Fit for a Princess
Look at her, all dressed up! Proper people go to work in the morning, you know, not swanning around in those white trousers like her!
Oh, but you never see her walking anywhere! Always in that huge car of hers. Like a one-woman bus!
Be thankful shes got clothes on at all! Did you see what shes got round her neck?
No, what is it?
A tattoo! Thats what! Who does things like that? Looks like shes been inside, honestly! Still young, and already covered in ink! What would her mum have said if she could see her?! No one keeping an eyelost soul, that one…
The bench outside the block came alive as everyone watched Emily disappear into the morning.
Can you blame them for gossiping, really? Bags full of groceries at their feet and no one eager to head home to the endless routine waiting inside. Kidsbig or smalldinner, tidying, more of the same. Joys in short supply these days, unless you count those rare holidays. Mostly its just worries: how to feed the kids, help them out if theyre stuck, bring little treats for the grandkids. Nothing makes you happier than those little ones. Well, not all of them. Look at Mrs. Greens lottold her outright not to wait for grandchildren, since having babies isnt the thing now. Its all about jetting off to the Costa del Something and not having a care in the world. How do they do it? Must be a bit like EmilyNatashas girl.
And she used to be nice enough, you know! Went to school, polite as anything. Now look at her! Since her mum passed, shes gone right off the rails. Idling about all day, not working. Not even studying! Jane, Mrs. Browns daughter, said Emilys doing God knows whattattoos, would you believeset up her own place, apparently. The worlds gone mad.
When her dad showed back up a few years ago, everyone thought hed finally put her straight. Some hope. Bought her that monstrosity of a car that eats up half the carpark, then buggered off and left the poor girl to fend for herself. Shes still a baby really! Just turned twenty. How can you just abandon someone like that? What if she brings home the wrong sort? Shell lose the flat her mum left hernot to mention that behemoth of a car that nobody can stand.
Oh! There she goes! Where off to now? Who knows! Didnt even glance back. Fit for a princess, that one! Strutting in her white trousers
The truth is, Emily didnt spare her neighbours jabberings a moments thought. She didnt have time. Life was an endless list, and today was already absolutely stacked. She wished every day was a few hours longer. Her mum always used to say she never managed her time properly, but shed have to learn.
Emily, time management changes everything! Some people flap around and never get anywhere, always moaning about how lifes hard and nothing gets done. They envy the ones who get everything sorted, but its simple. People who make friends with Time, they manage so much, sometimes everything.
But how do you make friends with Time, Mum?
Dont insult it. Dont waste it. Work out what matters to you and give it your attention. But dont forget to leave time for a bit of fun. Life cant be all chores. Everyone needs a rest, a laugheven a little bit of silliness now and then. Else youll break. Youre not made of steel, love. If you dont step back once in a while, youll run yourself into the ground. Miserable. Angry. No good for anyonenot even you. But dont go loafing for England either! Youll start to rot if you do. So sort your time, allow yourself some fun, but dont overdo it. When it all feels under control, youll see, its better for everyone…including me.
Emily remembered all her mums advice, but actually following itwell, easier said than done. Shed even bought a posh diary, but it didnt really help. What could she do? Every job needed doing at once, and none of them wanted to wait their turn. Like today, three lectures and shed barely make it to one because two customers insisted only she could see them, and shed promised to call on Kateand if you visit Kate, then, of course, youve got to see Sasha too, and thats never a quick one. Then she had to nip round to see Tom and help him pack, and chat to the new kids before next weeks trip, and she didnt even know their names yet. If only Time would go a bit slower
The traffic jam Emily was stuck in started moving at last, so she pressed down on the accelerator, the car springing to life smooth as butteras if to say, Come on, well get there, promise! Why do you think your dad gave me to you, anyway? To save as much precious time as possible!
She patted the steering wheel with a grin.
Cheers, Dad.
If youd told her a few years back shed thank her dad for anything, shed have laughed in your face. Shed hated him as long as she could remember.
Mum never said a bad word about him, mindalways said he was clever, and told Emily she took after him. But Emily just couldnt wrap her head around how someone so clever could leave his baby, never once look back.
That bitterness stacked up quietly, stifling her. She remembered school dancessat in the corner in her fancy dress, watching the others twirl with their dads. She had no one to dance with, and it stung so much, she couldnt even cryjust stared out, refusing to turn her head.
In school, when someone upset her, shed grit her teeth and give as good as she got, secretly jealous of the girls whod screech, Ill tell my dad, just you wait!
