A day I wont soon forget. I reached my breaking point with Mum and Dad; I simply couldnt take the way they were treating me any longer. For the first time ever, I cut Mum off mid-conversation, just snapped. In a rush of anger, I hurled my phone against the wall and shattered it. I know it wasnt the most rational thing to do, but I was overwhelmedrage, bitterness, and a crushing helplessness tangled together and wouldnt let go. After all that, I broke down and cried. I cant remember the last time I felt so utterly weighed down.
Juggling two jobs, giving it everything, and yet not a hint of support from either of them. It makes things feel so much worse. To top it off, they always seem completely invested in my sister Emilynever me. I keep telling myself I should be happy for her, but the reality of my finances keeps creeping in. Theres not enough spare cash for basics, never mind helping anyone else.
My phone rings and its Mum, first thing, asking if I can lend them a bit of money. Honestly, with my own financial struggles, I had to say no. Shortly after, Emily sends me an invite to her housewarming, and again, I have to decline. I just cant afford anything extra.
A few days later, Mum turns up at my flat. For a fleeting moment, I hope shes come to apologiseespecially for asking me to chip in for Emilys flat, knowing full well I can barely meet my own mortgage payments. Instead, our conversation grows hostile. She senses Im offended and accuses me of being obsessed with money. I try to explain its not just about finances. I mention my ongoing issues with my mortgage and how they both are well aware of my situation but seem to ignore it.
Mum avoids talking it through properly, accusing me and dismissing my feelings altogether. The hurt is hard to describe. I finally raise my voice and tell her how much I want to be acknowledged and loved too. I ask what exactly Ive done to deserve different treatment from Emily.
After she leaves, I feel emotionally drained, but also determined to find a way forwardsome path to peace and mutual affection in my family. Thats all I really want.
