I Will Always Be There For You
Oh, dont start this again! Weve talked about it a million times already. Why do you have to bring it up now? Emily waved her hand tiredly and turned back to the cooker.
Its been a thoroughly bleak morning. The day began at five when her son, Oliver, padded into her bedroom and gently shook her awake.
Mum! My throat hurts!
Half asleep, Emily pressed her lips to Olivers foreheadany trace of drowsiness vanished in a heartbeat.
Youve got a temp, sweetheart. Come on then! Emily scooped Oliver into her arms and left the room, pulling the door to. She desperately wanted to avoid Tomher husbandcomplaining all morning about lack of sleep.
After checking Olivers temperature and dosing him with Calpol, she tucked him back in. A glance at the time told her there was little point in going back to bed herself. It was easier to wait for the GP surgery to open and try for a home visit. Once sure Oliver was asleep, Emily tiptoed into the kitchen, brewed herself a coffee, and stood by the window.
This winter has been surprisingly snowy for England. Outside, the communal garden is blanketed in white, pristine except for a few tracks where early risers have hurried off to work. Emily caught sight of movement and, turning, gave an involuntary chuckle. Mrs. Bakers cat, Toby, was bounding through the snow, disappearing into drifts and popping up like a furry periscope. What possessed him to be out in this weather! Toby seemed undeterredhe was fiercely independent, staunchly refusing to use a litter tray indoors, which meant Mrs. Baker always had to let him out, no matter the hour. Tobys yowling, if the door wasnt opened sharpish, was legendary among the neighbours. But credit where it was duehe never had any accidents inside. Only yesterday, as Emily came downstairs to collect Oliver from the nursery, shed met Toby striding purposefully to the exit, complaining loudly as Mrs. Baker followed behind.
Go on with you! Always moaning, arent you! Hello, Em! Just look at this rascal! Swear he thinks hes my owner and not the other way round. Bossy with a tail, thats what he is! Stayed late at work, and now Im in for it.
Morning, Mrs. Baker! He is a bit of a character, your Toby!
Oh yes! Find another like him! Think its just my fate to raise serious mencats included…
Emily smiled, nodded, and carried on, not knowing what else to say. Mrs. Bakers son, Matthew, was indeed a thoughtful soulclever too, with a wicked sense of humour. A shame more people didnt see it. Most just saw a shy lad with thick glasses, slim and short, barely noticed by girls. But Emily had known Matthew for as long as she could remember and hed always been by her side. Hed done what he could to support her, even as a child, when her mother died.
Emilys mum, Irene, had been struck by a car at a zebra crossingshed done everything right, but it hadnt helped. For Emily, it was terrifying. Shed always believed that if you followed the rules, nothing truly bad could happen.
She and Matthew were both ten at the time. Emily, whod never experienced real loss before, just shut down. She stopped speaking and only cried, shaking her head any time someone tried to comfort her, fleeing to another room or locking herself away in the bathroom. Left alone, shed curl up in any corner and fall into an exhausted sleep. The psychologist her dad took her to sounded the alarm, urging prompt action to prevent the stress damaging her health.
It was Matthew who shattered her daze. Having lost his own father two years before Emilys mum passed, he understood her pain better than most adults could. Matthew almost moved in with Emily. Mrs. Baker never objectedshe pitied Emily. The neighbours rallied too, bringing meals and keeping an eye on her when her father had errands. Not once did Mrs. Baker complain, even when Matthew came home late after an entire day spent cheering Emily up, making her do her homework, reading aloud, begging her to play, dragging her to the ballet and gymnastics classes her mother had enrolled her in with dreams of Emily growing up healthy and graceful. Over time, the careful patient nurture of a young but extraordinarily serious boy did its work. Emily gradually melted. When they found a stray kitten on the street one afternoon and brought it to Mrs. Bakers, that was the first time since the accident that Emily spokeasking for some milk to feed their discovery. With a secret smile, Mrs. Baker handed her the bottle, whispering quietly, Thank heavens, shes come round!
The kitten stayed with Matthew, as it turned out Emilys dad, Richard, was allergic. Still, Matthew carried on as her steadfast shadow, always close by. The two were only children and found in each other the sibling-like bond and support theyd lacked. Often they didnt even need to speak aloudthey could finish one anothers sentences. The adults watched with benign approval, recognising how essential their closeness was after such early loss.
But problems arose in the later school years. Emily had grown into a striking and clever young woman, constantly surrounded by admirers. Matthew watched all this quietly, knowing that Emily paid no real attention to any of themuntil Tom came along.
Shed met Tom after falling on the icy front steps of the sports centre where she practised gymnastics.
You alright, love? Let me help you! a tall, charming lad extended his hand. Those steps are treacherousI nearly went flying myself! Are you sure youre okay?
