My parents always lived far away, leaving me in the care of my grandparents when I was a child, largely because of their demanding jobs. Even though they were never in any real financial hardship, their careers always took precedence over spending quality time with me. As a result, I built a much deeper bond with my grandparents, who always supported and encouraged me at every step.
When I turned eighteen, I inherited two flats, which offered me the perfect opportunity to show my parents that I was capable of standing on my own. I ended up selling them and used the money to buy a house in Oxford, the city where I was studying at university. Throughout my university days, my parents remained distanta presence always felt but never nearand I gradually grew accustomed to their absence in my everyday life.
Sadly, I lost both my grandparents while I was studying, which only made me feel more detached from my parents. I couldnt help thinking that they hadnt significantly contributed to my upbringing or been truly present in my life. Our lack of a meaningful relationship made it difficult for me to prioritise themjust as theyd once found it difficult to prioritise me.
So, when they voiced their disappointment at not receiving any money from the sale of the flats, I felt no obligation to share. From my point of view, they hadnt stood by me during the most important years, so now I was justified in putting my own needs first. I paid little attention to their complaints about my lack of time for themI had learnt that my work and personal wellbeing had to come first, just as they had put their careers first when I was young.
My reply to their grumbling was always straightforward: Im working, I dont have time. Deep down, I believed they, of all people, should understand the demands a job can make on a persons lifeits the life they chose for themselves, after all. In the end, focusing on my own path and achievement became my way of coping with their absence and putting my own happiness at the forefront.
