Measure it with your heart, check it with your mind
Oh, girls, I’ve absolutely had enough! Yesterday my mother-in-law turned upcan you believe it?with a pot of her own stew! Her own! Apparently, my stew isnt good enough for her precious boy. Hes used to hers, of course. Where do these women even come from? Are we all destined to turn into them? If the answers yes, just stick me in some remote forest so I cant make it back home!
“Emma, take a breath,” Lizzie soothed, patting my hand. “Maybe its menopause, or shes just lonely. Your Tom’s her whole world, isnt he? What else does she have to do but foist her cooking on you? It could be worsejust say thank you and ask for seconds! Thats less work for you. Count your blessings!”
“As if! Next she’ll move in all together and Ill have to put up with all this madness full time. You remember that lingerie set we got before Christmas?”
“The present?”
“Yes. She binned it.”
“What do you mean?” Lizzie, pouring the tea, missed the cup and left a large golden stain on the tablecloth.
“It’s unhealthy, apparently. The knickers arent suitable! Can you imagine? I didnt even tell her how much it cost. She probably would have fainted on the spot!”
“Youre impossible! Shes just looking after your health and still you complain,” Lizzie giggled, but quickly sobered, “But why is she even snooping in your underwear drawer?”
“You tell me!” I slammed the napkin onto the table and started dabbing at the tea spill. “Oh bother, thisll never wash out!”
“Calm down,” said quiet Molly at last, gently taking the napkin from me and sliding my coffee closer. “Youre all wound up, Emma. Its not good for you.”
“How could I not be? Girls, it was better before we moved in hereshe never visited. When I worked from our rented flat, nobody bothered me while I got things done. But now weve bought a place, I feel like an amoeba under a microscope. She comes and goes as she pleases because she helped us with the deposit. Now Im her property, it seems…” My voice wobbled.
“Just change the locks,” Molly offered.
“And have Tom make her a new set of keys? Shes the mum, and hed never hear the end of it. I might as well file for divorce!”
“Oh, dont be dramatic! Really, Emma. When did you get so timid? You used to be the fiercest girl at school! Wheres that gone?” Lizzie huffed.
“Lost in the ashes of dashed hopes.” I took a long sip of wine and sighed. “No, youre right. Time to pull myself together and sort this out properly. Im turning into a right shrew these daysmy own childs going to be afraid of me. Yesterday, he asked why I was so angry. What am I supposed to say? That Grannys driven me round the bend? That wont do”
“Definitely not! Ill just look for an orphan for myselfno mother-in-law to make stew but me,” Lizzie laughed, waving for the waiter. “Shall we have dessert? Nerves need sugar!”
“Go on, then.” I dabbed my eyes with the napkin and managed a smile. “Oh, do you want to see the wedding cake I made last week? I couldnt believe it came off!”
The three of us bent over my phone and gasped.
“Wow!”
“Emma, what is that? How does it float? Its beautiful, simply stunning!”
“Trade secret! My son gave me the idea while building with his blocks. Delivering it made me want to sob, but Ive got another six orders lined upheaven knows how Ill get them done!”
“Rope your mother-in-law into babysitting, thenlet her be useful.”
“Oh, Lizzie, you are so naive!” I snorted. “That doesn’t interest her. She gets ill all over the place if you suggest it.”
“What if Tom and the little one visit her? On her turf, with the proper bowls, and her stew?”
I stopped, cup trembling in my hand. “Molly! Youre a genius! Theyll both be out of my way and shell have her darling boy. Ill just slip my lad a couple of sweets first so he keeps her on her toes.”
The girls burst into laughter, knowing full well my boy becomes a whirlwind after sugar. I have to keep an eagle eye at every childs party.
“Molly, what about you? Youve been quiet all evening. Hows your mother-in-law? Still leaving you alone?”
“She’s hardly had time. The wedding was only a moment ago,” I replied, licking the spoon and making a face. “Theyve overdone it with the sugar in this meringue.”
“Go and show them how its done!” Lizzie started to laugh, but stopped when she caught my expression. “Whats up?”
“I dont know, girls. Its all so quiet, and maybe it shouldnt be.” I thought of the words Sarah, my new mother-in-law, gave me on our wedding day.
“Molly, Im not everyones cup of tea, nor am I a sack of gold to be loved by all. You dont know me yetIm complicated and prickly, so we may need time to understand each other. All that matters to me is family, and Toms happiness. He chose you, and thats enough for now. I wont meddle or offer advice unless you ask for it. If you need help, Ill give it. The rest? Time will tell.
Her honesty left me reeling, but I respected it more than I could admit. Tom and I met at a friends wedding. While the bouquet-throwing scrum was gathering, he wandered over to where I stood, tottering on borrowed high heels.
Why arent you catching the bouquet? Not hoping for marriage?
No, I shrugged.
Why not? Isnt that the dream?
Not for everyone. Some women want love, not a marriage certificate.
We spent the night talking, and he walked me home, kissing my hand at the door. I stayed up, replaying the moment, picturing Grans wry smile.
Nina would have said, At last! I chuckled quietly to myself, imagining her half-closed eyes and easy smile.
Gran raised me ever since losing her son, and mum vanished off to London to work. At first, shed write and send little presents, but in time she just stopped. It hurt, but Grans arms, and soup, were always waiting at home. Later on, when Gran fell ill, everything changed. My school friends faded away, replaced by medication schedules, hospitals and studying. I realised I had to stand on my own two feet, as she begged me not to worry, but to study and make her proud. She fought hard, outdoing the doctors predictions, and when she passed, I was in uni. Mum only turned up long after the funeral, with her excuses and complaints over Gran leaving everything to me. For once, I lost it, pouring out years of silent resentment. She left in a huff and never came backand that, strangely, was that. I grieved, I raged, but then I got on with life. Lizzie found me a job at her fathers furniture company, her own love life a running joke. Family, she always said, was the real prizeher legal practice meant nothing compared to that.