And she properly fell out with her best mate Natalie right before they finished school together. They were discussing uni plans when Natalie breezed, Dad says I can go wherever. Hell pay if I dont get a grant, and if I do, hell buy me a car with the spare cash. Emily and Natalie had been close since they were tiny, but in that second, she knew it was over.
She wasnt jealousjust deeply, sharply wounded. Nat knew everything. She knew how much Emily longed to have a dad. And she never passed up the chance to dig it in.
Still, envy wasnt Emilys thing. She and her mum had a fine lifeholidays abroad even, not to mention nice clothes and a proper phone for her sixteenthall a mum could give.
But the phone wasnt the main thing she got that birthday. She was still fiddling with the ribbon on a little giftbox when the one person shed always wished to see appeared in the doorway. She caused an absolute sceneshouting, crying, wild with tears, pushing her mum away, spitting, Youre a traitor! Why is he here? I never want to see him!
She had no idea then that her mum was hiding test results already, and soon their lives would hang, for just a moment, at an unbearable highthen come hurtling down, taking everything solid with it. After that, there was no firm ground. Nothing made sense except this dreadful mess, like one of those overcooked English puddings she hated as a kid, thick and sticky, sucking up all the light, all the hopeuntil there was only her mum, holding her hand, demanding she listen.
Its my fault, Emily! Your dad and I splitting up, keeping you from himall on me. Blame me.
Why?! Mum, why? What could possibly make you take my dad from me
Ill tell you, but just let me get through it.
So Emily learnt.
Her mum explained how young and clueless theyd been when they married, that shed carried Emily while both families blamed them for every misery imaginable. Emily wasnt wanted. She broke two sets of plans. Her dad had to quit his studies and work; her mum never went back to university after maternity leave. And all the grudges, all the little resentmentsespecially the fact Emily was a girl, not the prized son both families wantedeventually tore them apart. Mum left with Emily, went to live with a kind aunt, and her dad didnt even know she was gone for good.
He tried to find you, wrote letters, rang up, her mum said, But I told him you werent his. I heard it so many times, I started to believe it. I just thoughtfine, if thats what they all want.
Who wanted that? Who told you that?
Everyone. Im sorry, Emily, I just cant talk about it anymore. I did what seemed right, even if now I know it wasnt at all.
When Emily finally tore her hand out of her mums grip, she whacked the windowsill with her fist so hard her cactusgift from Nataliewobbled, soil speckling the clean white paint. Every crumb of dirt felt like a word her mum had just uttered. Oh, what a messjust like that.
She fetched a cloth and swept it up, but it took effort to get every last bit. Afterwards, she sat at her mums bedside, as she used to when little, and said simply, Tell me everything. No more lies. Understood?
I wont lie anymore.
So she learnedthe full story, or as close as shed ever get, and though she had more questions than answers, it finally dawned on her: Lifes just odd. One day everything makes sense, the next, extra details arrive and shatter your precious little world. But youve got to muddle through. No instructions, just you.
Emily never really knew if she forgave her mum, but she felt grateful at least that shed had the truth in the endeven if she suspected there was more shed never know, hidden away in her mums quiet bedside talks with her dad, hands clasping her mothers thin wrists. The real answers, she reckoned, stayed behind that bedroom door, through nights when the painkillers wore off and her father wept, barely seen.
She never asked her dad about it. Didnt want to stir it all up. And anyway, there was so much to do. He flat-out refused to leave her with her aunt, said, Ill go, once youre at least eighteen. But until then, Ill try and be as invisible as you want.
Shed snorted, Invisible? Youve been invisible my whole life! Dont you dare disappear again! I want you around, Dad
Her mum, Natalia, lasted almost two yearsa miracle longer than the doctors had given her. It was agony, but it was also the happiest, bitterest time Emily could remember. The time felt so short she wanted to scream.
It was then Emily started to draw. She didnt know whydoodled before, sure, but never gave it much thought.
Oi, not bad! Dad once said, catching her at it.
Have a look at this and he whipped off his t-shirt. Emily gaspedhis back was alive with a colourful tattoo, so beautiful her own work felt childish.
My mate did it. Want a word with him? Maybe you could learn, he offered.
Id love that!
No one in the flats noticed when Emily left. For nearly a year she lived with her dad in London, learning her craft, before homesickness lured her back.
I want to come home, Dad
Instead of arguing, he helped her pack and vanished for a few weeks. When he returned, he brought her things into her old flat, dropped a set of car keys on the kitchen table, then another folder beside them.
Whats that? she asked.
