Edward is a 40-year-old man, unmarried. Just a few years ago, he was the envy of every woman. Any lady would have loved to have a man like him. Tall, handsome, and quite wealthy. Now, however, all that remains of these qualities is his fortune. Youth has faded, his hair is thinning, and his waistline seems to grow a little each day. He is painfully aware of this and, for the first time in his life, begins to seriously contemplate marriage. But Edward has his doubts about whether hell ever find the right wife. His personality isnt easy: hes brusque, strict, and rather hard-nosed. Everyone around him knows this, and women frequently warn off any newcomers who show an interest in him. So Edward has come to realise his chances are slim.
He confides his worries to his friends, and they offer some advice which, a few months later, leads to him marrying. The day after the wedding, Edward decides its time to spell out his rules to his new wife:
Youll be living in my flat, and that should be a great privilege for you. I expect everything to be tidy at all times and in every corner. What exactly do you mean by that? asks Alice, a gentle smile on her lips. Ill explain it just this once, Edward says with a faint grin. You need to understand perfectly clearly that you could lose this happiness at any moment. Im very exacting, and you must get used to it and accept it. Also, towels always need to be dry and hanging in their proper place. Cleanliness is essential. Understood? Alice nods and listens carefully as he continues. They move into the kitchen, and Edward lays out all his expectations in detail. Of course, darling, Alice beams, and what time will you be home? Why do you need to know? he snaps. So I can prepare dinner. Hmm… you never know when Ill turn up, but dinner must be ready on time. And heaven help you if I dont like what youve made.
Dont worry, love, Alice answers, still smiling. Everything will be perfect. Edward cant get that smile out of his mind all day. That evening, before heading home, he goes to a local bistro and has a delicious meal. He wants to test his wife: regardless of the dinner shes prepared, he plans to declare it disgusting and refuse to eat. He does this for a whole week.
Edward arrives home. The place is silent. Is anyone home? Im back. Yes, Im here, responds Alice indifferently, I was watching telly and must have nodded off. Is dinner ready? Dinner? Oh, yes, dinner! Lets see what we have. Edward prepares to deliver his pre-rehearsed rebuke, but Alice interrupts: Take a seat, she says, placing a plate of cold, unsalted porridge in front of him. There you go! The porridge is cold, bland, and, if you dont eat every last bit, youve only yourself to blame. If you dont finish it, Ill be out the door and youll never see me again.
Well, Im only joking. Of course, youll see mejust with someone else. Oh, and by the way, I know youve been eating out. I can imagine how hard it must be to force down this revolting porridge on a full stomach. Edward is astonished. Do you want to know why Im so sharp and blunt with you? asks Alice. Just know thisthis is how it will be whenever you dare not answer my questions. Now, eat up, every bite. The sooner you start, the sooner youll finish!
Alice had been warned about her husbands peculiar nature, but she hadnt run from him.
Men arent born kind and affectionatethey become so under the firm hand of their wives, shed always believed. And she was right. Edward clears the whole bowl in just a few minutes. At last, he thinks, Ive found exactly the woman I need. Shes the one Ive dreamed of all my life.
