Single. Full stop.
Sitting at her modest desk, Hannah absent-mindedly spun her coffee mug in her hands. Her gaze drifted across the sea of identical office cubicles and grey walls of the call centre, eventually settling on the girl sitting opposite herAlice.
Alice always seemed a world apart from the usual crowd in the office. There was a genuine curiosity in her large blue eyes, and with her delicate features and neat hair, she carried an unmistakable air of intelligence. It was obvious to Hannah that the jobendless calls to debtors, reciting the same scripts and discussing late paymentsdidnt suit Alices nature in the slightest.
Dont you ever feel trapped in here? Hannah eventually asked, tearing her eyes away from the mug. Honestly, youre brighter and sharper than most people I know, yet youre stuck calling up people about their bills.
Alice shifted, only just realising the question was aimed at her. Then she smiled softly and shrugged, her voice calm and even as she replied, Its just for nowI needed something to get on my feet. I didnt know anyone in this city, didnt have a place to live when I arrived. Came here with just two suitcases and the hope I could change things, you know?
There wasnt a hint of bitterness or regret in her voiceshed clearly answered this question before, always with the same calm conviction.
Hannah traced her finger around the rim of her mug, genuinely curious about what would make someone like Alice up and leave everything for an unfamiliar city.
So what made you drop everything and just go off into the unknown? She lowered her voice, almost apologising for asking.
But she instantly saw Alice tense, her smile slipping just a touch. Hannah regretted the question the moment it left her lipsit sounded too direct, even a bit nosy.
Sorry, you dont have to answer, Hannah said quickly, hoping to soften the awkward moment. But if you ever want to talk, or need a hand settling in, Ill do my best.
Alice looked up and gave a grateful nod. She could feel the sincerity behind Hannahs blunt stylea genuine kindness underneath the tough words and no-nonsense attitude. Alice had noticed it in the short time theyd worked together.
Still, the offermeant kindlystirred up difficult memories. Old images crashed in: the warmth of home, familiar streets, and the faces she grew up with Alice took a deep breath, pushed the thoughts away, and focused on her screenanother number already flashing, another debtor waiting
*****************
Alice had only just turned eighteen. She barely felt like an adult; it still seemed as if school had only just finished, and real lifefilled with promise and adventurewas yet to begin. She dreamt of university, new mates, the thrill of making her own decisions, carving out her own path. Then, one evening, everything changed in a flash.
Her mum, Kate, was oddly lively that daykept glancing at her watch, nervously adjusting her hair, and checking again and again that everything was ready in the kitchen. The doorbell finally rang, and Kate practically dashed to answer it, like shed been waiting for this for years.
She returned with a young man in towJames. He strode in confidently, chin held high, as though sizing up the room. Smart navy suit, crisp white shirt, pricey watch sparkling on his wrist. At first, James made a decent impression. He spoke smoothly, without a hitch, always referencing some scientific study or statistics. Hed talk about the latest economic reports, quote famous philosophers, drop names of well-known scholarsas if eager to display just how much smarter he was than everyone in the flat or the whole town, perhaps.
But as the evening went on, Alice felt more and more unsettled by him. James kept making snide comments about family friends, throwing in just enough derision to suggest he felt above them. He criticised their jobs, life choices, even their hobbies, his tone always dripping with condescension. Alice winced internallyshe hated that kind of talk. She never understood how people could so easily judge others without the slightest attempt to see where they were coming from.
Her mum, on the other hand, couldnt have been more delighted. She threw Alice these meaningful looks as if to say, See? Isnt he clever, isnt this promising? Kate was all smiles and eager nods, hanging on James every word as if he were issuing proclamations from on high.
Then it hit Alice like a punch. She realised in horrorJames wasnt just any guest; he was a prospect. Her mum clearly had him penned in as her future son-in-law. Alices heart pounded. Panic gripped her as the questions whirled: How? Why him? And who, exactly, gave her the right to decide for me?