That, love, is your very own tattoo studio. I sold my place and got you a spot right in the city centre. Its tiny but perfect for you. Les, your teacher, sorted out equipment for youitll arrive soon. Work hard, learn your stuff. Youve got a job, but dont forget to get a proper qualification. School isnt everything, you know?
Emily listened, barely believing it. Even after shed done her first tattoo in her own spacewith biker-neighbour Alan cheering her on, despite his wifes moansshe could hardly breathe for the strangeness of good luck.
Dad helped her set it all up, handled the advertising, then packed his bags.
Where are you going? she blurted.
Back home, love. Familys a mess, and they need me. But you know Im always around, right?
I know but I wish youd stay.
So do I, but I have to go
After waving him off, Emily threw herself into work and uni, hiring a couple of assistants almost straight away. It was during this whirlwind of running about that she first met Kate.
Kate arrived late one afternoon, sharply dressed but with that tired, undone lookposh bob grown out, expensive coat, but eyes dull, nails unpolished. She looked utterly lost.
Excuse meis the tattoo artist in?
Emily looked up from her laptop and piles of lecture notes. Thats me.
Dont be silly. Could you get the proper artist?
Emily glanced again. People could be so judgy, but she just rose and handed over her album of sketches.
These are mine. If you like them, tell me what you have in mind.
Here, on my wrist, Kate said, rolling up her sleeve.
So Emily locked the door, just as her late client was parking outside.
Come have a seat! Lets get started, she said, lowering the blinds.
Will it hurt? I know it will, Kate murmured, settling back with just one word: Sasha.
Emily didnt prod. Only later, bumping into Kate at the hospital while visiting her aunt, did she learn that Sasha was her daughter.
You did my tattoo, Kate said shyly, Thank youits beautiful.
Is Sasha…?
Shes my daughter. Want to meet her?
Without hesitation: Definitely!
Sasha, a tiny girl in quirky glasses, instantly latched onto Emily, dragging her toward the hospital park.
Have you got any nuts? Or seeds? What do you feed the squirrels with, anyway?
What squirrels?
There are loads! Mum says I give them so many nuts, theyll fall out of the trees, theyre getting so fat!
They wontsquirrels are always jumping about. They dont get fat.
They wont? Youre clever! Sasha giggled.
Not that clever. Im still learning.
And with that, they were friends.
Sasha charmed Emily at onceso serious yet so cheeky: My names Alexandra Kate Smith, she announced, Nice to meet you!
Beautiful name, smiled Emily, Im Emily Anne Parker. Now were properly introduced.
Childs laughter rang through the pines, and Emily spotted something lighten in Kates face.
Next time, Emily came with pockets full of nuts for the squirrels.
The ins and outs of Sashas treatment took time to come out, but as the women grew closer, trust blossomedgentle, careful, like walking on a frozen pond.
Its not the end of the world, Kate said one day, cupping her tea in both hands. When I saw you that evening, the doctors said there was little hope. Then a new surgeon cameTom Spencer. He said it wasnt hopeless after all.
So why are you crying now? Emily questioned, Isnt that a good thing?
They operated on Sasha yesterday. Shes in critical care. I cant see her till tomorrow. Im terrified, Emily. Im on my own. Theres no one to talk to.
Wheres Sashas dad?
He left before she was born. Im not perfect, you knowI just wanted a child for myself, picked someone I thought fit. Nothing more, nothing less. He didnt love me either. So, that was that.
Doesnt matter. Whats done is done. Youve got Sasha now.
I have.
Dont you dare give up, Emily said, raising her voice. Look at your wristcant you see I picked the brightest colours to remind you? Do right by your little girl, okay?
Im not giving up, Kate whispered, tears running freely.
They spent that night talking, crying, and laughing in the studio, and the next morning Emily shooed Kate off to the hospital, fussing her hair: Go onSasha will be scared of you if you go in looking all wild!
In the end, everything went well. Toms clever hands had worked a miracle.
When can I see the squirrels again? Sasha sulked from her hospital bed.
Soon! Once youre home, well take Emilys big car and drive to Hyde Park, where there are even more squirrels!
Why? Sasha blinked.
For more treatment, sweetie. Operations done but now we need to get your eyes working their best. Uncle Les, Emilys friend, has sorted everything in London.
Sasha soon lost interestshe was thrilled about visiting parks with Emily, and nothing else mattered.
Mum!
Yes, darling?
Will Tom come too?
No, love, hes got too much work. Besides, you mustnt call grown-ups by their first names!
I can! Because he loves my Emily! Sasha declared, as Kates mouth fell open.
