Actor
That cat is the devil incarnate, Olivia! You need to get rid of him at once! Margaret wrinkled her nose in disgust, eyeing the ginger, one-eared tom weaving around her sisters ankles.
What are you saying, Maggie?! Olivia gasped, horrified. Hes a living creature!
Creature? Thats the right word for it! Dont you think, Olivia, that hes a bit too full of himself?
The cat, as if to drive home Margarets point, suddenly hissed, arched his back, and began to inch sideways, eyes trained on the unwelcome guest.
See! Margaret triumphed, pointing at the cat while unable to stop herself stepping back. What did I tell you?!
Olivia gasped and called out to her guardian.
Actor, dearest, dont! Its alright!
The cat turned, gave Olivia a long look, then seemed to relax. He returned to Olivias side, nudged her aching leg with his body, and sat next to her as though to say hed be vigilant just in case.
Troublemaker! Margaret huffed, giving the cat a wide berth. And yet you feel sorry for him!
Well, someone has to care for him, dont they? Olivia sighed.
Actor had shown up at Olivias house three years ago, during the toughest time in her life. Barely had she said goodbye to her husband, than her only son also passed, leaving Olivia completely aloneapart from her sister and a couple of acquaintances. Shed never had close friends.
There was always Margaret. Her sister.
Margaret was the eldest. There was barely a year between them, but when they were young, their parents always made a point of saying:
Maggies our eldest! So responsiblegive her a job and you know itll be done right and on time! Our Olivia now, thats our angela sweet comfort to the soul. A wonder-child! But so absent-minded oh dear me!
The girls grew up convinced: Margaret was clever, beautiful, an absolute star, and Olivia was a scatterbrainbut beloved.
Why do our parents praise you? I dont get it! Margaret would grumble when Olivia brought home perfect marks. Working hard at school is just normal! Whats there to compliment?
Maggie, Im not as clever as you! You get top marks in everything. I have some good bits, some not so good
Exactly! Yet they still go on about you! Margaret would mutter, whilst Olivia hid her smile, careful not to wind her sister up further.
Margaret sailed through school with flying colours, went to university, and was rarely seen at home.
Hows it all going, Maggie? Olivia would grab fleeting chances to catch up on her sisters life.
Its going. Shame the days arent longer! If only I had more hours
Why? For your studies? Olivia inquired, always the concerned younger sister.
Oh, studies? Maggie scoffed. Its my personal life thats missing! How are you meant to meet a decent bloke when youre rushing round all day, thinking about career prospects?
Oh, Maggie! That never occurred to me
Have you ever thought about anything, little one? Maggie would laugh, not noticing how sharp her words could sound. Thats for grown-ups. Not for kids like you!
Olivia would withdraw, hide her hurt, and quietly be happy when things went well for her sister. The star, after all, was meant to shine. Olivia settled for watching the light from afar.
By the end of university, Margaret was still single. Men seemed to steer clear, perhaps wary of her quick wit and sharp tongue. Her mothers gentle hints to try and soften her manner fell on deaf ears.
Mum, what do you want from me?! To sit in a corner and practice being a wallflower, like some Jane Austen character? Ridiculous! Leave that to Olivia. Not my style!
No ones asking you to change completely, darling! Just try being a bit softer Boys like that, you know.
Oh, Mum! How would you know what boys like these days? Times are different now!
Well maybe youre right, love You probably know best, Maggie.
A bolt from the blue struck the family when Oliviawho everyone said didnt need higher education and should just learn a practical trade for a decent livingintroduced her fiancé.
Meet James
James won Olivias parents over almost instantly. Handsome, clever and talented, hed just started his journalism career at the BBC and already had something of a name for himself. Above all, he was besotted with Olivia. That plain, unremarkable girl who had studied at the local polytechnic, in everyone elses eyes.
Olivia had always loved sewing and dressing well. Thus she chose a career as a dressmaker: something for herself, but also useful to others.
Olivia, honestlya seamstress? Margaret grumbled, dissatisfied.
Maggie, Im not as clever as you, but you tell menot everyone can make a lovely skirt or blouse from scratch. I want people around me to look good and be happy.
What happiness! Olivia, you have no idea, do you?
I dont know but that dress I sewed for you came out alright.