Desperately, she tried to catch her mums eye, hoping for a reassuring smile or that this was all a misunderstanding. Instead, Kate looked back with a steely resolve. Her gaze read: This is happening, and Ive decided.
A wave of rebellion rose, ready to burst out. Alice wanted to leap up, shout that she had a right to her own voice and choices. But the words stuck somewhere deep. She just clenched her fists beneath the table, silently wrestling with the chaos inside her.
Her whole life had been arranged according to her mums plan, not her own wishes. Every flash of independence was stamped outfirmly, relentlessly. Kate always claimed to know best: what was good, what was right, where Alice should focus her energies.
She remembered primary school, getting her hopes up about joining art club. She loved dabbling with paints, making colourful swirls, dreaming of drawing something truly beautiful one day. Nervously, shed told her mum her dreamonly to get an abrupt, Art club? No way. Dance classesgood posture, thats what you need.
So Alice went off to dance classes. She practised the steps, held her back straight, smiled on cue. But her heart wasnt in it. She did well, but the spark, the joy, belonged to her missed watercolours.
In secondary school, she made her first real frienda bright, cheeky girl who was always dreaming up wild new ideas. They spent break times together, explored the park after lessons, swapped secrets. For the first time, Alice got a sense of being herself, no need to put on a show. It didnt last; her mum soon nipped it in the bud: Invite her over? Absolutely not! Shes not your sort. Stop seeing her!
Alice tried to object, insisted her friend was kind and interesting, but Kate just shook her head. I know whats best for you.
Later, when it was time to choose a career, Alice was smitten by lawall those tricky legal terms, the drama of courtroom stories, the pull of justice. She bought the textbooks, signed up for extra classes, started planning for the exams. Once again, a flat rejection: Law school? No. Go for teachingyoull need it when you have your own children one day.
It was like this, again and again. Alice stopped fighting. She nodded without enthusiasm, went wherever she was sent, hid her dreams and grievances awaynot to rock the boat.
But eventually, something inside snapped. The moment James left, Alice felt it break. Her hands shook, her voice trembled, but she couldnt hold it back.
Why do you always decide for me? she cried, barely keeping the tears at bay. Dont you care what I want?
Her mum folded her arms, unbothered as ever. I only want whats best for you. You dont understand yet.
Those wordsthe old, unbearable refrainlit the fuse. Alice yelled and sobbed, begging her mum to see that she was her own person, that her life was hers to plan. In desperation, she hurled a mug at the floor. Porcelain shattered, but Kate stayed unmoved, repeating, Youre being silly. One day youll see Im right.
Alice stared at the pieces at her feet. Nothing workedwords, tears, ragenothing could crack her mums certainty that she was right.
The next morning, everything changed permanently. Alice woke to silenceher phone, always by her bed, was gone. Her laptop was missing too. Dazed, she found Kate waiting in the hall, face unreadable.
Wheres my stuff? Alice demanded, anxiety rising up.
I took it, Kate replied, matter-of-fact. You dont need distractions until you calm down and make the right choice.
Before Alice could protest, her mum ushered her back into her roomand locked the door from the hall. Alice rattled the handle. Locked. In the quiet, she felt more like a trapped princess from a fairytale than a real eighteen-year-old.
All she had was the bare minimum: bed, wardrobe, desk, chair. No phone, no laptop, not even a radio. The window was locked too. Her mums footsteps retreated down the hall.
She tried every way she could thinkbanging on the door, calling out, hoping someone would hear. But by evening, she knew it was real.
Twice a day, food would appear on the doorstepa sparse meal, just enough to stave off hunger. Days blurred, endless and slow, until time stopped meaning anything.
A week went by, and Alice was completely drainedmore by the hopelessness than hunger. She no longer shouted or pleaded. She just sat by the window, watching the skies drift by, wondering how her life could have been different.
When her mum finally opened the door, Alice didnt even look up.
Ready to make the right choice? Kate asked from the doorway.
Alice nodded slowly. She said nothing. She only wanted it all to end.
