My son isnt divorced; he lives with his girlfriend, but he absolutely has no say in things. Every single time I go over, my daughter-in-law makes me promise a certain amount of money to bring, or else she wont let me see my grandson.
They got married two years ago. I didnt like this young woman from the start. She had shifty eyes and seemed rather grasping. The ink on the marriage certificate was barely dry when she started arguing that my three-bedroom flat needed to be split, saying half should go to them for housing, and how come a grown man doesnt have a flat of his own?
We argued about it, of course. For one, I also have a daughter, and secondly, why on earth should I upend my life and sell my flat just to please her? I raised my children, gave them a good education and a fair start in life; the rest they should earn themselves, just as I did together with my late husbandnothing was handed to us.
My daughter isnt married yet, she works hard and has taken out a mortgage. For a while, she lived with me and rented out her place to help make ends meet, but now shes settled on her own. My son, however, is hopeless. He does whatever his wife tells him. He doesnt even want to live with me. As for hershes an outsider, unwilling to even consider renting on her own, as though she were royalty.
Its not like I was thrilled at the thought of living together in my flat, but I would have considered it, just so they could save up for a deposit. But I have no intention of selling or giving up anything. When Im gone, the kids will inherit half each, and they can sort it out between them.
I told my daughter-in-law this, in no uncertain terms. Honestly, shes so brazen. She turns around and says: Mum, isnt it a bit much for you to be living alone in a three-bedroom place? Thats her idea of a good attitude! I asked my son to talk some sense into her, but he just muttered something under his breath.
I really dont know where my son came from. His father and I were both tough; my sisters tough too, but my son is as soft as butter. I wonder how he managed to get married at all. I suspect she was rather eager and snapped him up herself.
Ever since that discussion about the flat, my daughter-in-law and I have barely been in touch. My son would sometimes call, but he never came roundit seems his wife forbade it. Then, over the phone, I learned I was to be a grandmother. Of course, it was movingit was my first grandchild! I wanted to make peace, so I bought a gift and a cake and went to visit, but she slipped in a nasty remark about her child being born in someone elses flat, like a squatter. She launched right back into talk about property.
The olive branch didnt take. I didnt argue with a pregnant woman, just quietly left. I truly believe that if someones a fool, its for life. I didnt see her for the rest of the pregnancy. I was in poor health myself, forever dashing to doctorsjust felt finished. I wasn’t even called when she gave birth; I only found out a week later when my son finally phoned.
He invited me to come see the baby, then midway through the conversation, my daughter-in-law piped up to say not to bother with gifts, just bring cash. I didnt arguemoney is money. Parents know best, I thought. I broke into my savings, as its not every day your grandchild is born, and went to visit as arranged.
At the door, my daughter-in-law peered into the envelope and pulled a face. Ten thousand pounds apparently meant nothing to her. She didnt say anything outright, but her disappointment was unmistakable. Still, I saw my grandsonan absolute darling, and he had his fathers nose. I didnt stay long and headed home soon after. I wasnt invited again, and I didnt press the matter; after all, having a child is no small thing, you need to adjust. But three months later, it was clear they wouldnt call, so I rang my son and asked to visit.
I bought a little something for my grandson and a cake for tea, then set off. My daughter-in-law met me at the door. She accepted the gifts, glanced at me, and frowned.
To be honest, we made ourselves clear last time, she began. We dont need your offerings, we need money for the child.
So now, whenever I want to see my grandson, Im expected to turn up with an envelope? I asked.
What do you think? Were renting because of you, my husbands the only one working. Youve done nothing for your grandson, so at least give us some money to help.
I could feel the indignation tighten around my throat. My son heard all of this and just stood there, silent, the baby in his arms, doe-eyed.
I turned and left. I wouldnt lower myself before such cheek! I refuse to pay for the privilege of seeing my own grandchild.
Its now been almost a year without a word. Neither side calls. Then, a week ago, my son finally phonedits my grandsons birthday, Im invited, just dont forget a gift. Of course, my daughter-in-law jumped in straightaway to specify how much money she expected, a sum equal to my monthly pension.
I didnt go. I simply dont have that kind of money. Ive had to accept that I havent really got a grandson or even a son. If I truly had a son, he wouldnt let his wife blackmail me with my own family. Let them get on with it, stewing in their own mess. I refuse to pay to see my grandchild.
Im now considering what to do with the flat, so that even after Im gone, neither my soft-hearted son nor his greedy wife can lay their hands on a single scrap.
