No one has ever hurt me as deeply as my ex-husband.
We havent seen each other for the past three months. The last time was when I dropped our daughter off for his weekend with her. Its only been twelve weeks, yet hes become almost unrecognisable.
For years, I urged him to get in shape, but he would never listen. He kept eating takeaways and drinking pints of fizzy drinks, always lounging around in his free time. I couldnt persuade him to take a walk, let alone join a gym. But now? Hes laid a yoga mat right in the centre of his cramped London flat. Hes sporting a new haircut and his clothes are freshly pressed, though theres no one around tending to him. For years, I couldnt teach him how to load or start the washing machine, but nowsuddenlyhe manages it all on his own.
So, we talked
That conversation told me more than I wanted to know. He pointed out that Id underestimated him throughout our marriage, which is why hed been so unpleasant, but now hes grown, and my daughter and I are no longer part of his future. Hes got a new partner, and for her, hes working on his body, his habits, and his career. That cut me to the core. He never lifted a finger for me or his own child, and yet hes gone and changed completely for someone else.
They say you only get out what you put in, but my ex-husband was never one to reciprocate. I loved him, respected him, and rarely even complained, because he was convinced nothing needed to change. I never truly received anything back in return
Even after we separated, he put himself firstnever his daughter, who he hadnt even visited in all that time. Sometimes I wish hed had to stand in my shoes, make the effort, and get back what he always gave: nothing at all. But perhaps Ill never know.
If this whole miserable business has taught me anything, its that some people only discover their best selves when youre no longer in their life.
