Some Eccentricities of the Hopkins Family
– Oh, there goes Olivia with her dog again
– Good heavens, whats she done to the poor animal this time? Just look at Busters tailno longer purple, but now pink! Honestly, look at him wagging it about!
– Well, what can you do? The girls always been a bit odd. Still, shes kind and decent! How many like her have you seen lately? When her gran was ill, Olivia practically moved into the hospital with her, whirring around and not giving a fig about her own youth.
– Oh really? I spotted her only yesterday getting dropped off by a rather dashing young man outside the flat.
– Maybe it was a cabbie?
– Oh, of course! Since when do taxi drivers kiss young womens hands like that?
– Is that so?!
– Exactly! Im telling you, our Olivia is about to get herself married.
– Well, thats wonderful! Her gran will be chuffed to bits. What a fine young woman shes raised! Clever, pretty, decent. If only it werent for her job, shed be right perfect!
– And whats wrong with her job then?
– Detective Inspector? Really? Not quite the thing for a lady, is it?
– Now youre talking nonsense! How many care about the law these days like her gran? Thats what I thought! Besides, Olivia makes a brilliant Detective Inspector! She was in the local paper and they even did a telly segment about her. And youre nit-picking!
– Am I? Im not! May God be good to her, as they say! Though it was always clear shes destined for something special. You remember what she was like as a kid?
– Dont I just! Takes after her granfiery, that one!
The subject of the bench-side gossipOlivia Hopkinsstrode past, nodded politely at the nosy neighbours, then suddenly dashed after her dog, who was bouncing along the crispy, sanded, ice-dusted pavement, its tail the soft pink of an English sunrise.
– Oi, look at her go! Wheres she off to now?
– Where else? Meeting her sister. Kates arriving today.
– And how do you know that?
– Olivia told me herself. And looktheres the taxi now!
A tall, slim woman stepped out, didnt say a word, strode up to Olivia and crushed her in a hug, then whistled at the dog waltzing around her feet.
– Olivia! What in the world have you done to the dog this time?!
– Do you like it? Its Grans favourite colour!
– Oh, you oddball! Ive missed you so much.
Olivia hugged her sister right back and burst out laughing.
The entire neighbourhood knew Olivia Hopkins was, shall we say, a bit peculiar. Shed been that way since childhood. A sweet child with two skinny plaits, each finished with a gigantic old-fashioned bow, tied just so by her gran, Olivia always greeted the neighbours with a somewhat lopsided grinthanks to dentistry via Grandpaand a gentle, How are you today?
Oddly enough, after a time, even those with nothing to hide stopped answering. Not that theyd anything shameful in their cupboards or a gobby parrot ready to spread the family secrets.
Its just that, frankly, Olivia scared them a bit.
She was a relentless chatterbox.
But thats nothing, right? Kids talk rubbish all the time. Who believes them?
ExceptOlivia wasnt just babbling meaninglessly. She had a knack for recalling snippets of overheard conversations, squaring them with things shed seen, and thenwithout a shred of hesitationshared them directly with whomever they concerned.
– Auntie Tania, while you were out at work, Uncle Stan visited Mrs. Evans in flat seventeen. He brought flowers! Lovely yellow oneslike the ones he gets you for your birthday, only this time the bunch was huge! I asked if I could smell them, but he said no! Then he went straight to Mrs. Evans. Why can she have the flowers but I cant?
Auntie Tania, who usually lapped up her husbands wild tales of late hours, suddenly tensed, glanced around to check no neighbours overheard, and made her escape, not bothering to greet Olivias gran.
– Darling, why are you talking to Mrs. Tania? She didnt ask you anything! Gran would get cross, but never explained herself.
Olivia sulked. No one had told her what shed done wrong. Was it really that bad?
Gran would go silent, clutch Olivias hand and mutter about no sweets after tea for little snitches. Olivia hated that. Shed brood until she remembered: Gran and the statue in the town square did have one differencepigeons werent pooping in Grans hair, so her do was safe from the bald patch that had befallen the statue of dear old General Wellington.