Whered you get that idea?!
Its obvious! Sasha beamed, Youre as silly as Emilyshe doesnt get it either! Kids see everything, Mum.
And honestly, it was hard to deny. After Kate and Sashas trip to London, Emily and Tom exchanged fussy, polite small talk and parted ways, neither bold enough to reach out first.
Meanwhile, Emily turned the studios car into a mini-bus for kids needing a lift to treatment, always fully stocked with snacks and a tablet for cartoons. Tom kept meaning to ask what inspired her, but lost his nerve every time.
Everything changed after Sasha returned, dragging Kate back to the hospital.
I want to tell Tom something, insisted Sasha.
What? Kate asked.
I just do, Mum!
So, Tom took her aside solemnly.
Why dont you say anything, Tom?
Say what, Sasha?
That you like Emily.”
Its complicated, Sasha.
Its not! Grown-ups make everything hard. She likes you too!
I know.
So tell her!
Ive got nothing, Sasha. No home, just a rented room near the hospital. Emilys sortedflat, car, business. I cant offer anything.
Isnt love enough? Sasha peered at him, wise beyond her years.
Sometimes its not.
At this, Sasha gave up, muttered something in his ear that made him laugh, and then hustled Kate out, hell-bent on seeing Emily.
Sasha talked things over with Emily too, and you know what? It worked.
That evening, locking up her studio, Emily finally admitted to herself what Sasha had seen all alongmaybe it was time to stop letting life slip by.
She didnt spot Tom straight away in the carpark, but there he was, tall and familiar, and just said, Hi.
Within a few months, the bench outside Emilys block was buzzing again.
Whos that young bloke shes moved in? Nobody knows anything about him! Probably after her flat, you mark my words!”
He seems decent enough.
Oh, come on! Yours look decent too, Gert, but you know what they get up to!
Lets call Emilys dad, one murmured, Hell sort it out.
Hes around!
Really? When?
I saw him just the other day. Somethings definitely afoot.
And something was.
Because soon enough, they saw Emily in whitedress like out of a filmher back tattoo suddenly on display for all, even making trendy Mrs. Green gasp.
They saw Tom, leading his bride as Sasha cackled at her own little jokeshed just sold Emily to Tom and was delighted with herself.
Kate stood off to the side, tears streaming as she straightened Emilys veil and waved off any questions.
Oh, let me have a cry for once! These are happy tears
Then there were the strangers with flowers, who hugged Emily like one of their ownno one quite knew who they were, or why Emily kicked off her heels for trainers, saying no one in their right mind drives in wedding shoes.
No eyebrows were raised when Tom scooped her up, popped her in the car, tied her laces for her (trainers produced from Kates magic bottomless bag), and they drove off together.
All a bit different, isnt it? the bench muttered as the cars disappeared.
Well shes fit for a princess, isnt she?
Yeahproper princess, that one.And while the blocks gossipy chorus faded into the gentle dusk, Emilys car took the last corner out of sight, windows down, laughter rising up to meet the summer sky. In the backseat, Sasha waved out both windows, blowing kisses, Kate still sniffling but smiling, and Toms hand resting in Emilys, solid as a promise.
They drove nowhere fancyjust far enough for the citys grit to slip awaypulling in at the edge of the park, where trees whispered and squirrels darted through the twilight. Kate let Sasha run wild. Emily sat on the grass, tracing gentle lines on Toms palm as he told her all the things hed been too afraid to say.
“Ive never known how lifes meant to go,” Tom confessed, voice unsteady, “But with you, I want to work it out.”
“Me too,” Emily smiled, and something weighty inside her heart finally settled, soft as moss, sure as dawn.
After a while, Kate joined them and scattered sunflower seeds for luck. Sasha danced barefoot, twirling in the grass, calling, “Come on, Mum! Come on, Emily! This is what princesses dorun, and spin, and get dirty!”
So they didall of them, shoes forgotten, laughter sharp and sweet, dusk painting everything gold and blue. And later, as the stars blinked into being, Emily lay back, cheek pressed to Toms shoulder, watching the first of the night.
“Think itll last?” she whispered, more to herself than anyone.
Tom squeezed her hand, Kate hummed some old lullaby, and Sashas soft snore drifted on the air, trust bundled up in sleep.
Emily closed her eyes, breathed in the night, and for the first time in a very long while, she didnt rush ahead or look back. She juststayed, happy, right there.
Not a princess, never wanted to be. Just herself at last. And that, as the stars could testify, was magical enough.
