They say that if you marry a very intelligent man, hell never strayhell always be loyal to his wife and truly understand what love and care mean. Thats what my mother and grandmother used to tell me time and again. So, even as I grew older, I never once considered a man whose intentions seemed questionablethere was simply no sense in going down that road. Why bother? Then, one day through mutual friends, I met Philip.
Philip had finished his studies at a technical university, a sharp-minded and ambitious fellow. Id attended university too, though I read English literature. Still, we had plenty to talk about. We started seeing each other, spending tucked-away moments in cosy pubs or long walks through the park. I genuinely enjoyed his company and felt completely at ease in his presence. After a year, when he asked me to marry him, I said yes.
We moved into the little flat my grandmother had left me in Croydon. It was smalla single bedroombut as long as it was just us, it suited us well enough. Then I fell pregnant, gave birth to our son, and a year later, a daughter followed.
Space was tight, and our coffers were always running low. Thats when Philip decided to try his hand at business. I stayed at home to look after the children and always did my utmost to support him. More than once the money ran out completely, leaving us with nothing but the hope things would change. We kept at it, certain that, one day, everything we dreamed of would be ours. After several years of hard graft, our business finally flourished. We began to live comfortably; our children were able to attend the best schools and then went off to good universities. I had freedom nowto take up painting, to dabble in gardening, to do whatever I fancied.
Philip also had his own pastimeshed often go on hiking trips with his mates for the weekend. It never bothered me. He was a wonderful provider, and he certainly earned his right to some time to himself. Our relationship was solid, always built on mutual love and respect. Honestly, life was good. I never dreamed things could turn so suddenly.
One weekend, Philip fell ill. The ambulance was called, and within hours, he was goneas if hed simply vanished, leaving no trace behind. For the children and me, there was, of course, dreadful grief from losing the man we loved. But we were also struck by a revelationnews none of us could possibly have foreseen. It came to light that, for the last five years, Philip had been having an affair with a younger woman, little more than our daughters age. Thats where hed gone on his holidays. He left everything behind for herthe business, the house, even the car and the cottage in Kent. We were left with nothing at all.
I was utterly devastatedthere are no words for the heartbreak. I couldnt comprehend how he could do such a thing, calmly walking through life bearing the knowledge that his own family would be left out in the cold, with barely a roof over our heads. I have no idea how to carry on.