Emily looked up into Toms earnest face and froze. Shed always dismissed love at first sight as sentimental rubbish spun by poets. Yet here it was, and she had to admit she had been wrong.
Im smitten, Matt… absolutely smitten! Hes just
What? Matthew frowned, but Emily was lost in her thoughts.
I dont know how to put it… just perfect! she twirled around the room. You could at least be happy for your best mate!
For my best mate sure. Im glad for you. Forcing a smile, Matthew excused himself.
Emily barely noticed; she was swept away. She and Tom dated for over three years before deciding they were mature enough to make their own decisions. They informed their families and filed the wedding paperwork at the registry office.
Pity I cant just have a groomsman, instead of this bridesmaid nonsense. Why cant a bride pick her best friend? Emily fussed over her wedding dress, adjusting it in the mirror as the seamstress pinned the hem.
Matthew, whod driven her to the tailors, sat on the sofa, trying to be unobtrusive, until the seamstress all but threw him out:
You shouldnt see the bride in the dress before the wedding, you know!
Hes not the groom! Emily laughed. Hes my mate.
A friend, is he mused the seamstress. Thats unusual
Whats so odd about it? Matthew joined in. Cant people just be friends? Emily, weve still got to sort the cake, hurry upsome of us have work today.
Ill be quick! Emily dashed away to change, leaving Matthew to slump on the waiting room sofa.
Later, looking back on her rushed marriage and those first years, Emily wonderedhow hadnt she seen everything in Tom that now irritated, even infuriated her? Having grown up always rescued by a knight in shining armour, shed expected to remain the cherished princess forever. But knights and fairy tales, it turned out, came in all shapes and sizes.
The first warning came half a year after their wedding, when Emily fell seriously ill. What started as an ordinary sore throatignored so she could be the perfect wifeturned into a major health crisis. When the doctor recommended a full check-up, partly on private terms, Tom bristled.
Nonsense! Weve saved for a holiday! Youre young and healthy, they just want your money. They treat you like an old ladysilly, really!
Emily stared at her husband, unsure whether to believe her ears.
Are you serious?
Of course I am!
Tom, Emilys throat tightened as it had years before, is a holiday more important to you than my health?
Youre fine, honestly! Tom hugged her, missing how she didnt reciprocate for the first time.
It was Richard, her father, who quietly paid for her examination. He said nothing, only looking thoughtful.
Recovery took the best part of a year, and some of the health problems lingered, especially with her heart. When Emily discovered she was pregnant, she was immediately marked as high risk.
Please dont take offencebut you must consider the risks seriously, the consultant told her. A pregnancy is a major strain on your body. Youre feeling alright now, but
Theres nothing to think about. Im having the baby.
In that case, well do everything we can.
And they did. The last three months saw Emily hospitalised, but Oliver was born healthy and on timethough only Emilys father and Matthew knew what it had cost her. Tom, after the birth, celebrated with such enthusiasm that he vanished for three days, phone off, forgetting entirely about his wife and newborn. Emily was frantic until Richard, stony-faced, reassured her: Hes fine, you need not worry.
That was the moment Emily really knewher life with Tom wasnt a fairy tale. Only Toms reaction to their son stopped her filing for divorce on the spot. Tom doted on Oliver, tending to him day and night, changing nappies, going for walks, spending as much time as possible with him. Yet sometimes, out of nowhere, Tom would be irritated by Oliver and ask Emily to take him awayan hour later, he was the doting father again. This strange duality unsettled Emily, but the good times still outshone the badfor now.
Her connection to Tom gradually dwindled into parallel lives, barely intersecting. While Oliver was young, chronic illness gave Emily enough to think about that she didnt dwell on her odd married life. She ferried her son to and from appointments herself, wary of asking Tom for help, since his reaction was unpredictableone time a hands-on father, another a source of drama. Exhausted, she learned to manage on her own. Richard helped her get a driving licence, watching Oliver while she trained. He later bought her a modest used Mini to help her escape Toms whims.
Richard had figured Tom out a long time ago, but he didnt interfere, waiting for Emily to make her own decision. Only once, when Oliver was two and Emily had finally collapsed from sheer exhaustion after several nights of fever and tears, did he quietly speak up.
Em, Im not here to give advice or pry. Just know youre not alone, alright?
Thanks, Dad. I know that. But Im not ready yetnot to talk, and not to decide. Toms still my husband, for now.
Richard simply hugged her in reply.
All the while, it was Matthew who quietly helped keep everything afloatshopping for medicines while Emily sat up all night with Oliver, driving them to the GP when her car broke down, dealing with repairsall always done swiftly and thoroughly. Emily sometimes felt bad for relying so much on Matthews kindness, but she couldnt help ithe was the only person she truly trusted.