Years later, shed replay that time again and again with therapists, asking herself why she hadnt tried to escapebreak down the door, scream for help, smash the window. There was no answer. Something invisiblebut strongkept her still: habit, perhaps, or fear of burning everything down for good.
After that, it was as if her life slipped onto a track laid out for her by someone else. Wedding preparations began: dress fittings, menu choices, guest lists. Alice moved through it all half-awake, dragging her heels with excusesplacements at the nursery, extra courses, claiming autumn was too soon, spring too early.
But eventually, her mum and James had enough. Youve had quite enough time to think, Kate said firmly. Now its time to get a move on.
They set Alice and James up in a flat together So you can get used to each other, as the families said. A quick wedding at the registry office was just a formality.
And thats when Alice found out she was pregnant. The news hit like a cold shock. She sat there, staring at the test, unable to believe it. How? Why now? Of all times?
It was a nightmare. She didnt feel a thing for James except annoyance and distance. His voice, his habits, even his scent set her on edge. The thought of tying herself to him forever, raising a child, living side by side filled her with dread.
She put off telling him for ages. When she finally managed it one evening over dinner, he just nodded, as if shed said shed bought milk, and replied, Alright then.
Alice dropped her gaze to her plate. Everything was unfolding just as shed always feared.
Still, Alice didnt give up. She began planting seeds with her mum, softly, never head-on. Shed casually bring up other girls she knew from her uni course:
You know, Mum, Emily just married a buildertheyve bought a flat in town already. And Sophies just got engaged to a doctorprivate clinic, brilliant salary
Kate listened, narrowing her eyes but didnt interrupt. Alice pressed on, Marriage is a big decision. You have to be sure youre with the right person, someone who can really provide for the future
She didnt have to spell it out. Kate, for once, stopped pressing quite so hard.
Next, Alice invented a respectable admirera businessman, allegedly keen but respectful, giving her time to decide. She dropped hints to her mum about how considerate he wasno rushing into anything, all patience and understanding.
Gradually, the pressure relented. Her mum agreedmaybe, just maybe, there was no need to rush the wedding after all. Alice dared to hope she could slowly, gently nudge her mum towards letting her finish uni first.
But the news of the pregnancy ruined everything. It was the end of her careful plans. Kate would never wait, never give her another day of freedomshed drag them straight to the registry office, convinced this settled things once and for all.
Thats when Alice knew she needed to actquietly and fast, before her mum clocked on. She tracked down a clinic far from home, hoping anonymity would protect her.
She sat in the GPs office, schooling her nerves. The doctor, calm and matter-of-fact, asked her questions, filled in paperwork, sent her off for tests, and booked in her next appointment. It was handled briskly, with clinical detachmentjust what Alice needed.
As she left, heading to the bus stop, she flicked through the formsand froze. The doctor She was sure she recognised her. Shed seen her with her mum, chatting in the shop, sharing a laugh in the park. Panic surged. What if the doctor had told her mum, just as a friend? Yes, there was patient confidentiality, but could she really trust her mums old acquaintance?
She realised she couldnt afford to wait, not even for a momentevery second counted. Her heart hammering, she hurried home, grabbed the suitcase she kept ready for sleepovers, and started stuffing it with jeans, T-shirts, a jumper, socks, undies, her toothbrush, and as much cash as shed saved.
Shoving in the last things, she glimpsed a photo of herself and her schoolmates at prom. Her breath caught, but she shook herselfno time for looking back. Hoisting her bag, she crept to the front door.
Her heartbeat was so loud, she was sure it could be heard outside. Slowly, carefully, she twisted the key, edged the door open, slipped out to the landing, and only allowed herself to run once she was safely out of earshot.
In the taxi, she kept checking behind, half-expecting to spot her mum chasing after her. She blurted out to the driver, Heathrow, pleasefast as you can! Anywhere, as long as it was away from home. She clung to her bag the whole way, knuckles white, obsessively checking her phone.