We three girlsEmma, Lizzie, and mehad been friends since childhood. We grew up in very different homes: Lizzie always had everything; Emmas mum struggled to pay for bread. Grans pies kept us all together. When Mum tried to contest Grans will, Lizzie quietly spoke to herno court drama was necessary.
Soon enough, Tom came along. After two years together, we married. Lizzie caught my thrown bouquet and forcibly commandeered Toms tallest mate for a dance.
It didnt last, not that shed explain. And when Toms friend Max began visiting, Lizzie told me, Be careful around himhes not what he seems. Max was always helpful, always complimentary, but I never quite crossed into friendship with him.
Then I found out I was pregnant. The surprise was incrediblemy doctor had told us wed probably need IVF, but here we were. Tom was thrilled, though his mothers face clouded over. Later that night, he confronted her.
Mum, whats wrong?
Do you trust your wife? Her question made steam come out of Toms ears.
Absolutely. And if I hear any more like that, were done talking.
Our son Jack was born and I threw myself into motherhood. Sarah, my mother-in-law, never imposed but always helped when I asked. She even insisted I go out with my friends.
Go, socialise. Youre losing yourself. Ill watch Jack.
I never felt truly close to herthere was a pebble between us, sharp and small, always there but impossible to ignore.
One girls night, as Lizzie recounted conquests and Emma worried over in-laws, I couldnt shake a sense of unease. Then my phone rang, jerking me out of my thoughts.
Molly Sarahs voice was oddly hollow. The next moments blurred: friends slapping my cheeks, Lizzie calling a cab, Emma pressing cold water to my face. We arrived to find Sarah aged ten years, clutching Jack and asking Lizzie to come with hershe was frightened.
Tom was gone. Hed crashed on the bypass, car thrown into a lorry. I disintegrated with grief. Sarah wouldnt stay with usher sons things were at home, her only anchor.
He never let me make pancakes for him if he was with you. Said yours were better, she half-smiled as I tried, and failed, to hold myself together.
As the new year neared, the ache in my chest grew. Wed planned a trip to the Lake DistrictToms dream was to learn to ski.
Ill conquer the slopes. You build snowmen with Jack. He was terrible on skis. I conquered you, didnt I? The mountains will be easy.
I wanted to scream. I cancelled the trip, but Sarah intervened.
What if we just go, all of us, somewhere? It might help. Jack would remember it.
So, we went. It rained the whole week. Only once did we manage a walk by the sea; the grey waves crashed in and Jack squealed in delight, waiting for us to join in.
Its wild, Molly the rawness of life, Sarah murmured, arms crossed herself for warmth, eyes fixed on the horizon. I found myself reaching to hug her, surprised by my own impulse.
Thank you for staying near, she whispered, head on my shoulder.
Staying?
I could have lost you and Jack as well after Tom.
I frowned, What do you mean?
Max, she spat out the name.
What about Max?
He came to see me, a week after. Said he wanted to talk told me Jack isnt Toms. That youd gone to someone else because of our difficulties. He insinuated it was him.
I staggered back, the words hitting hard.
And you believed him? My anger scorched the air.
She grasped my arms, strong and insistent: Would I be walking with you now if I had? I threw him out. Tom trusted you absolutely, and thats all that matters. If youll let me, Molly, Id like to stay in your lives, for his sake, and for mine. Only if you want me to.
I looked at her, deciding in that long silence.
No need to ask. You are family. Like Gran used to say, family stands together or its worth nothing at all.
She smiled, and scooped Jack up. Come on, little one, youre freezing. Lets not miss dinner. Molly, tell me about your Gran.
And thats how we walked on, talking and remembering Tom, daring to imagine the future.
I never told Sarah all the detailsthat Max tried the same poison with me and Lizzie sent him packing, hissing, If he ever comes back, slam the door in his face. Hes not a friend, not even an enemyhes something worse.
I understood at last what Lizzie meant.
We spent the rest of our trip just being together. Talking, hugging Jack as he darted between us, and slowly soothing old hurts.
Six months later, I gingerly stepped into heels for Lizzie’s wedding, clutching my prize bouquet and huffing, “This is torture.”
“Beauty comes at a price,” Sarah laughed, helping with the dress. But bring your flatsyou can change later.
Jack gripped my hand, and Sarah handed us the flowers. Grab your things and lets go. Cant keep Lizzie waiting!
“Oh, heaven help me, shell never forgive me if were late!”
The wedding bustled alongeveryone rushing, rings nearly forgotten, guests joyfully muddled, Jack nearly bursting with pride as the best man. Eventually, I found Emma fussing at the cake table.
“How are you?” I squeezed her swollen belly.
Surprisingly good! Made up with the mother-in-law, else Lizzied be wedding-lessthis cakes taken years off my life though!”
Its perfect, love. Dont stress.
Lizzie pounced on us, waggling a finger, cake already missing a slice. Couldnt resist, its delicious!
Emma gasped, “Honestly, you menace!”
Queue for telling me off laterfirst dance beckons! Lizzie twirled away to her new husband.
Emma shook her head, “What am I going to do with her?” She plopped onto a chair, sighing.
Wheres your family, Molly?
Dancing.
And how are you, really?
Fine. Genuinely fine.
Do you call Sarah Mum yet?
Bit awkward.
Dont be silly. With a mother-in-law like her
I watched Sarah spinning on the dancefloor with Jack, listening to their laughter. Emma was rightshe really was Mum now, in the truest English sense. The word fit, more than Id ever known.
“Mum,” I whispered, testing it out, and nodded, finally at peace.
