Sometimes, life just unfolds this way
John was long-awaited by his parents. But the pregnancy was difficult, and he arrived prematurely. He spent weeks in an incubator at St. Thomas Hospital in London. Many of his organs were underdeveloped. He needed a ventilator. Two surgeries followed. He suffered from detached retinas.
Twice, his parents were told to say their goodbyes. But against the odds, John pulled through.
It soon became clear, though, that he could barely see or hear. While his physical development eventually improvedhe managed to sit up, grasp his toys, then toddle along the sofahis cognitive milestones just didnt come, however hard they tried.
His parents kept hoping at first. They fought together, but gradually, Johns father slipped away, leaving his mother, Emily, to soldier on alone.
Emily found a way to get John cochlear implants when he was three and a half, using one of the NHSs support schemes. Now he could hear, or so it seemed, but still, nothing changed in his development. Sessions with specialist teachers, speech therapists, psychologistsall sorts of expertsfollowed. Emily brought John to see me more than once.
Id say, Lets try this, and how about that? Emily always gave things a go. But nothing worked. Most of the time, John sat quietly in his playpen, endlessly spinning some object. Hed bang it on the floor or bite his hand. Occasionally, hed howl on a single note or in a strange rhythmic way. Emily insisted John recognised her, made a unique little gutteral sound to call for her, and loved a scratch on his back or his legs.
At last, one elderly psychiatrist told her, quite bluntly, Whats the use of another diagnosis? You have what amounts to a walking vegetable. You need to make a decision and get on with your life. Youve learnt how to look after him, havent you? Theres no real hope for major progress, and its no use sacrificing yourself next to his playpen, Im afraid. It was the first time anyone had been so direct with her. Emily placed John in a special nursery and went back to work.
Not too long after, she bought herself a motorbikesomething shed always dreamt of. She began riding through the streets and out onto the country roads with fellow enthusiasts. With the engine roaring beneath her, all her worries faded. Johns father sent child maintenance payments, which Emily spent on weekend carers for Johnhe wasnt especially difficult to care for, once you got used to his noises.
One day, one of her biking friends, Adam, confessed, Ive really fallen for you, you know. Theres something tragic and fascinating about you.
Come along, Ill show you, Emily replied.
Adam grinned, thinking she was inviting him back to her place for the night. Instead, Emily introduced him to John. John was quite lively then, modulating his howls and making those odd gurgling sounds, perhaps recognising his mother or agitated by the new face.
Blimey, what the heck! Adam exclaimed.
And what did you expect? Emily replied.
In time, they not only rode together, but Adam moved in. He and Emily had made an agreement from the starthe kept his distance from John, which Emily didnt mind. Later, Adam suggested, Why dont we have a baby of our own? Emily shot back, And what if we have another like John? What then? Adam was silent for nearly a year before bringing it up again: No, truly, lets try.
Their son Peter was born, perfectly healthy. Adam said, Shall we put John in residential care now? Since weve got a healthy boy? Emily shot back, Id put you in care long before Id put John there. Adam quickly backed down: I was just asking Peter discovered John at about nine months, crawling around the flat.
Peter was fascinated. Adam panicked and told Emily not to let Peter near Johnit could be dangerous. But Adam was always at work or on his bike, so Emily let Peter play. Whenever Peter was close by, John, curiously, never howled. Emily noticed John seemed almost to listen, to wait. Peter would bring toys, show John how to use them, folding and unfolding Johns fingers himself.
One weekend, Adam was down with a cold and stuck at home. He saw Peter, not yet steady on his feet, babbling as he tottered about, trailed by John like a shadowJohn, who previously never left his corner. Adam lost it, demanding, Keep my boy away from your idiot, or youd better be watching them both all the time! Emily pointed silently at the door.
Adam got frightened. They made up again. Emily came to see me:
Hes a blockhead, but I love him, she said. Awful, isnt it?
Its absolutely normal, I told her. To love your childwhatever…
I mean Adam! Emily clarified. So, is John really risky for Peter, what do you think?
I told her all evidence suggested Peter was the dominant one in that pair, but of course, supervision wouldnt hurt. So thats what we agreed.
By the time he was one and a half, Peter taught John to stack rings by size. Meanwhile, Peter was speaking in sentences, singing nursery rhymes, and acting out hand games like Round and round the garden. Is he a child prodigy? Emily asked me. Adam wants to know. Hes so proud, he might bursttheir mates kids cant even say mummy and daddy yet.
I think its because of John, I suggested. Not many kids have to be the engine of someone elses development at that age.
Exactly! Emily beamed. Ill tell that to the blockhead.
What a strange family, I thoughta walking vegetable, the blockhead, a biker mum, and a wunderkind. After Peter learned to use the potty, he spent six months teaching John to do the same. Teaching John to eat, drink from a cup, dress and undressthose were challenges Emily herself assigned to Peter.
At three and a half, Peter became direct: So, whats wrong with John, anyway?
Well, first of all, he cant see, Emily answered.
He can see! Peter insisted. Just poorly. He sees this, but not that. Depends on the light. The best is the bulb in the bathroomhe sees most there.
The ophthalmologist was bewildered when a three-year-old was brought along to explain Johns vision, but listened carefully, ordered more tests, and on the results prescribed treatment and special glasses.
Peter didnt get on with nursery at all. He belongs in school, hes such a clever clogs! the exasperated teacher told Emily. He thinks he knows everything better than anyone.
I was dead set against pushing Peter into school early; let him join clubs and keep helping Johns progress. Surprisingly, Adam agreed with me, telling Emily: Just stay with the kids until school starts; whats the point of that daft nursery? Besides, have you noticed John hasnt howled in a year?
Half a year later, John managed a few words: Mama, Dad, Peter, please, drink, meow. The boys started school together. Peter worried: How will John get by without me? Are the staff there any good? Will they understand him? Even now, in Year Five, he does Johns homework with him before his own.
John now speaks in simple sentences. He can read and use the computer. He likes cooking and tidying upunder Peter or Emilys supervisionloves sitting in the garden, listening, watching, sniffing the breeze. He greets all the neighbours. He likes making things from plasticine, building, and dismantling construction sets.
But above all, he loves it when the whole family goes riding down country lanesEmily on her bike with John behind, Peter and Adam on theirs, all of them shouting joyfully into the wind.