At the airport, she acted on pure autopilot. Scanning departures, she picked the next flight to Manchesterleaving in two hours. At the counter, her hands shook but her voice was steady: One ticket to Manchester, please.
Waiting to board, she sat clutching her bag, numb. People hurried by with their suitcases; kids giggled, travellers called loved ones, the world ticking away as normal while her own had been turned upside down. She told herself, over and over: Youre leaving. Youll be alright.
When the plane soared into the night, Alice pressed her forehead to the chilly window. The city below turned into a glitter of streetlights, and with each mile, her old life faded just a little more. She shut her eyes, tried to steady her breathing, and finally allowed herself to believe shed made it.
The minute she landed, she checked her phonea flurry of missed calls, all from her mum, then message after message, from anxious (Where are you?!) to furious (Get back home! Do you have any idea what youre doing?!). The last few were harshest of allaccusations, threats, ultimatums.
And then the final message, sent just half an hour ago:
Ive already submitted the forms at the local registry, thanks to some friends. James has agreed. The weddings in two weeks. Dont you dare disappearyou are required to attend.
Alice read it and, unexpectedly, let out a kind of dry laugh. Not joysomething new, a sense of release. She quickly typed back:
Not a chance. Im free now.
She hit send, turned off her phone, and took a deep breath. The unfamiliar city was humming outsiderain in the air, the smell of chips and fried onions from street vendors. For once, she had no plans, no certaintyjust her own future. For the first time in ages, she felt the choice was entirely hers.
Alice stared at her phone a while, then pulled out the SIM card and tossed it in the nearest airport bin. It felt like snipping a cord to the pastno way back now.
She glanced around; the airport hummed with bustle. Porters loaded trolleys, cabbies hustled, flight calls blared over the tannoy. Alice felt a twist of uncertaintywhere now? Where would she spend the night? Still, fear of going back was more powerful than her doubts.
She went to the information desk and shyly asked where she might find a cheap hotel. The attendant pointed her towards a small place just round the corner.
Alice paid for three nights, trying not to fidget under the receptionists curious stare. The room was tiny but spotlessa bed, a little wardrobe, a view over a car park. She sat down on the edge of the bed and finally let herself breathe. For the first time in weeks, she felt safeat least for now.
The next day, she got straight to ittrawling letting agents, tramping from café to café on the lookout for work. One place turned her downno local references. Another offered a rubbish wage. At last, luck smiled in the form of a call centre jobnot glamorous, but at least the pay would cover the basics.
Within the week, when the initial panic had faded, Alice knew she had to be careful. She walked into the police station and explained everything to a young officer at the desk:
Im worried my mum might file a missing persons report. Im not missingI left of my own accord. Shesshe hesitatedvery controlling, and she was forcing me to marry someone I dont love. I just want my own life.
The officer listened sympathetically, asked a few details, checked her documents. Alice showed her passport, and a payslip from her new job. Satisfied, he assured her, If your mum does come in, we can confirm youre safe and youve chosen to be here. Itd be best if you told her yourself, just to avoid any fuss.
Alice nodded, though she had no intention of getting in touch.
And so, her new life began. She woke early each morning, made herself tea and toast, and set off for work. After her shift, she bought groceries, cooked a simple tea, sometimes vegged out with telly or leafed through the old paperbacks left by the previous tenant. On weekends, she wandered the city, soaking up the parks and pokey cafés.
Little by little, she got used to it all. She didnt have to check in constantly, apologise for late evenings, or sit through lectures on sensible choices. She decided everything for herselfwhat to wear, what to eat, where to go. Sometimes shed pause and think, surprised at just how freeing it was to finally be herself.
Of course, there were tough days. Sometimes she really missed her old friends, the patterns of home, even the little things that used to wind her up. On those days, Alice would brew some tea and sit by her window, watching the street below, reminding herselfthis was her choice. It was nothing fancy, nothing special, but it belonged to her. And that made it the truest life shed ever led.
