Whenever theres a wedding in the family, it stirs up so many emotions for everyone involved. Marriage seems to fill the whole household with excitement and joy.
Yet for some reason, people only ever look at it from one angle, as though lifelike a coindoesnt have two sides.
Now, dont get me wrong; Im not suggesting that marriage is dreadful. Its just that so many women still believe happiness is something you can only really find by getting married and starting a family. I often see young girls not fully grasping what marriage truly means and just how much it can demand of you.
For many, their whole future plan revolves around getting married, thinking everything will simply fall into place after that.
Let me share my own experience. I used to think that if I married the man I loved and had a child with him, Id be the happiest woman alive.
Sadly, marriage brought new struggles I hadnt imagined. We hadnt even started saving for a house when I discovered I was expecting a baby. These days, having a child can be terribly expensive.
Of course, we were delighted when we found out about the pregnancy. My husband was busy running his own small business while I was on maternity leave, worrying endlessly about our finances. Im not even talking about gathering together a deposit for a house! Motherhood itself was incredibly hard for me. My son was restless and always poorly, I was permanently exhausted, and on edge to the point where I could hardly control myself. At times, I actually thought about running away. As it turns out, not every woman is naturally suited to holding family life together.
I wish Id realised this sooner. By the time my son was two, my husband had lost his business. He slipped into a deep depressionwhere theres despair, theres usually a bottle of whisky close by. I simply couldnt stand by, so I put my son into nursery and started working two full-time jobs. I did my absolute utmost to keep us afloat, all while my husband slept off yet another hangover upstairs. It became so overwhelming that some days I wanted to scream. I believe that had it just been me on my own, I could have coped with the workload, the exhaustion, and the stress.
One day, I asked my mother-in-law if she would speak to her son, try to knock some sense into him. After all, its not typical for a man to lose all resolve and give up on providing. At the same time, I opened up to her about how hard I was finding things, how close to breaking point I was.
I had hoped for support and kind words. Instead, my mother-in-law told me this: Youre not the only person going through a rough patch. But youre a woman; you must endure, because it simply isnt right for a woman to show weakness.
Its usually the woman who is the glue that holds the family together, so bite your tongue when you feel like shouting and blink back any tears. Whatever trials life throws your way, accept them and keep moving forward. Dont complain!
To be honest, her words cut through me like a knife.
Shes a woman herself, and I know things cant have been easy for her. Her own husband is bone idle, but instead of supporting each other, she told me to just close my eyes and carry on. But how long am I supposed to keep carrying on like this? We get one life, and surely its meant to be lived happily, as smoothly as possible. Of course, there will be hurdles, but thisthis doesnt feel right. A woman deserves to be joyful and cherished.
