To be happy is essential
Dad left us for another woman when I was just four years old. He left right after New Years, paused on the doorstep, told me sorry, and closed the front door behind him.
Mum took the news calmly, almost as if she expected it or saw it as a natural course of things. In her side of the family, no woman had ever managed to build a lasting marriage. Still, just a couple weeks later, she took all the sleeping pills in the house one night, curled up in bed, and never woke up again.
The next morning, I tried again and again to wake Mum. When I got tired, I managed to scrounge some breakfast from what I found in the fridge, then went back and tried to wake her once more. At some point, I fell asleep myself, pressed close to her.
It was mid-January, and the days barely lasted. Twilight crept in when I finally opened my eyes again, roused by the bitter cold. I pulled the duvet tighter around me, snuggled up even closer to Mums body, but the chill only grew worse. Thats when I finally understood: the deep, unbearable cold was coming from her. My cheeks burned as hot tears streamed down my face.
I heard the front door open in the hallway. In a flash, I ran from the bedroom. My Aunt Julie, Mums younger sister, had arrived.
Annie, youre homegood. Wheres your mum? Ive been ringing her all day and shes not answeredof course Im worried!
I gripped the hem of Aunt Julies coat, tugging hard to pull her along. My eyes, swollen and red, stared up at her as I pointed frantically towards the bedroom, my mouth open as if screaming, my face twisted with griefbut no sound would come. Not a whisper.
Julie had never been able to have children herself, and after five years her husband had left. She loved me, her only niece, fiercely and unconditionallyshe was as much a second mother as an aunt. When tragedy struck, she handled all the paperwork for guardianship so that I could stay with her. She showered me with all the care in her power, but the specialists and therapists did nothing to bring my voice back, even after three years.
That winter, the cold settled in around Epiphany, with snow crunching underfoot. I spent the whole day with friends in Victoria Park, sledging, rolling about in the drifts, and building a whole family of snowmen. We made snow angels until our cheeks stung.
Right, its time to head home. Your coats stiff as a board, and your gloves have turned to ice. Off we go. And well stop by the Little Waitrose for some milk and pasta, Julie said, gathering me up.
People bustled in and out, doors swinging open and shut, as a ginger cat sat calmly beside the shop entrance. Eyes half-closed in apparent boredom, he worked his front paws in the cold. I crouched down, close to him, gesturing for Julie to go in alone.
Ill be quick, just wait right there and dont move! she said, hurrying inside.
I stroked the cats fur; he arched in pleasure and began to purr. I wrapped my arms around his neck, gently pressing my cheek against his head. Suddenly my cheeks were wet with tears, and the cat licked them away, sneezing and licking again.
For goodness sake, Anniedont do that. Hes filthy, hes a street cat! Julie scolded, but I hardly noticed. She tried to pull me up, but I resisted, sobbing, my face streaked with tears and snot.
Julie all but dragged me to the car and bundled me into the back seat. But the ginger cat trotted after us, stopping just outside the door, meowing plaintively, his amber eyes fixed on mine.
I cant just leave him. Hes mine now, and Im leaving him behind, I whispered, my voice breaking, tears blurring the window glass as I watched him.
Julie spun round from the drivers seat, voice trembling. Did you just Did you just speak? Say it again, sweetheart, say it again!
We cant just leave himhell die without me! I suddenly cried, the words tumbling out.
Without a moments hesitation, Julie jumped out, scooped up the ginger tom, and got into the back seat beside me. The cat, still jumpy, clung to her coat with his clawsthen, seeing me, leapt onto my lap, curled up, and became very still.
If you want him, Annie, hes yours. You only had to say the wordId have found you a cat long ago, Julie said, beaming with relief and happiness.
