All my friends have mums who seem to handle their grandkids without breaking a sweat. For my mum, though, looking after her granddaughter is just impossible. She tells me the same thing every time: Shes your child, love, Ive already brought up mine. My daughter, Emily, is five and goes to nursery. Two years ago, once my maternity leave finished, I had to get back to work; Im an early years teacher, which unfortunately means I cant just take time off as I please. Thats when having mum nearby would be an absolute lifesaver.
You know, mum has loads of free time, especially in winter when she doesnt have the garden to potter about in. Shes at home all day, mostly just watching daytime telly or nattering on the phone with her friends. She doesnt really have any other commitments. Just last week, after taking Emily to the optician, we found out shes got some trouble with her eyesight. So, I phoned mum and explained wed need to take Emily to the clinic for ten days. We pick her up from nursery about one oclock, and shed just need dropping off at the clinic in the morning. Everythings close by the nursery, the clinic, and mums place.
Emilys a well-behaved kid, and mum knows that. Shes not awkward, shes not a whirlwind, doesnt make a fuss, eats whatever shes givenhonestly, shes easy. Yet, for some reason, mum just doesnt seem to warm up to her. There was this day both my husband and I had to be at work at the same time and needed mums help.
It would honestly be a godsend if she could come give us a hand for a few days, but she just wont. Luckily, weve got family nearby who can occasionally step in and support us if things get tricky. My nan actually lives next door, and shes not exactly rushed off her feet these days, so youd think itd make sense for her to mind Emily while were both out at work. Nobody would have to go out of their way, since shes just next door, and it really would make things less stressful for the two of us.
Since mum retired, Ive been the one helping her out with money. Im always sending her cash and I pay her rent outright twice a month. When we go shopping, she tags along and, to be honest, its usually us who end up buying her groceries. I get her lovely expensive presents for every special occasion. But mum just treats all this like its her due, you know? She sort of assumes that just because Im her daughter, obviously I should be bringing round food and covering her rent every month. But honestly, I just cant get my head round it. My child is apparently my sole responsibility, not something anyone else should care about.
It feels like grandmothers here arent actually obligated to help their kids out, yet many still do. Do you think thats fair? It really stings sometimes I honestly bend over backwards for my mum and it just feels like nothing is ever enough for her.