For whom?
For you! For me. For everyone! Folk will look at you and sayyou look gorgeous. Isnt that good?
Hmm Some people shoot for the stars, and my sister Oh, Livvy!
Still, Olivia didnt understand where shed gone wrong with her clever sister. Margaret wore the dresses Olivia made her with pleasure. Olivia didnt just copy what she saw in magazines either; she dreamed up her own patterns, spending sleepless nights embroidering the hems of Margarets dresses with bright flowersher face lighting up to see her sister twirl in delight.
Olivias creations were so admired, people often asked Margaret where she bought her things, but she never let on.
Secret! shed declare.
Must be from abroad then, eh? Maggie, where from? Your relatives diplomats?
Not telling! Thats a closely-guarded secret! shed wink, quietly proud of her sisters talent.
But James arrival in Olivias life dealt a blow to Margaret.
How? How had Olivianeither well-educated nor especially prettymanaged to get engaged before Margaret? Unbelievable!
At her sisters wedding, Margaret sat with a face of stone. Family and friends couldnt understand what was wrong. Olivia, radiant in a dress shed made herself, turned heads for the first time in her life.
Beautiful! And her chaps a good one too! What a pair! Wishing them all the luck! everyone said.
It was then Margaret tasted real envy for the first time. It wormed its way into her heart, gnawing it from within.
Your sister has a handsome husband, and youve got no one! Your parents dot on Olivia and whisper about future grandchildren. Not happening for you, is it? Olivia has stolen your lightshes the star now, not you. Such is life; some get everything, you get nothing.
Margaret didnt even stay for the end of the reception. She slipped away home, howling into her pillow and cursing the hand shed been dealt.
Yet once she set foot inside the childhood home, and her mother appeared, Margaret instantly composed herself.
You alright, love?
Perfectly! Dont fuss, Mum.
Margaret married six months laterto the first man who asked. He was much older, going thin on top, a bit stout, but clever and acutely aware of what Margaret wanted from the match.
I can give you what you want, Margaret. Lets call it a contract.
The terms?
You bear me a childmaybe two. You focus on your career. Ill support thatnanny, cleaner, whatever you like. I promise you: no affairs, youll never have to worry about your health. I want only one thingabsolute loyalty. I will not tolerate infidelity. My needs are simple: a meal, a bed, and a peaceful home for my work. No arguments, no drama. Understood?
Margaret hardly hesitated:
Deal!
Oddly enough, their pragmatic marriage worked out well. There wasnt the tender warmth you could feel in Olivia and James home, where love filled every nook and cranny. But with Margaret there was calm certainty, confidence in tomorrow.
She bore her husband a son, then a daughter, just as theyd agreed. The children were looked after by the nanny. Their days were scheduled to the minute, planned by Margaret to ensure they grew up educated and, if possible, well-mannered. With her doctoral work, job, and endless social events where she sparkledalways guarding the secret of her outfitsMargaret had no time for anything else.
Meanwhile, Olivia never seemed in a hurry. Through the difficult 1990s, she sewed from home. Clients whispered her address to newcomers:
An absolute magician with a sewing machine! Hardly takes new clientsshes got a loyal set already.
Shes that good?
Amazing! Seen my pink dress? Thats hers!
No! I thought it was designer!
Well, every designer started off somewhere! If Olivia doesnt get scared of success, shell be hugemark my words!
Her clientele ranged from nouveau-riche wives to MPs, and half the BBC and the Royal Opera House. Not once did she repeat a design, knowing all too well what a scandal itd be if two women appeared at the same event in her creations.
Once life had settled down a bit, Olivia opened a small dressmaking studio, which quickly became a sort of fashion hub. It was a place to make connections or gossip, but also, you could enter unseen and leave without a word. The studio was on the ground floor of a lovely old mews house that Margaret had found for her sister, fixing up and kitting out the rooms for maximum comfort.
Margaret sorted out all the equipment, lent her sister the money, but told her not to worry.
Well settle up in time!
What mattered most to Margaret was giving Olivia a foundation. Thinking about Olivias fate, she regretted the envy shed once felt. She blamed herself for the way Olivias inner spark had all but faded out. Looking at her own healthy children, Margaret felt anguish; Olivias precious only sonher long-desired boyhad been born unwell.
Sunny That was the word Margaret had heard someone use, and she adopted it, calling her nephew nothing but My Sunshine.
My darling! My sweet! Sunshine of mine! Ive brought you presents! shed say to the boy.
And he would greet her with such a trusting smile, and for a moment, Margaret wanted to turn the whole world upside down just to make his life a bit happier.
Maggie, you love my Harry more than your own! Olivia remarked, watching her son, who trusted almost no one, hugging his aunt. He waited so long for you
It wasnt entirely true, but Olivia wanted to believe her boy was healthy.
Knowing how hard it was for Olivia, Margaret took it upon herself to find a nanny and help set up the studio.
Just work, Olivia! You need it! James is always travelling. No point sitting at home and pining.
I cant, Maggie! Harry needs me!
Youve got a big enough space. Set up a playroom there. Hire help. Ill find a nanny. Oversee it all! Harry will be nearby, and youll keep your peace of mind.
Maggie darling, what would I do without you?
What else are sisters for? StopIll cry and my make-up took ages! Ive got a meeting!
So life went on.
Margaret kept an eye on her sister and nephews health. She sought out specialists, doctors, new treatments. Harry was a frail boy; his heart was feeble, his insides didnt work as they should.
I dont understand, Maggie Olivia cried in those rare private moments. What did I do so wrong for my boy to suffer so much?
You did nothing wrong, love! Its fate, if you like. A vile card fate dealt you. But dont mope! Well manage! Harry will never be truly healthy, lets be honest. But we can ensure hes safe and lovedwhat more does a person need? Family, warmth, and love. That we can give him, cant we?
I suppose we can
Then lets do it, not shed tears! Ive found another neurologist. They say hes a genius! Queues as long as Oxford Street, but never mind! Harrys on the list. Lets see what a genius can do for us.
Maggie
Oh, hush! Pour me another cup of tea! And a sandwichI havent had so much as a crumb all morning.
Margarets husband accepted her devotion to her nephew easily enough.
Shame theres nothing much to be done for the poor lad. But I know youyoud fetch a star from the sky if you could. Say the word if you need anything. Ill help.
Those few words meant the world to Margaret. She knew now she truly loved himnot with the rash, wild love of ones youth, but something different: measured, steady, earned by waiting and hoping.
Children grew, parents aged, and the sisters no longer had space for envy or disappointments.
Who else could you share your troubles with, if not your sister?
And it wasnt just Margaret helping Olivia. Once, when Margarets husband faced troubles at work, Olivia asked James to help any way he could. The investigation was drawn-out and dangerous, and only years later did Olivia learn it had nearly cost her beloved husband his life. But the truth was found, and Margaret, brief but heartfelt, thanked her sister.
Youll never know what you and James did for me, Olivia. But I promise youneither you nor your family will ever want for anything while Im alive.
Margaret kept her word.
She was Olivias constant support when James was ill, and as he dwindled away, daily reminded Olivia she had to keep going for Harrys sake.
And then Margaret held Olivia when her Sunshines heart stopped forever. They clung to one another, dry-eyed even as the doctors patiently explained what had happened. Afterwards, they left the clinic, forgot about the car, and walked hand-in-hand across the whole city in silence.
The yellow t-shirt and red trainers
Yes
No explanation needed. They were saying goodbye to a childjust as he would have liked.
After Harry was gone, Olivia faded dramatically. She was on autopilot, letting her staff take over. Margaret, popping in at the studio unannounced, often found her sister staring at a sketchbook, arms limply dropped, unable to draw a single line.
Olivia
Ill just rest a bit, alright? shed say, blank-eyed.
Thats enough of this! Margaret struggled not to break down in front of her.
Im allowed anything now, Olivia replied with a sad smile. Nothing really matters anymore.
Everything changed the day the cat appeared.
No one knew where hed come from: battered, filthy, with a torn ear. Outside was a busy high streetcats seldom lingered there.
He tried the studio door, and was immediately shooed away.
Off you go! Shoo!
So he did the only thing he could to save himselfhe flopped down on the top step, limbs and head dangling over the edge, and pretended to be a rag.
Thats how Olivia found him, arriving at the studio later than usual.
Girls, whats this? she asked, stopping at the pathetically draped creature.
