Im married to a man whose parents still havent accepted the fact that their son is already divorcedeven though its been over four years now. Theyre constantly trying to bring him and his ex back together. He and I have been married for three years and we live a happy life. My mother-in-law thinks her son acted rashly and made a foolish decision, and shes determined to restore his relationship with his former family by any means. After all, their son is still a part of that family.
When I first met Adam, he was already divorced. Supposedly, it was a mutual decision. His ex-wife happily remarried not long after, so I always suspected that another man was the reason behind their split.
Maybe it was a mistake for us to get married in the first place. Adam explained to me how it happened: his mother insisted he marry his ex when she became pregnant, even though he wasnt in love with her. They were only dating at the time. If she hadnt gotten pregnant, I wouldnt have married her, he told me.
I wasnt at all frightened by his ex-wifes presence in his past, but I decided to pay close attention at first. Soon I saw for myself that Adam hadnt felt a true attachment to his former familyhe was indifferent towards his ex. She felt the same: shed remarried, and they only spoke because of their son.
Only Adams mother couldnt accept this situation. Nor could his father. They kept trying every possible way to reunite the old family and made no effort to hide their disapproval of us.
Youre both young, you have your whole lives ahead of you. Why get involved in another familys business? she asked me once when we were alone together.
I told her honestly: if Adam had still been married, I never would have got involved. But he was single when we met. She looked like she wanted to argue, but then Adam walked in and she fell silent. It dawned on me then that wed never have much of a relationship, and, to be honest, I wasnt terribly worried about it.
We got married and set up home together, and I barely interacted with my mother-in-law except at the odd family gathering. On those occasions, I had to listen to her endless laments about Adams old family. He tried to shut her downhe wasnt happy about the subject eitherbut it always came up again eventually.
We werent in a hurry to have children. I didnt see myself as a mother, and Adam already had a son. That seemed to suit my mother-in-law very well. When Adam divorced, she actually accepted his ex quite easily. She would invite his former wife round for Christmas, sighing happily over the pair of them. Such a good couple, shed say, and looked for ways to praise his ex for anything at all.
Adams ex really didnt play into any of thisshe was completely indifferent. Shed just turn up and that was that. Her lack of involvement was obvious to everyone.
My mother-in-law even tried to make Adam jealous of his ex-wife, and did her best to stoke my own jealousy about him. Shed ring me up to ask if I knew where Adam was; if I didnt, she would assume he was with his ex. Sometimes shed even send him over there herselfjust little things like that.
I dont have a jealous bone in my body, but all this wore me down. Looking from the outside, anyone could see that nothing remains between Adam and his ex, and nothing ever will. Of course, it doesnt help that they have a child together. Adam regularly gives his ex money. Occasionally, hell chat with his son and bring him round to visit. His ex isnt one for drama: she never asks for money, never prevents Adam from seeing his son, and generally behaves in a thoroughly reasonable way. They seem like civilised adults who just couldnt make a marriage work. They each have their own lives now and treat each other with respect.
But my mother-in-law simply cannot accept it. Shes always plotting. I wonder when it will endif it ever will. My husband hopes everything will calm down when we finally have a child together, and she becomes a grandmother again. But I sincerely doubt it.