Now, standing at the window, Emily thought of Matthew coming back from a work trip todayif they couldnt get a doctors home visit, he could take them to the clinic, as her car was out of commission for good, by the looks of it. Money was tight. Tom claimed every penny was tied up in his business, and her own wage only covered the basics, as she worked part-time around Olivers frequent illnesses. Thank goodness they lived in her fathers old flat, while Richard had retired to his cottage in Devon, away from the city din.
Emily glanced at the clock and rang the GP. Luckily, their regular doctor was back from leave and agreed to a home visit straight away.
She put her phone aside and started breakfast just as Tom shuffled into the kitchen, bleary-eyed.
What now? Why were you two fussing about all night?
Ollies ill, Emily replied shortly.
So you had to keep me up too? Never mind. I didnt sleep anyway. Im off for a showerscramble me some eggs, yeah? Ive a busy day.
Emily turned back to the hob in silence, cooking mostly for Oliver, who, like most sick kids, didnt fuss much but had established a taste for get-well food whenever he was under the weather. Today it was pancakesshe knew Tom liked them too, and that way, hed have no complaints.
Spoken to your dad then?
No.
What are you waiting for?
Ive made myself clearIm not even going to bring that up. Im not asking him to sign over the flat to us.
Your stubbornness is doing my head in. How long is this going to go on? I pay for this place but Im still just a glorified guest. You and Oliver are always after something, always needing money. Im slaving away, havent had a real holiday for God knows how longyet its never enough!
Toms moaning continued, but Emily had already tuned him out. She froze, feeling something inside her snapa final silent thread, woven with memories of first meetings, kisses, little kindnesses, the day they wed, and the miracle of their sonall suddenly severed.
Quietly, Emily set down the spatula and faced Tom.
Ill say this once, and I need you to listen. Today youre packing your things and moving out. Were finished, Tom. I cant live the way weve lived the past three yearsand I know youre tired of it too, Im not blind. Who paid for whatwere not discussing that now or ever. I just want us to focus on Oliverhes our son and needs both of us, whether we live together or not.
Tom looked stunned, then tried to protest, but finally gave up and tossed his fork onto the table.
You done? Think about the rubbish you just said until tonight. Hopefully youll come to your senses by then.
No, Tom, I wont. Youve known me for yearsif Ive decided, you know what that means.
It means youre losing your mind. Who do you thinkll want you now, with a kid in tow? Good luck. Let me know when youre thinking straight. Ill be at my parents.
As you like. Emily turned away, fighting the tears.
She heard the front door bang as Tom left. Emily dropped onto a chair and let herself weep until shed nothing left, before wiping her face quickly as Olivers small footsteps sounded in the hall.
Alright, my brave boy? Ready for breakfast?
Im not that hungry, Mum. My head hurts too now.
I bet pancakes would help, wouldnt they?
Yes! Oliver grinned slyly. With strawberry jam!
Of course!
After the GP came, prescribimg medicine and reassuring her, Emily got ready for the pharmacy, phone in hand ready to call her dad when there was a knock at the door. Only Matthew would knockhe inexplicably never used doorbells, and for Emily that had long been an unspoken code.
Hi.
Hi! How are you both holding up? Matthew stood there, holding a toy car set. Emily realised she couldnt remember the last time Tom had bought their son anythingnot for birthdays, not for Christmas. She bought everything for Oliver herself. Matthew, in contrast, never arrived empty handed.
Ollies under the weather again. Could you sit with him? I need to go to the chemist.
No problem. Or do you want me to go instead?
Emily handed him the list from her handbag.
Moments after he left, her phone rang.
Hello. Is that Emily Reeves?
Yes.
This is the Royal County Hospital. Your fathers just been admitted.
Whats happened? Emilys grip on the phone tightened so hard her palm hurt.
A heart attack. His condition is critical.
Im coming.
She darted about the flat, not knowing what to do first. Her father had never once mentioned heart trouble. Now, for the first time, she realised how easily, in one second, she could lose the most precious person in her life.
She dialed Tom without thinking.
Tom Its Dadhes in hospital. Heart attack.
And? What do you want me to do? Youre divorcing me, arent you?
Emily stared at the phone for a moment, then hung up.
Matthew, returning from the pharmacy, saw Emily fully dressed, standing in the hallway.
Whats happened?
Dads in hospital. Heart attack.
No more explanation was needed. Matthew dashed for his mother, Mrs. Baker, who stayed with Oliver, and then drove Emily to the hospital.
All afternoon and evening they waited, neither saying a word. At last, Emily broke the silence.
Thank you. Im so glad youre here.
Ill always be here for you, Matthew replied quietly.
I know, Matt. I really do now.
An hour later, the doctor finally appeared and found Emily sleeping on Matthews shoulder. He gently woke her.
Your father is in a ward now. The recovery will be long, but the worst has passed. You should go home. Check the visiting times with receptionyou can see him tomorrow.
Emily hugged Matthew tightly. As she did, she felt an immense weight lifta flood of sorrow and tension finally leaving her with her tears.
