After our son married, he stopped visiting us altogether. Now, he spends all his time with his mother-in-law, who always appears to be in urgent need of assistance. I often wonder how she managed before her daughter married our son.
Our sons been married for over two years now. After he tied the knot, the young couple moved into a flat we purchased for him when he started university. From his childhood years, he always had our support and understanding. Before his marriage, hed already begun living alone, as his flat was conveniently close to his work.
I wont claim that I disliked my daughter-in-law; at the time, I simply felt she wasnt quite mature enough for married life, even though our son was only two years her senior. Shed often behave as if she were a little girl, sometimes even rather petulant. Our son was so gentle with her, and I pondered how he would manage his life with someone who seemed so childish.
Meeting her and her mother revealed to us what sort of people they were. Though our sons mother-in-law was the same age as myself, she acted like a child. You know the kindpeople who remain utterly infantile and helpless well into adulthood? At the time of her daughters wedding, she had already been divorced six times.
There was never much to converse about, for she lived in her own world, but at least she wasnt intrusive. Our exchanges amounted to polite congratulations during the childrens wedding, and not much else.
The first warning signs emerged before the wedding; our daughter-in-law kept dragging our son to her mothers housethere was always something: a dripping tap, a dodgy socket, a falling kitchen shelf. At first, I turned a blind eye; they had no man about the house, so our sons help was probably appreciated.
Yet as the months passed, the list of household mishaps in his mother-in-laws house never shortened. Our son started to shy away from us, excusing himself by saying he was needed at his wifes mothers house. The couple began celebrating every holiday at her place, while our family gatherings grew smallerjust myself, my husband, and my mother-in-law.
It saddened me when our son stopped coming to family celebrations, but what hurt most was when he began ignoring our requests for help.
Around this time, we bought a new fridge and asked our son to help move it in. He initially agreed, but then called to say he couldnt comethe washing machine at his mother-in-laws house was leaking, and he was needed there.
When my wife rang him, she overheard our daughter-in-law say, Couldnt your parents hire a removal team? Our son eventually turned up, but was visibly annoyed.
Dad, couldnt you just call a moving company? Now Ive got to lug it myself!
I lost heart and questioned why his mother-in-law couldnt simply ring a tradesman herself. Perhaps she lives in some strange world without repairmen? Our son said she needed his help because now everyone cheatsthey take your money, but dont fix anything.
At that point, my husband couldnt restrain himself and joked that perhaps our sons mother-in-law knew nothing about appliances, but she made an excellent shepherd, as she seemed gifted at leading a lamb. Our son was instantly offended and left in a huff. I didnt interfere at the time; I felt my husband was right, since the new in-laws were constantly reliant on our son. For her, he was the plumber and the repairman, but for us, he forgot where we lived.
After that row, our son hasnt spoken to his father for over a fortnight. My husband refuses to be the one to make peace. Now, I feel caught between a rock and a hard place; my husband is surely right, but perhaps he could have spoken to our son more gently. Our son now holds a grudge and wont see his father, and I refuse to lose him over such nonsense.
Neither side will budgemy husband wont contact our son, and our son insists he wont speak to his father until he receives an apology. In this situation, only my mother-in-law seems quite content.
