Whenever Philip visits Sophie, she seems to lose all common sense right before his eyes. It’s pure happiness, really. She bustles about, preening, hastily hiding the clothes she’s tried on under the sofa cushions, and pulling curlers from her hair. Then she dashes to the bathroom, brushes her hair, puts on a bit of lipstick, and only then emerges before himlooking absolutely radiant.
And why wouldn’t she be beaming? Just think for a moment.
Sophie is a single mum, never truly married. She was briefly engaged to a chap named Olivera couple of months, thats allbefore he took off back to his roots, though Sophie never did figure out quite where that was. He might have been from Wales; possibly from Scotland. While here, he worked at the local market, but what exactly he did, Sophie never found out.
And so, Oliver, the apple of Sophies eye, disappeared and left her a little bit pregnanthardly even enough to notice, just a few weeks along and Sophie herself was unaware. After he stopped coming roundvanishing for more than a monthit dawned on her that she well wasnt going to be on her own much longer.
When the moment arrived, she had a boya beautiful one, naturally. It makes sense when you think about it: Sophie herself is a stunner and Oliver, well, he looked every bit the storybook prince.
To be fair, she was lucky with Jack, her little boy. He was as placid as they come: always asleep or, when awake, nursing quietly. Fortunately, Sophie had so much milk she could have fed another baby without any trouble.
Jack barely suffered a single one of those usual baby ailments.
She named him Jack after Jack Hawkins, the actor. During her pregnancy, shed happened upon an old film, The Cruel Sea, and there Jack Hawkins played a handsome, steadfast officer who reminded her, in some ways, of her Oliver. For Sophie, there simply wasnt any other name. So thats what the register reads: Jack Oliver Bennett. Sophie repeated it to herself a hundred timesalmost like music to her ears.
Jack was her little ray of sunshine. If she needed to prepare lunch or tidy the flat, shed lay out a blanket on the floor, barricade him in with chairs, and pop him in the middle of his makeshift playpen with an old handbag, a few curlers, and some bits of fabric. He played happily, silent and content. Even the time Sophie popped in from the kitchen and found him stuck with his head between the chairs, trying to wriggle free, he merely grunted and tried to push the chairs apart with his pudgy hands.
As Jack grew, he never really became any trouble. Sophie could let him out in the little communal garden, only reminding him to pop up at the ground floor window every ten minutes and yell, “Mum! Im here!”
Jack didnt have a watch, of course, so hed shout through the window every three minutes until Sophie responded, Alright, love! But then hed stay, still not satisfied, until she asked, Arent you off to play, then? He would answer, You didnt smile at me yet Sophie would give him her warmest grinreal, never forcedand off hed dash, back to the other children.
One day, Jack shouted his usual, Mum, Im here! and when Sophie leaned out the window, she saw him hugging a kitten.
Mum, that lady gave him to me! She said his name is Jasper. And she said youd be well pleased, and that we should look after him together.
Jack was so sincere, she couldnt help but smile. Then she said, Well, Jaspers probably famished. Both of you, come inIll pour him some milk.
And up the stairs Jack ran, kitten in arms. A happy boy, Jack. Jasper wasnt quite so sure about things yet.
This was their lifejust the three of them, until Sophie met Philip.
Philip was about Sophies agea steady, respectable man, never married, not exactly young but full of life. He worked at the furniture factory and made a decent living. Soon enough, he was spending Saturdays at Sophies, staying the night. He didnt talk much, ate heartily, drank a bit, but never overdid it. For Philips arrival, Sophie would chill a bottle of gin in the freezer, serving it in her favourite short-stemmed glassesPhilip liked those special tumblers best.
Everything is as usual tonight. Philip arrives, shakes Jacks hand in the hallway, and settles on the sofa while Sophie completes her preparations. Then, the three of themno, four, counting Jasperwatch television before having lunch.
Afterwards, as is their routine, everyone has a little rest, planning for an evening stroll in the park.
When Sophie closes the door to Jacks room and curls up with Philip, resting her head on his arm, for the first time, he brings up marriage.
I reckon wed live at yours for a while, he says. Then we can move somewhere biggeror maybe I could let out my flat to bring in extra money. But you know, Sophie I don’t really like cats. Well have to find Jasper another home.
Jasper, she corrected him, tensing as she listened.
Yes, Jasper
He pauses, then, settling the matter as if it were long decided, he adds, And well send Jack to live with my mother in the country. Fresh air, good school. Anyway, were still youngwe can have a bunch of our own.
Sophies head turns to stone on his shouldermotionless. They lie there in silence for several minutes. Then Sophie rises, shy, as if hes never seen her undressed, wraps herself in her dressing gown, walks to his clothes on the chair and hands him his trousers.
Well then Here are your blessed trousersgo on, put them on and be off.
Where to? he asks.
To your mothers, in the country. Enjoy the fresh air. The three of us get plenty enough of it right here in our parkPhilip stared at her, mouth half-open, as if hed misheard. Sophie didnt waver; she stood quite still, clutching her dressing gown closed. The silence in her small flat was thick, but Jacks faint giggle floated in from the next rooma playtime, safe and happy.
For a brief, ridiculous moment, Philip hesitated, weighed down by disappointment and the unspoken promise of what might have been. But Sophie merely lifted her chin, looking at him with a certainty she hadnt known she possessed until that very moment. It was as if, all at once, every hurried lipstick smile and every lonely evening trying to make things just right fell away.
In the next room, Jasper leapt softly to the window, tail flicking, Jacks bright laughter echoing close behind. Sophie let a small, tranquil smile crease her lips. Shed never had a crowna wedding ring, a princebut she had what mattered, and it was hers to protect.
Without another word, Philip gathered his things. The lock clicked gently behind him, just as Sophie exhaleda long, slow breath of relief.
She crossed the sitting room, ran her hand along the back of the worn old sofa, and opened Jacks door. There he was, red-cheeked and grinning, his arms wrapped tight around Jasper.
Sophie gathered them both together, and for the first time in a long while, she felt perfectly at home.
Shall we go for our walk, loves? she asked, voice light.
Jack dashed ahead down the stairwell, kitten tucked under his arm. Sophie followed, steps steady, heart wide open, the golden evening pouring in as she closed the door behind themall three stepping out, side by side, into a world that finally belonged to them.
