For eight years I lived in marriage with my husband, thinking he was an ordinary man, but during the divorce all his true colours came out. Now I feel nothing but revulsion looking back at all those years spent with him, but in some strange way Im grateful I finally got away.
Before we tied the knot, we dated for a year, so altogether we were a couple for nine years. In that time, all sorts happened, as you might expect we argued, we made up, there were good days and bad. I thought it was a normal married life, as everyone must go through something similar. My own parents faced plenty of trials together, but have made their marriage last over fifty years and seem content.
We have a son as well hes six now, though he was five when we separated. My husband rarely lifted a finger for him, always saying our son was still too young and promising hed spend time with him when he was a bit older.
As for housework, he barely participated. At the very best, he might do the washing up or take out the rubbish. His mother raised him to believe housework was strictly a womans job no proper gentleman should do that, shed say.
My mother-in-law is an entirely different story. Thank heavens she lives in another city and only comes round three times a year, which is more than enough. Her visits were exhausting. Everyone in my husbands family seemed to agree with him on how a household should run, but whenever his mother turned up with all her old-fashioned ideas, chaos erupted, turning every visit into a battlefield.
What really got my goat were her endless lectures about “providers and homemakers.” I was the primary earner, bringing in a considerably higher salary than my husband. So it was never clear to me at all who was supposed to be keeping the home afloat, and who was meant to be bringing down the woolly mammoth, as it were.
In the final year, my husband stopped working altogether. His company managed to scrape through the pandemic for a bit, and I thought the rough patch was behind us. Sadly, I was wrong. The company eventually went under and all employees were made redundant. My husband started the so-called job hunt.
It was always something the pay was too low, the commute too long, not enough experience, or the employer seemed dodgy. He scrolled through job listings while I slogged away in two shifts first at work, then rushing home to collect our son from school and handle everything else. He was always too busy looking for work to help with chores.
Unsurprisingly, this didnt sit well with me. I started picking fights, shouting, slamming doors, and sleeping on friends sofas. I gave him almost the last chance, but he never took it.
Eventually, Id simply had enough. I packed his things and kicked him out of my flat which, by the way, my parents had given me before we married and filed for divorce. He did try to win me back a couple of times, but honestly, I was so worn out that I couldnt bring myself to trust any more empty promises.
We got divorced, but even now my ex-husband cant let things lie. He and his mother continually slander me in front of his entire family. I dont care much about those people, but he even rang up my parents, spinning tales and being generally unpleasant. Thats the last thing my parents need at their age.
On top of that, while I was out one day, he let himself into my flat using his old key and took my laptop, my coat, the microwave, and my jewellery. Of course, I had no receipts, so there was no point calling the police as Id never prove anything. Still, his actions spoke volumes. I should have changed the locks straight away, but never imagined hed stoop so low.
The real shock came in court when he told the judge he wanted a paternity test because he didnt believe the boy was his. I refused outright, instead telling him that he wasnt the father, which stunned both him and his mother. Maybe it was a lie, but the looks on their faces made it worth every word.
After that, the court removed his name from my sons birth certificate, and I was finally free. Ive read stories about fathers who try to control and threaten mothers, but in the end, everything was resolved in my favour my ex gave me the greatest gift by leaving.
As for his family, theyre convinced my son is his, since the boy is the spitting image of him. But I have no interest in letting those people near us, and now I have every legal right to keep them away. They truly outdid themselves. I dont need their help, and I certainly dont need any child maintenance.
Looking back, I realise you can dedicate years of your life to someone and still not truly know them. But the lesson I carry away is that freedom and peace of mind are worth far more than hanging onto an illusion.
