No one has ever hurt me as deeply as my ex-husband did.
We havent seen each other for the past three months. The last encounter was when I drove our daughter over to his place for the weekend. Twelve weeks have passed, yet hes changed drastically in such a short time.
For years, I used to tell him he ought to lose some weight, but he never listened. Instead, he kept on with his unhealthy snacks and cans of fizzy drinks, always lounging about in his spare time. It was almost impossible to convince him to step outside, let alone go to the gym. Now, suddenly, hes rolled out a yoga mat right in the centre of his tiny London flat, visible the moment you come in. Hes even got a trendy new haircut and his clothes look neat and freshly pressed, despite the fact that, as far as I know, no ones looking after him. For years, he couldnt be persuaded to learn how to use the washing machinegetting him to load and run it was a never-ending struggleyet now, all at once, hes doing his own laundry without a word to anyone.
So, of course, we talked…
Id heard enough. He told me that Id underestimated him throughout our marriage, that it was my fault hed been so unkind, but now hes different, and neither our daughter nor I fit into his life any longer. Apparently, hes in a new relationship, which makes him incredibly happyhappy enough to work on his body, improve his manners, and even increase his earnings. That was the greatest blow. He never lifted a finger for me, or for our daughter, and yet hes changed so much for another woman.
People say you only get back as much as you give. My ex was never the type to reciprocate. I loved him, I respected him, and only occasionally made a comment when he seemed set in his ways. He never believed anything needed to change, and in the end, I never really received anything from him.
Even after our separation, hes put himself firsthe didnt even seem concerned about how long its been since he last saw his daughter. Sometimes, I wish he could have stood in my shoes, just for a whileto put in the effort that I did, and then see if hed like to be on the receiving end of what he always gave me. But, as with so many things in life, I suppose Ill never know…
