My grandmother was a difficult person, at times downright unpleasant.
My parents divorced when I was very young I honestly don’t remember anything about my father. We moved in with my grandmother when I was five, and she raised me throughout most of my childhood.
She was tough, stern, and expected nothing but hard work and obedience. I cant recall a single pleasant thing about her.
Unlike most people who reminisce about their childhood, I prefer not to revisit mine at all. Theres nothing I want to look back on. My mother never stood up for me, and there was nowhere to escape to it was the 90s in England. All I could do was dream of having some money and a job. We simply had to make do. My grandmother controlled everything, barking orders at both me and my mum so that life always went her way.
Thats just how we lived. In public, we pretended everything was fine.
When I reached Year 6, my mum’s life took a turn for the better. She met a man and moved in with him. A year later, she brought me along too. He wasn’t especially fond of me, but he wasnt cruel either. After years of clashing with my grandmother, living with my stepdad actually felt relaxing almost blissful by comparison.
Grandma disapproved of their relationship, but mum simply seized the chance to live away from the family tyrant. They havent spoken since.
I telephone my grandmother now and then.
I call her once a month, but I have to brace myself beforehand for quite a while. Our conversations are brief and superficial. To avoid a tidal wave of negativity, I focus on sharing only positive news we swap a few polite phrases, nothing more. Twice a year, on birthdays and name days, I drop by with flowers and a cake. Half an hour is more than enough for me. Thats how we keep in touch.
My life now is good I have a wonderful husband, a small child, and a close-knit family. Recently, my husband and I decided to buy a flat with a mortgage in another city. Last year, my grandmother turned eighty.
Before this, she managed everything herself, even looked after her household alone. Lately, things have begun to slip.
Grandma is quite withdrawn, and she cant even leave the house anymore, let alone cook. Most of the time, shes lying down, though she can still move about the house. Shes been unwell recently the neighbours have helped her with everything. The truth is, she needs proper care now.
Grandma has plenty of distant relatives who keep phoning me with nothing but blame! They cant reach my mum she and her husband live abroad. So they reckon its my duty.
But I know what sort of hell it would be. Yes, she raised me, cared for me, taught me. And, in a way, its my turn to repay the debt. I just dont want to. She didnt love me at all when I was growing up. Although Ive managed to let go of some resentment toward her words and actions, forgiveness still eludes me. At the same time, I feel guilty, knowing I ought to help the old woman.
The best solution would be to hire a carer, but we simply dont have the money. I have my child, we’re paying our mortgage, and my son frequently falls ill.
What am I supposed to do?
Is a granddaughter bound to care for her elderly grandmother, or does she have the right to say no especially when she wants neither an inheritance nor anything from her? She wishes for no inheritance, nor for such a grandmother.
