. Ever since my dad passed away, shes struggled to manage on her own in the countryside. My kids are all grown up and have their own places now. That left just my wife and me in our two-bedroom flat, and I thought having Mum stay with us wouldnt be a problem.
At first, my wife didnt say anything. But within a week, it was obvious that Mums presence was really starting to get to her.
Look, cant she eat separately, after weve finished? my wife said to me one evening.
Why?
Its just easier this way. Honestly, I cant eat when I have to watch her struggling with her food and gumming everything down. It puts me right off.
Dont say that. Well all be old one day.
Thats different.
Little things started to chip away at my wifes patience Mums digestive issues and her snoring at night were especially annoying. She told my mum she wasnt welcome in the kitchen, and before long, she didnt want her leaving the bedroom at all. Eventually, she came to me and said:
You know, I never imagined shed stay this long. I cant take it anymore.
What do you want me to do?
Send her back to the country.
But she cant cope there alone!
Shell have to. Loads of people are in the same situation. Why should I feel like a stranger in my own flat, putting up with the chomping and that awful smell?
I honestly didnt know what to do. Then, just the other day, I came home and found Mum dressed with her suitcase, perched in the hallway.
Mum, what are you doing?
Son, take me to a retirement home.
Why? Theres no need for that.
I dont want the two of you to break up over me.
She keeps begging me to let her go, but Im at a loss. I cant imagine living with myself if I left her in a care home. Should I move with her to a village somewhere instead? How am I supposed to choose?