It was her adopted granddad whod explained the baldness; he simply said the statue had worried too much.
– Like you? Did he have a tough job? Was he a childrens dentist too?
Shed imagine him bent double in the old dentists office, terrifying kids with his shiny, pigeon-disgraced dome poking through the door.
Her granddad would just roar with laughter and say, If only! World would be a different place, let me tell you. No, love, he was a leader!
– A leader? Nahif he was a leader, hed have feathers on his head! Like the chiefs in those bedtime stories. Instead hes bald and covered in bird muck. Shame, really! Do you think the pigeons feathers would do for a proper headdress?
– Not quite, lovethey need eagle feathers for that.
– What, and rob an eagle? Gran says thats just not polite. Like when you went behind the bushes fishing without warningremember? Gran said nature has its place.
Granddad would laugh so hard passers-by would stare, but Olivia was deadly serious. What was so funny?
When she got stern, shed put her hands on her hipsjust as Gran didand scold: Dont be silly! Honestly! You think youre Red Rum, galloping about like that?! A gentleman ought to behave with dignity! Otherwise, people will be embarrassed for youlike me!
For her trouble, granddad would sheepishly buy a secret 99 ice cream as a bribe on the way home, which was only secret because Grans rules were strictno puddings before mid-day. Granddad never cared for Grans rules. Olivia, oddly, never let it slip.
– Olivia, dont go telling Gran about the ice cream, or shell never forgive me.
– There would be a big row?
– Oh yes, youve seen how fiery she gets! Shes used to everyone obeying.
– But you dont!
– Well, Im a man! What good would I be if I just said yes, dear all day?
– So, should we tell her about the ice cream?
– Absolutely not! Listening to women is one thingupsetting them on purpose is quite another.
– Granddad, are you a coward?
– No, just old and wise. I prefer a dodgy peace to a full-scale war.
– Whats that mean?
– Ill explain on the waylet’s pick up some flowers for Gran, so she doesn’t notice your sticky face.
She nodded. Olivia was devoted to her granddada New Years present from Gran, so to speak. Her gran, who’d raised her since babyhood because her parents were always off chasing viking treasures in Cornwall or dig sites in Norfolk, had finally allowed herself to remarry her old classmate, a round jolly man, calm in the face of Grans tempers and her own legal career. Gran was smart, practical, and the proud possessor of a law PhD, but romantic enough to fall for serenades and moonlit poetrythough no one ever bothered, thinking such a woman had no need for soft nonsense.
Her first husband gave her flowers only on bank holidays and preferred quotations from Eliot to Byron. The poor man eventually ran for the hills, never understanding the woman beside him.
All romance dried up, life revolved around her career and son, her heart went cold and firm, until little Olivias wailing infancy brought light back into her life. With gran occupied during their expeditions, Olivias parents handed her overpuffing her cheeks, blowing bubbles, out-screaming even the neighbours yappy terrier until the poor mutt was rehomed.
The neighbours gave Gran a mountain of unsolicited childrearing advice, most of it cheerfully ignored. Olivia flourished; when she was one, granddad came alongGran decided it did no harm to have extra relatives and allowed Olivia to choose for herself whom shed love most. Olivia saw her birth granddad, but attached herself firmly to the jolly, unflappable newcomer who would have done anything for her and her gran.
The story of how granddad came back into their lives was common knowledge in Grans house. Little Olivias colicky wails led well-meaning neighbours to suggest a certain childrens dentistnone other than Piers, Grans own long-lost youth. Smiles flourished, hearts fluttered, and before long Gran found herself respectable wife once again, with Piers as Olivias adopted granddad.
Olivia never went to nurseryher health was too delicate, and Grans attempts at socialising the child ended with weeks of chicken soup and recuperation. Blow the nursery! said Piers, Lets keep her well! Well sort the rest.
