John arrived home, stepped into the kitchen, and found dinner waiting for him on the table. Thats odd wheres Emily? he wondered. He walked into the bedroom, where his wife was sitting on the floor, quietly packing her things into a travel bag.
Are you going somewhere? John asked.
Theyve referred me to the hospital in London for a check-up. There are some worrying signs, Emily suddenly announced.
What do you mean, worrying? John asked in surprise. Is it is it the same thing your mum died from?
He stared at his wife, unable to believe what he was hearing.
For several days, John couldnt settle himself. He worried constantly about his wife Emily, who was now undergoing tests in London. John had stayed behind in their little village in Surrey, anxious and hopeful for news from her.
Emily had never been one to complain, and John had assumed she was in perfect health. Theyd been married for thirty years and raised two children together. Their home ran smoothly thanks to Emily. Cooking, cleaning, all the choresJohn thought thats how it was meant to be. Washing up and cookingits not a mans job, he had always believed.
Yet Emily wasnt a housewife. She was an accountant at the same company where he worked. Still, every evening, John would return from work and complain to Emily about how tired he was, then collapse onto the sofa and turn on the telly.
Emily would head straight into the kitchen, prepare dinner and lunch for the next day, then wash up, straighten the house, and iron the clothes. Housework never really ended.
Their home was always spotless and cosy. There was always proper, home-cooked food on the tablefresh and delicious. John never liked eating the same thing two days running, which meant Emily spent even more time in the kitchen. She never asked for help, nor did John offer. Why should he? That was his thinkingit just wasnt what men did.
When Emily took a day off work for a doctors appointment, John was baffled.
Whats wrong? Are you feeling poorly? he asked.
I hope its nothing, Emily replied, just not been myself lately.
Maybe you need some vitamins? John suggested. Its spring, after all.
Maybe, Emily said with a shrug.
That evening, when John returned from work, Emily explained she had to go to the hospital in London for more tests.
What? Why? John was visibly worried.
There are concerns about my health, John. So theyve referred me on to see a specialist, she replied.
What sort of concerns? Is it the thing your mum had?
Its only a suspicion, she tried to reassure him, though shed already had a good cry while he was out. Ive already got my train ticketIm leaving at eight tomorrow morning. There are cutlets and rice for tea, salad on the table. I need to finish packing and want an early night.
Have you eaten? John asked.
Im not hungry, Emily replied, focusing on her packing.
John stared at her, barely processing the fact that she might truly be seriously ill. Emily, his practical, lively Emily, who never complained, just suddenly now this.
I think Ive packed what Ill need, Emily said softly.
Dont forget your phone charger, John reminded her.
Yes, thats right, Ill put it in now. Thanks, John. Arent you going to have dinner?
Im not hungry either…
Have I upset you? she asked gently.
He nodded, unable to speak.
John looked at the travel bag. It brought back memories of four years earlier, when theyd planned to travel to the seasideshed bought this same cheerful bag for the trip. Shed been so excited; it would have been their first real holiday in ages, always spending holidays gardening at the allotment instead.
Emily had bought two bright swimming costumes, a lovely dress, and a straw hat. But they never made it to the seaside; Johns boss had asked him to cover for a sick colleague and promised a generous bonus. It seemed silly to refuse, especially since they wanted new wardrobes in the bedroom. The bonus would be perfect for that.
John thought at the time that Emily was fine about itshe even seemed pleased for him. But late that night, hed heard her quietly sobbing. She said it was just a bad dream. Only now did John realise shed cried because the seaside escape shed dreamed of had disappeared.
The following year, something else came up, and Emily never mentioned the holiday again. For John, it was a relief. He preferred to stay at their allotment anywayso much to do, and after work, it was nice to have friends round for a barbecue or take a dip in the river nearby. Why spend money travelling when home was so comfortable?
Now Emily was packing the same bag, but not for an exciting break, but instead to head to hospital for tests. The thought that something serious could be wrong filled him with dread.
He couldnt eat that evening. That night, he lay awake for hours, beside Emily, hearing her softly sob. He wanted to hug her and comfort her, but hesitated for reasons he couldnt explain.
In the morning, John walked her to the coach stop. Before she boarded, they hugged, and he found it nearly impossible to let her go. He watched the coach drive away, his eyes brimming with tears.
Emily, he whispered to himself, I just want you to be alright
He felt completely empty inside, but forced himself out the door for work. Getting stuck into the daily routine helped distract him, but coming home was painful. The house felt hollow without her, nothing seemed worthwhile. He forced himself to reheat the leftover dinner and managed a few bites.
Trying to calm himself, he turned on the TV, but nothing was interesting. He shut it off and pulled an old photo album from the shelf.
Flipping through, he found photos from when he and Emily had first married. She had been so pretty, just so delicate. Of course, she was still beautifuljust different then. He remembered meeting her for the first time at his mates birthday in Brighton. Emily hadnt come aloneshe had a boyfriend, and John had arrived with a girlfriend of his own. But as soon as he saw her, John had fallen instantly in love. If anyone had told him that such a thing as love at first sight existed, hed have laughed in their face. Yet it had happenedto him.
That night he broke up with his girlfriend, Kate, who stormed out in tears. Not long after, she got together with Victor, whod fancied her since school, and they were soon married.
As for Emily, John had to persist. Even after shed broken up with her boyfriend, she didnt immediately return his affection. But in time, she did, and they built a life together.
John turned page after page, reliving wedding days, Christmases, childrens birthdaysall the happiest times. Hed been so lucky, yet hed never really appreciated it. When had he last told Emily he loved her? Complimented her? He couldnt remember. Hed hardly said thank you for a good meal, thinking it all went without saying. As if a wife simply must look after her husband.
Now, looking back, John saw how Emily had held the whole household together, quietly shouldering every responsibility. When he was unwell, she fussed, made him soup, listened to his woes, and cared for him. When she was unwell, she just took something for it and went off to work.
The thought of losing her terrified him. For days, he functioned on autopilot, speaking to her on the phone each day but gleaning no concrete news. Restless and anxious, John couldnt forgive himself for having taken her for granted.
Then, one evening, her voice came down the line: John, Ive got good news! Its not what they thought. I do have some health issues, but nothing too serious.
Really? John cried. Oh Emily, I cant tell you how relieved I am
A few days later, John waited for her at the coach station, clutching a bunch of her favourite white lilies.
John, you shouldnt have spent on flowers, Emily scolded, but smiled anyway. Thank you, theyre lovely.
I was so worried about you, John replied, hugging her tightly. I love you, Emily. Im sorry.
Sorry for what? Emily replied in surprise.
I havent been the best husband these years
What makes you say that? You havent been unfaithful, have you?
No, never! John said firmly. Its just I havent cared for you enough, I havent done my share. But things are going to be different from now on. And I have a surprise for you.
What is it?
Ive bought us tickets. In a month, our holiday startsand were going to the seaside.
The seaside? But what about the allotment?
Forget the allotment! John laughed, waving a dismissive hand. We could sell it, you know. We can buy our vegetables at the market.
I hardly recognise you, John.
I hardly recognise myself. I was so scared of losing you Now I know I need to treasure you, Emily. Youre the most precious thing in my life. I love you.
Oh, John! Emily beamed through her tears. Maybe this all had to happen for me to hear words like that from you. Come on then, lets go home I love you too.
Sometimes it takes a real scare to realise what truly matters. When we take those we love for granted, we risk losing the happiness right before our eyes. Life is too short not to cherish each other every single day.
