My friends, Thomas and Emily, live by the seaside. Last summer, the couple attended a christening where Thomas was to be the godfather. After the church ceremony, as is usual, there was a lively celebration. There they met the godchilds grandparents for the first time. They could hardly contain their excitement all evening over the fact that their granddaughter had such a wonderful godfather. Thomas, in their eyes, was the very model of goodness and generosity.
They were especially delighted that Emily and her husband lived so close to the beach.
What a marvelous godfather you are, the grandmother gushed. And you live by the seahow perfect! Now we have someone to visit by the coast, without needing to pay for a hotel. Family are so lovely, Thomas! How lucky we are to be related to you!
Well, who would have thought the godchilds grandmother would stick so firmly to her promise? A few weeks later, she arrived. But even before that, the godchilds father, Richard, had telephoned Thomas to ask if his parents could come to stay for three or four days. After a bit of family discussion, Emily and her husband agreedit didnt seem right to say no. It was the height of summer, and Thomas and Emily were both busy at work all day, so hosting guests wasnt especially convenient. Emily even had to take some time off work to be a proper hostess.
They came, lingered a while, enjoyed long days on the sand, and then, with smiles and grateful words, packed up and headed home.
Given that they only had a small two-bedroom flat, Emily decided that if they ever suggested making them happy with another visit, she would kindly refuse next time. When friends or the godchild come to visittheyre delighted. But parents of friends? Thats rather too much, especially in the rush of the summer season, when saving some pounds for winter was a priority.
When I heard about all this, one thing struck me. The friends parentsalready at a respectable age, both well past sixtyhad raised their children and grandchildren. Yet there they were, making full use of their family connections and treating friends as a free guesthouse by the sea.
It certainly seems that way, and to top it off, they promised theyd be back.
Reflecting on their experience, Ive learned the importance of setting boundaries, especially with family, and not being afraid to say no even when its difficult. Hospitality is wonderful, but we mustnt forget to look after ourselves, too.
