Naturally, its all my own doing! My mates sister is in tears. I never imagined it would turn out like this! And now I havent the faintest idea what to do or how to put things right without losing my dignity.
My sister tied the knot a few years ago.
After the wedding, it was decided the newlyweds would move in with the grooms mum. My mother owns a spacious three-bedroom flat and only has one son.
Ill keep one room for myself and the other two are yours! declared the mother-in-law. Were all civilised people, so Im sure well get along perfectly well. And if not, we can always get a place of our own! my brother-in-law told his wife at the time. I honestly think theres no harm in giving it a go, sharing with my mum. If it doesnt work, we can always rent a flat…
So off they went. But as it happened, living together turned out to be a tall order. Both the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law made an effort, but things only seemed to worsen with each passing day. Tensions would build up and eventually burst out into arguments, which began to happen more and more.
You said if it didnt work, wed move out and get our own flat away from your mother! the wife sobbed as she confronted her husband. Oh, surely its not that bad? he said, half laughing. Theyre only little niggles. No point in making a mountain out of a molehill and packing our bags for something so trivial.
Exactly a year after the wedding, the wife went on maternity leave, and not long after, welcomed a healthy baby boy.
The arrival of the grandson corresponded with the timing of the mother-in-law leaving her old job, and she hadnt managed to find a new one yet no one was too keen to hire a lady nearing retirement. With the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law cooped up together day in, day out, neither able to get away, the atmosphere in the flat became increasingly strained.
The husband simply shrugged his shoulders and let them get on with it, as he was the sole breadwinner at the time.
We cant exactly leave my mum on her own now, as shes got no income. I cant abandon her, but at the same time, I cant afford to pay rent somewhere else and still help her out financially. Once she finds a job, well move.
But the young wifes patience ran out long before her mother-in-law found any new employment. Packing up hers and the babys things, she moved back to her own mothers place. Before leaving, she told her husband she would never set foot in his mums house again. If he cared about his family, hed have to come up with a solution.
She believed that her husband valued his family and would immediately do everything he could to win her back. But she couldnt have been more wrong.
Three months went by after shed moved back, and her husband still hadnt tried to win her over. He remained living with his mother, and after work, only spoke to his wife and child over video calls, visiting them at his mother-in-laws on weekends.
Their marriage turned into a sort of weekend relationship.
The man now enjoys the attention and care of two women plus, his mum genuinely feels for her poor son, whose wife up and left him, and on top of that theres no need for him to look after the baby. The husband comes out smelling of roses! And, truth be told, the mother-in-law seems to be doing perfectly well too, having lost nothing.
After leaving her husband, the wife has been tearing her hair out. Shes miserable with this arrangement. She really does love her husband, even though she knows full well hes not behaving as he should.
What did you expect when you left? her husband replies flatly. You can always come back if you want.
It seems pretty clear he has no intention of moving out from his mothers to some rented flat. The wife, being on maternity leave, obviously cant afford to set out on her own.
Is this really the end of the marriage?
What do you think? Does my friends sister stand even a slim chance of returning to her mother-in-laws and holding her head high?
