Much later, fortune seemed to come full circle.
I was only eighteen when I found out I was pregnant. My parents didnt support me at allthey felt I was far too young to have a child. My husband, Thomas, had just enlisted in the army. Both grandmothers echoed the same sentiment:
The baby is your responsibility, my mother told me bluntly. I dont want to look after your child now.
My mother repeated herself, cold and unyielding. My mother-in-law wouldnt even speak to me. I ended up moving in with my aunt on my fathers side.
Aunt Margaret was thirty-eight then and childless, having devoted her life to her career. Unlike my parents, she didnt judge them:
I understand themin those early years, things were rough. They worked hard for you. There were times when there was barely enough food. Your father used to unload lorries at night just to earn a bit extra.
But theyre comfortable now. Dads got a good salary and a flat with two bedrooms. Mums working too. And now Im about to have a baby.
Dont you think theyll care at all? I asked Aunt Margaret.
They just want to live for themselves these days. You shouldnt judge them. Im sure, in time, their hearts will soften.
With no support from them, I packed up and moved in with Aunt Margaret.
When Thomas came back from the army, our son Ben was already eighteen months old. My mother-in-law never came to see her grandson while Thomas was away. My parents only visited twice.
Thomas started working as a car mechanic, wanting to finish his studies as well, but it didnt work out. We still lived with Aunt Margaret. When Ben began nursery and I found a job, Aunt Margaret had to relocate for work, so we moved into a rented flat. Not long after, Thomass grandmother passed away.
My mother-in-law sold the grandmothers flat, did the renovations herself, and bought all sorts of things she fancied. Thomas asked her not to sell it, even offered to pay her monthly and buy it back, but she wouldnt budge.
Why should I give up my interests and my life? I’ve always wanted to renovate. Would you do it all for me? she snapped at Thomass request.
Five years later, our daughter Emily was born. By then, we knew we needed a home of our own. Thomas started working abroad, but saving for a flat wasnt easy. I stayed with the kids in the rented place.
My mother, meanwhile, lived alone in her three-bedroom flat after my father divorced her two years ago, but sadly, there was no space for me or the kids. Moving in with my mother-in-law wasnt possible eithershe was perpetually doing up her home and was certainly in no hurry to help.
Thomas worked overseas. After several years, we finally managed to buy our own flat with no help from anyone.
Now, Ben is finishing Year 8 and Emily is in Year 2. They know the value of money; weve scrimped and saved. We dont struggle anymore. We each have our own car, and every year we go on holiday by the seaside.
Theres only one person we truly owe: Aunt Margaret. She can call us anytime for help, and we are always there.
Our parents, on the other hand, have faced hard times. Mum lost her job recently and rang asking for support, but I refused.
My mother-in-law is in a similar situation. Shes retired but wants to maintain her comforts, having spent all the proceeds from selling the old flat years ago. Thomas told her to sell the spacious, renovated place and buy a one-bedroom flat.
Thomas and I owe nobody anything. We treat our children differently from how our parents raised us. We’ll always help them, no matter what. And I like to believe when we’re old, they’ll help us too.