A cat, Miss Oliver! Came, sprawled out, refuses to budge.
Is he even alive? Olivia prodded the silent animal with her shoe.
He peered at her, sighed in a most human way, then let his tongue loll as if to say:
Whats the matter with you people? Im dying here! Honest! In a minute therell be nothing left. I havent even got a name, and I havent eaten in a week. Honestly, its your faultno decency, you lot!
For the first time in ages, Olivia smiled.
Well, what an actor! Girls, look at himSir Laurence himself would be envious! Right. Enough! Come on, then. Time for a meal and some fuss.
She scooped the cat up, checked him over, and shook her head.
No, you need to see the vet first! That ear looks dodgy. And generally
The cat offered no resistance; quietly sat on the passenger seat, let the vets poke and prod himonly voiced a protest at the worst of the injections. Accepting a tin of pâté from Olivia as a reward, he strutted after her as she headed for the car.
Well Ive never had a cat before. How are we going to work this out, Actor?
The cat posed like the Sphinx, inspecting the traffic with stoic calm, and Olivia smiled again.
I see! Well get along. Lets see what Margaret makes of you
Predictably, Margaret didnt approve of the catat least outwardly. She scolded Actor and rolled her eyes, but deep down, she was pleasedthe spark was back in Olivias eyes. Someone needed Olivia badly enough for her to forget herself.
Olivia, hes got a funny look in his eye!
Maggie, let him! No ones looked at me like that for a hundred years.
Like what?
With love!
Hes a rogue. Hes only pretending!
Let him pretend! At least he curls up around my bad feet every night and watches films with me. You should see himstaring intently at the screen, as if he really understands!
Youre asking for itnaming a cat Actor instead of Tom or Felix! What a name!
It suits him! Olivia laughed, and it warmed Margarets heart. Her sister smiled againand for that, Margaret would forgive the cat anything.
But the true turning point came the day Olivia almost slipped away.
It was a Saturday. The sisters hadnt planned to meet, but since she happened to be passing, Margaret decided to drop in on the off-chance. Maybe Olivia was working late again? Ever since Actor entered her life, Olivia was back at her sewing, and clients still clamoured for her stylish new designs.
The lights were on. Margaret let herself in.
Olivia! Livvy! Im here!
A ginger streak dashed to her feet; Margaret howled as the cat gripped her ankle, tearing her tights.
Actor! Are you mad?! What are you playing at?!
He looked odd; the wild flicker in his eyes made Margaret step back.
Good grief, are you rabid?
She grabbed a yardstick to defend herselfbut Actor let out a plaintive meow, darting between her and the door to what had once been Harrys nurserya room Olivia hadnt the heart to refurbish.
Whats in there? she whispered to the cat. Wheres Olivia?
She lunged towards the door, instantly forgetting about the cat. There was Olivia, collapsed on the floor, clutching a photograph.
Olivia!
An ambulance, hospital, a day in the intensive care
Margaret paced the corridors, helpless, muttering all the prayers she could remember.
Dont take her! Leave her with me, please! Let her live!
Only later would she hear that Actor had also prowled the nursery, howling with a strange, guttural cry not heard from him beforeexcept when calling for Olivia herself. He refused food right until she awoke, then curled quietly at her feet.
Three weeks later, Olivia finally came home.
Maggie, first stop the studio!
Livvy, why? Ill bring your little devil to you myself!
No, I want to see him.
With effort, Olivia climbed the studio steps. The girls all laughed to see a streak of ginger thunder down the hall and wrap itself around her legs, purring so furiously that even Margaret laughed.
Oh, Actor!
Olivia picked up the cat, stroked his healed ear, and admitted,
He called me back, Maggie. I really heard him First Actor, then you, before the hospital. And afterwards too
What? Afterwards?
I dont know how to explain it. There were voicesJames, then Harry, but Actor drowned them out. And then, finally, there was you
How odd Margaret faltered.
But Actor seemed to know. He reached up to tap his owners chin, then looked at Margaret, settled into Olivias arms, and purred with a promise of peace, louder than ever. Olivia smiled again, making her sisters heart swell with relief.
In the end, what does a person truly need? Loved ones nearby and a peaceful heart.
So little and so very much.