Instead, Gran and Piers decamped to the family cottage in Kent each spring, where kids ran wild. Olivia made her first real friends: sweet Sally from next door, the mischief-making twins Mick and Greg, and Zinnia, a budding ballerina egged on by her ambitious grandmother. With all this company, Olivia never got ill, and spent her days in the summer house Piers had built, eating, studying, or playing hostess.
It was at age six that Kate appearedcheeky, scuffed, stubborn, and oh-so-different from anyone Olivia knew. The day they met, Olivia was reading a new book granddad had just brought back from London, carefully sifting the first strawberries Gran had washed. Everyone was busy: Sally was doing French lessons, the twins had been dragged off for school shopping by their sensible mother, and Zinnia was dancing for hours under her grans beady eye.
A grubby little hand came up out of nowhere, and Olivia shrieked so loudly Gran nearly hurled a whole basin of jam across the kitchen. Cats fell off the shed roof and bolted.
Gran loved animals, but she liked order more. Right now, there was little of eitherOlivia squawking, jam bubbling, and the root of this ruckus still hidden.
Olivia, legs tucked under her, cowered on the bench, goggle-eyed at a cackling, mucky-faced girl sitting under the table, hoovering up strawberries, not the slightest bit inclined to flee.
– Why are you squealing? Arent you curious why Im here?
The girl grabbed the bowl outright.
– Tasty! Come on! Otherwise therell be nothing left for you!
It dawned on Olivia that she was still shrieking. She cut short on a wobbly note, glanced at Gran, then scuttled under the table.
– Here! said Kate, offering up a fat strawberry.
– Your hands are filthy
– So? Thats what hands look like in the country!
Gran, having lost sight of the girls, hurried to the summer house, saw who the strange child was, and relaxed.
– Katie, reallymust you give folk such a fright? Wheres your granddad?
– Having a nap. Tired himself out, again.
By Grans look, Olivia guessed she knew precisely who Katie was and what tired meant.
– Girls, play nicely. There are sweets on the kitchen table. Ill be back! She ditched her apron, ran off, then remembered the jam, dashed back in to switch off the stove, gave sleeping Piers a nudge, and vanished. None of this disturbed Piers from his post-lunch doze; he could sleep through anythingoff-key singing, Beethovens Ninth, or the shrill yells of small children.
– Look after them! trilled Gran, and swept away. Piers peered out.
– Olivia, wheres Gran gone?
– Waking Granddad! piped Katie, solemnly offering her grubby paw. Catherine Matthews.
– Piers Hopkins. Delighted to meet you! Olivias granddad shook hands gravely.
Later, Olivia would learn who Kate wasGrans old friends granddaughter, the one left behind when tragedy struck: after losing her whole family in a plane crash, only Granddad and little Kate were left. Gran had taken them in, never one to leave a child alone, especially one so heartbreakingly like Olivia herself.
Legal arrangements took some time, but eventually, Kate became Olivias sister in all but name.
They were nothing alikeone calm, one headstrongbut that made their bond all the stronger. Kate became Olivias guiding star, teaching her when to speak up and when to hold her tongue, gently steering Olivias remarkable observation and deduction skills towards more useful ends.
– You should be a private investigator! Although my Granddad thought it was a dogs lifedetectives can easily have their work made a dogs dinner if a rotten investigator shows up.
– Then Ill become a detective.
– Why?
– So therell be at least one decent one! Olivia declared, not knowing just how difficult and rewarding her future would be.
Despite being considered quirky by all and sundryand a fair few twirling their fingers at their templesOlivia stuck to her guns. She had a goal, she had people behind her, and with their love, what could stop her?
That love stood there, arms crossed, eyebrows bristling, intoning:
– Olivia, have you eaten anything today? How can you not have?! Outrageous! And why are you laughing, Kate? Bet you havent had a morsel either! Come on, lunch nowno arguments! And plates clean, mind! Piers! Must you be specially invited? Let poor Buster go and wash your hands! Youll ruin the dog! What did pink ever do to him?! Because its fun? Honestly! When did I ever say that? Really? I never noticed Stop winding me up! Soups going cold! Everyone to the table, now!
