My mother-in-law is incredibly protective over her son. Every day during the holidays, my husband drops by her place for lunch. Every single day, she sends him texts. If anything goes wrong, he dashes to her for advice, and whenever hes short on money, he goes straight to her.
Today, I came home from work to find his mother in our living room with a suitcase full of clothes and books.
“Evening, Mum,” I said politely. “Whats with the suitcase?”
“Ive decided to stay with you for a week,” she replied. “I’ll help around the house, with the little one, and with your husband. After all, he needs to be properly fed, and I know you cant always manage everything, what with your job and all,” she added matter-of-factly.
Of course, my mother-in-law is a commanding character, and her ways are quite particular. I didnt argue, nor did I try to reason, just slipped off to have a word with my husband. His reaction, needless to say, left me stunned.
“Darling, did I hear correctly? Your mums decided to stay with us? Without so much as asking?” I said. “She says I cant cope with running the house.”
“I dont mind,” he shrugged. “Let her stay. Why is it your mum cant come and stay, but mine can? Is my mum not good enough? When your mum stayed with us for a week, did I complain at all?” he retorted.
“Hold on, love,” I replied. “My mum lives in another city, she only visits once or twice a year! Id never stick her in a hotel. Your mum lives just down the road and pops in almost every day!”
Truthfully, I cannot bear my mother-in-law staying here when Im not around. I imagine her poking her nose into our things and rummaging through cupboards whenever were out.
My husband seems used to this overbearing attention from his mum. Hes already getting grey hairs, yet she still rushes about, bringing soup and fussing over him. Weve argued about this endlessly. It annoys me that he hasnt cut the apron strings, and shes miffed that Im not looking after her precious boy to her standards! Shes forever offering unsolicited advice on how I ought to live, what I should do, how I should care for her son.
When we were first married, she visited every day, washed his socks and waited with dinner ready for him. Eventually, Id had enough. I spoke to my husband, who then had a talk with her, and she reduced her drop-ins to two or three times a week. Then, when our son was born, she ramped up her visits again.
Now, Ive come to a decision: if my mother-in-law wants to be in charge, Ill rent my own flat and move out. I told my husband as much. If your mum stays, I go.
“She only wants to help!” he answered with irritation.
“Do I need her kind of help?” I replied, exhausted.
