When Mary came to collect her son from the nursery, he dashed into her arms and whispered fervently into her ear:
“Mum, Mum, can we take Jacks granny home with us?”
“Whats that? Which granny? Whatever are you talking about?” Mary asked, a little perplexed. “Come along now, get your coat on, your dads waiting in the car.”
“That granny, over there!” Tom insisted, pointing to an elderly lady slowly leading a young boy towards the door. “Jacks granny! Im telling you!”
“Dont be silly, love. Shes someone elses granny.”
“So what?” Tom began to whine. “Just ask her if shell be my granny too. Please.”
“You already have grandmothers, two of them. Why would we need another? Enough of your daydreaming. Put your trousers on.”
“Oh, Mum” Tom pulled a miserable face and started tugging on his warm trousers. “My grannies arent proper grannies. But Jacks is. Shes a real one.”
“And whats wrong with our grandmas, then?” Mary tried to smile reassuringly. “Theyre as real as can be! Theyre your dads and my mums, not like Jacks.”
“It doesnt matter,” Tom looked up at her, eyes full of longing. “So what that they had you? They never became grannies.”
“What do you mean theyre not grannies? Of course they are! Youre ours, so our mums are your grandmas, as simple as that.”
“I dont want automatic grannies, Mum! I want real grandmas,” he persisted.
“And what, pray, makes a real grandma?” asked Mary, trying to keep her patience.
“Like Jacks granny.”
“And how exactly is she different from your own?”
“Because Jacks granny lets him call her Granny, loud as you like,” Tom explained. “One of my grannies makes me call her Jane, and the other tells me off if I yell Granny! at the park.”
“Tells you off? Hows that then?”
“She says, Whatever do you mean, calling me Granny? Im not that old! Dont embarrass me in front of the neighbours!”
“My mum says that to you, does she?”
“Yes. She even said you leave me with her too much. Jacks granny says Jack is the best thing in her whole life. I want to be the best too.”
“I can hardly believe my mum would say that” Mary gazed at Tom, her sternness softening. “Come on, love, finish getting dressed. Did Jane tell you off for calling her Granny as well?”
“She doesnt tell me off,” Tom grumbled. “She just ignores me when I call her that. If I call her Jane, she praises me. And, Mum, tell mewhy dont my grannies know how to make proper food?”
“What?” Mary stared at him in confusion. “What do you mean? Did they leave you hungry last time you stayed?”
“Yes,” Tom said quickly. “They did.”
“Really? Thats not true! They always give you the best food, better than I ever had as a child. Ive seen it myself!”
“Well” Tom made a face. “Sliced ham, pasties, saladsIs that really the best?”
“And what do you want then?”
“Pancakes.”
“Pancakes?” Mary echoed.
“Yes. Or crumpets. Jacks granny told him today as they were leaving, Well go home and Ill make you some lovely hot crumpets, with clotted cream and jam. Remember how we made strawberry jam together in the summer? Jack nodded so happily.” He sighed. “My grannies never make jam with me.”
“Oh, Tom” Mary looked at her son with such tenderness. “How about we have tea and jam tonight? Well pop into the shop and pick some up.”
“Its not the same from the shop”
“How do you know?”
“Ive already asked my grannies to get it, they already have”
“Have you asked them to make crumpets?”
“Yes” Tom pulled his coat on with a dejected air. “They say it takes too long, and take me out for pancakes at the café. But theyre always cold, and the jams too sweet. Jacks granny says nothing beats crumpets straight off the pan.”
“Welltrue enough,” Mary murmured wistfully, taking Tom by the hand as they left for the car park, where Toms dad was waiting. “That really is the best. I remember my own gran making them for me, once upon a time”
As they made their way to the car, Mary took out her phone and called her friend.
“Susan, are you home?” she asked, her tone apologetic.
“I am,” came the reply.
“Could I ask a huge favour? Please dont laugh.”
“What is it?”
“You once boasted about your amazing crumpetssaid your son gobbles up as many as youll make.”
“Yes, well?”
“Would you mind giving me your recipe?” Mary asked. As Susan chuckled, Mary pleaded, “I told you not to laugh! I really do need it.”
“Why not come round and Ill teach you in person?”
“When?”
“Right now!”
“I cant,” Mary faltered. “Im collecting Tom from nursery. Hes with me, and my husbands in the car.”
“Bring the whole lot along! Our boys can meet. See you soonIm waiting!” Susan replied, ending the call.
The very next day, Mary took time off and went to her mothers house, determined to teach her how to make crumpets. Her mum grumbled about how modern grannies oughtnt be chained to the stove, but Mary said firmly:
“Mum, if its such an inconvenience, Ill never leave Tom with you again. Do you know the difference between a real grandma and an automatic one? And why have you never made jam in the summer? Youve got a grandson now!”
Her mother looked ready to object sharply, but when she saw the resolute look in Marys eyes, she thought better of it, and said nothing at alljust in case.
When Vera Arrived to Pick Up Her Son from Nursery, He Threw Himself into Her Arms and Whispered Passionately in Her Ear:
