I want to write down the revelation that struck me late in life. Sadly, the realisation was quite unpleasant, but as they say, better late than never.
I finally understood why I found myself living alone at the age of seventy. My children havent spoken to me for over a decade, and my grandchildren wouldnt recognize me if they passed me on the street. What brought this about?
Its dawned on me, only now with the years weighing on me, that Ive spent my life in the wrong way and made choices I deeply regret. But, of course, you cant turn back the clock.
I always thought of my children as foolish and scatterbrained. I believed it was my duty to instruct them, to push them onto the right path, to tell them how to live their lives properly. If they fell short in any way, I was quick to point out their failings, often with my favourite phrase: If youd only listened to your mother, things would have worked out differently.
I would interfere in their business and every aspect of their lives, convinced that nothing could be sorted without my involvement. I made blunt, sometimes rude comments, even in front of friends and family at gatherings.
Eventually, my children began to distance themselves, and now were as good as strangers. I didnt even know when my granddaughter was born; word reached me from people I hardly knew.
I tried to reach outcalled, wrote lettersbut it all amounted to nothing. My children responded with: If were so thick, why dont you go spend time with cleverer people? What use are we to you?
My greatest realisation, one thats come far too late, is that children should always be treated as mature individuals in their own right. They need a mother who listens and understands, who offers comfort and support, who bakes a lovely pie and makes a proper cup of tea.
You ought not to meddle in your childrens private affairs. Its their life, they deserve to choose how they wish to live it. And now, Im left on my own. What use is it, being clever, if it leads only to loneliness?
Cherish your children, or you may find yourself alone in your old age.
